Friday, February 27, 2015

A Megan Moment

Maya and Megan take a number of pills each morning with their breakfast....Megan takes six and Maya takes at least ten......

This is Megan's pink container that she refills every weekend, for the following week.....

It sits in the glassed door cupboard, over the buffet. Megan has had this system going for a few years now and is quite comfortable with it....she doesn't always fill the little compartments properly but she always picks up on that on the day she takes those pills.

Since Maya started taking a lot of pills......vitamins and supplements...they have been kept in a container in another cupboard.....

I thot..maya should have a container also and it would save her getting all these bottles and containers out I did.....I got her a little bit larger, purple container....

In the picture you also see Ben's lonely prescription bottle of the pills he takes every morning....

So......the first day that maya put her new container in the cupboard, Megan spied it immediately thru the glass door cupboard......she of course, assumed it was a container for her....I explained that no, it was Maya's......'but, I need a new container...I think mines beginning to come apart', she says....'not true, I said...yours' is just fine.....'

(Megan did the same thing a couple of months ago when I got Maya a new pair of boots, and all of a sudden, Megan's boots, which were just purchased last year, were 'falling apart'....actually, the extra tab attached to the zipper other words there were two tabs on the zipper....well one had come off....I explained I wasn't getting new boots for her because of that!) she could still easily zipper the boots closed!

So, now a little jealousy has sprung up over maya getting a little pill container....oi vey....

That night , before she went to bed...Megan expressed the confusion she was feeling over the two containers.....I was was pink and one was obviously purple....what could possibly be the problem..but she insisted that she would surely get confused the next morning and take the wrong container....and perhaps even taking the wrong pills....this went on for a number of minutes and in my exasperation, I said Fine! And put Maya's container on another shelf! That seemed to satisfy her.

The next day I was in cleaning mode and cleaned off the buffet, below the cupboard....when I glanced up, I really didn't like seeing Maya's container displayed thru the glass so, I put it back on the shelf with the other two.

This morning Don decided to tease her a bit....questioning about her pill container....she assured him that all was well because she put HER container on the upper shelf, and she no longer had any confusion!


Thursday, February 5, 2015

She's Here!

Juniper Mae Wettlaufer was born at 2:00am, Thursday, January 29, 2015

Isn't she just beautiful? Her papa and I certainly think so!

We were so privileged to be able to attend her birth and I was even able to be in the birthing's a marvellous, breath holding experience and one I never tire of......

Unfortunately, later on that morning, after a few very short hours of sleep, a snow storm was moving in so by noon we were suppose to be back on the road for home. Hubby had to teach his college class that evening and we couldn't leave our adult kids unattended any longer.....we had arranged for our church secretary to come and sleep at our house on Wednesday night while we were three hours away, but couldn't prevail upon her for longer.

This is one of the things I was going to point out to the perspective adopting foster parents at Childrens Aid this past Monday night.....if this huge storm hadn't come through the area and closed everything down! You see, when you have developmentally delayed young just can't leave them overnight to their own devices.....that would be like leaving a 4,9 and 13 year old on their own, since that is the comprehension level of our 18, 23, and 22 year old children/adults that we have in our home. This is something to consider as none of the children coming into care these days and are available for adoption, haven't been affected by prenatal alcohol poisoning which will result in FAS.....a terrible brain damaging result of the mother drinking alcohol or doing drugs while pregnant. The foster/adoptive parents need to realize that this is a real possibility for their lives if they choose to go ahead and adopt.

Usually, I would have also either stayed to help with the new baby or went back up there ( they live three hours away) to help out for a week or two, but unfortunately the month of February is filled with appointments and events that are cast in stone and can not be changed.....things such as cardiology testing for Megan, who was born with a severe heart condition, a needle appointment for keep her hormone levels on an even keel to help to prevent her from having an emotional break, another appointment with Megan's cardiologist , taking Ben to city hall to help a social worker with a presentation to get more funding for a bus program....Ben successfully took this program and is a positive example of how it helps developmentally delayed young adults to navigate the transit system so they can be independent to some degree.....and like I mentioned, I did have that appointment to go and talk to foster parents who are wanting to adopt.....a presentation of a very pleasant activity....a bridal shower has been planned for Sara....Sara and our son Paul plan on marrying in's an exciting time and the plans for the shower have been going on for months!

So, this is the month of February, .....all filled up with things that couldn't be changed and so staying up north, helping out with the baby, getting to know our new grand daughter ( that's the part I regret the most) will not happen this month. Fortunately for Juniper and her parents, her other grand parents are there , helping with all the things that need to be done when a new member of the family comes home.........but I do miss doing that.....a lot.

So, we will see what the month of March brings....hopefully no more snow! Then onto April.....then I feel like I can breathe......I don't like the first three months of the year and always breathe a sigh of relief when they are's to most favourite time of the year!

I'll leave you with one more little picture of Juniper with her big brothers, William and Samuel....who I think are quite pleased with there new little sister....

~ Marie

Friday, January 9, 2015

The New Year......

We are standing , looking down a long strip ahead of's the calendar can see each month....some filled with awaiting activities.....some still wonder about each month.....what will be the exciting things, what will be the things that will bring you joy and pleasure, what will bring you stress, what will bring you grief....

You think about your 'loved ones' think about their lives and how their circumstances will affect them this coming year....more importantly, you think about how it will affect you.

When you are the matriarch of a family....doesn't that sound presumptuous and glorious, all at the same time? .....anyways, in simpler terms, when you are the mother of a large family, it really doesn't matter how old your children become, active you are in each of their find yourself still intertwined in their lives....some, whether you desire to be or not.

Of course, the positive things, the joyous don't mind being intertwined at all.....the other, ....the negative, stressful things'd rather not be, you'd rather hide out even start to wish that your trailer at your summer camp ground was winterized...then you could go and hide....not to be found until the latest crisis was averted and you could return to the calm. That is not life though, is it?

Life consists of the highs and lows, ( and I'm not talking about drug effects) ...I'm just musing about the good and the bad of life in general.

As you look at this long strip in front of you, you are trying to imagine the year before you, you try to prepare yourself for what is to come......some are already defined.....a new grand baby due to be born this month, an occasion that you've been looking forward to, have been praying about, for the last nine months!.......this is a birth with all the positivities, in your mind that should surround the birth of a child.....also a surprise birthday party for a good friend, a bridal shower next month, a stag and doe in the third month...I've never been to a stag and doe....I think it should be quite interesting to see what I've been missing all these years....that takes us to April...where at least two birthdays will be March there are three.....also, in April is Easter...the most holy of celebrations in the Christian calendar but to some, it's just a repeat of Christmas with gifts, new clothes and copious amounts of cheap ( not the cost but the quality) chocolate and candy.... me...and obviously not in the official sense, but only to me, April is the beginning of spring! To me, the first three months of the year are the ugliest months, the first quarter of the year is to be endured, in my mind. I detest them!

May...a month to watch your outside world coming to life...things turning green, flowers starting to bloom and in this year a family wedding...the culmination of much planning , the reason for the bridal shower and stag/doe in the doldrum months, all comes to a head, so to speak with a wonderful celebration of two people who have chosen to publicly commit their lives to each other.....definitely an occasion in looking down the strip of the year to look forward to! Plus...more birthdays......

June brings with it a huge surprise.....something that my husband has been planning for well over a year......the details can not be revealed at this protect the innocent....but it is grand! Don takes great delight in planning these things......I believe it's one of the ways that he shows our family the caring and commitment he has towards me, his wife and thus showing it to his family. You see, if he wasn't willing or cared to show it to me, then he doesn't care about the family as a whole, does he....he's showing our children just how important our relationship is to our family as a whole because without that commitment , I feel our family would flounder. Even , when Don and I are no longer here, our children will still remember the commitment that their mother and father had for each other, the joy that they feel in each other, and it will give them comfort that they did, and even though they may all go their separate ways...emotionally or physically.....they still have that solid base in their lives.

Onto the summer months, our youth, they were the carefree months....the months to laze about, go to the beach, have picnics..( although I'm not a picnic person) ...leave the rat race behind, so to speak......but they were the months to re-energize your body, mind and a days, people seemed to be just as busy...they are truly missing out!

All to soon, September appears....if you have school aged children in your lives, it's a month of new beginnings, getting back into routines....routine isn't all's like putting all the Christmas decor up at the beginning of the season, very happy to do so, but then when Christmas is done , you're all ready to pack it all away...why?.....routine....we really crave it...we like getting things back to normal...that's why some like September when things get back into the starts, lessons and activities get programs are tried creates a routine in our also contains more birthdays, as did July and August.....

October, .... October is starting the wind down of the year.....foliage after it displays it's beautiful colours, withers and dies......( can you tell that I'm not a 'fall' some the autumn season is their time.....I've never experienced those feelings...yes, for us Canadians, it does hold Thanksgiving...a reason for families to gather together to give thanks for what, varies with the could be a very shallow appreciation or it could be fairly deep....I think it's truly affected by what your life circumstance is at that moment.....perhaps what has transpired in the last three quarters of the year...yes, we have entered into the final quarter....we can be thankful for the superficial but the older we get, we really do allow our minds to really dig deeper, not just to appreciate the everyday, although those should not be minimized.

November is one of the huge birthday months in our family....not sure but I think it must have to do a lot with the depressing, cold month of March! We also start our Christmas preparations in earnest, what should we buy, what is our budget, what would so and so like.....will there be the Christmas drama of the previous years...already our mind starts rolling in angst but we carefully keep shoving it back, trying to concentrate on the positive and putting on 'the game face'.....let's face it...Christmas is not the holly jolly Christmas that Burl Ives sings about.....( I detest that song, by the way)..... But we 'soldier' on ....

As Christmas becomes closer in the month of December, we try to concentrate on the positive, the pure.....we rack our brains with trying to keep everyone happy and content.....which is a fallacy because how many people do you know that are actually happy and content , all the's impossible because...surprise! we are human.....but you persevere, knocking yourself out and in the meantime usually miss , not the 'true' meaning of Christmas, which everyone is striving for but taking the time to really figure out what it means for us and what we can do to achieve that that epiphany in our lives...not just on Christmas Day but on each and every day of this year and the years to follow.

And now, once again, we find ourselves staring down that long strip, in our minds....visualize a long strip of photography you see it , don't you.......look ahead on this long strip of the coming year and ask yourself.....what will I do with this year.....yes, it will hold special occasions just as this year of 2015 does.....but they haven't happened yet.....we have these plans with our finite minds, but sometimes plans change....will we be ready for them....or will we just 'wing' it....take it as they come.....I am a planner by nature , an organizer....not overtly OCD but I do like things planned isn't like the beginning of last year, we said good bye to a good man...a father, a grandfather but most of all a husband to my only sister. Would we have planned this out, ...of course not, but it came none the less.....our daughter , who lived on the streets became pregnant....would we have planned it , obviously not....she did but we did not....would we have planned, 29 weeks later to have to ask people to help us bury this wee grand daughter......absolutely not! But we did.....we had never been in charge of doing something like that before......
Another daughter started out the year in a psychotic break.....would we have planned that...for her or for us.....absolutely not!

There were good things that we were apart of, some we personally didn't plan but enjoyed......a thirteenth birthday celebration for our very first grandchild .....a surprise trip to Bermuda, a relaxing respite in Florida.....a quiet spring, summer, fall and winter with our daughter being mentally/emotionally stable......what a gift that was! ....and we pray every night that she continues to be so......
.......Friday's Off.....the greatest thing since sliced bread! Don and I able to plan day outings....little things to give us some alone time, just the two of us.....great and glorious times......I pray his company never stops Friday Offs! A body and mind need, no it craves, something to look forward to......what a blessing.

So, we look ahead to this year and once again we claim the word Hope as our word ....I mentioned to Don that we should be thinking of a new word for the very wise husband, looked at me and said.....'why?....I don't think we're finished with Hope yet'.....and as I thought about it, I realized he was right.....and I don't think that it's finished with us yet either......


~ Marie

Thursday, November 27, 2014

It's Been Awhile....

Yes, yes it has.

I have entered this season that is filled with swirling emotions....emotions that can cripple you or lift you up like you're sitting on top of a geyser.

My husband keeps telling me to can't let this control you, ....but it does.

For the last two years this holiday season has brought a complete change to our Maya....especially to my husband and to myself. Two years ago, on Christmas Eve day, Maya presented with her first psychotic break.....even the terminology strikes fear into your heart, you don't want to say it too loud because people stare and take a mental step you've just announced you have leprosy or the big news talk...Ebola.

Since then, she's had five more....all taking place in the fall/winter season...three in one, three in the other ......last January she started a new not anti psychotics but anti depressants.....she also takes numerous nutritional vitamins and supplements....every morning....and every morning....she has her energy light on for fifteen minutes.....every evening she takes her special yellow capsule plus a Benadryl to aid in her sleep. Every three months she gets a hormone injection...yes, I answer her is a form of birth control but that's not why you take take it to keep the hormone this illness , as well as seemingly being affected by the lack of sunlight is also affected by fluctuating hormone levels.

She keeps somewhat busy......she volunteers at the retirement home where my mother resides.....twice a week....she goes there and leads them in bingo, helps set and clears tables , pours tea and coffee....talks to the residents....I was there the other day when one of the residents greeted her with a smile and some joking banter....they like her there....she's a likeable kid....

Kid....she's not really a April she will be 23..... And she keeps pushing on....driving herself to her weekly guitar lesson, driving to the local ice rink where they've hired her to do the time keeping on a few games...they pay her, she's thrilled.

A week and a half ago, my mom had a fall at the retirement home...for a week ( after a visit to the emergency department, we thought that her ribs were just bruised...painful yes, but recoverable)...but the follow up appointment at her family doctor , a week later revealed a compression fracture in one of her vertebrae in her lower spine. Now we know why she can barely move!

A conference gathering between my older sister, husband and I, and my youngest brother and his wife....scheduled out a plan....a plan of who could be with help her....for the times we couldn't , they asked if Maya was mentioned that moms sister would pay for Maya to do this.....Maya was pleased to do that, so, a few afternoons a week , the plan is for her to be a companion to her grandmother....

This Christmas Eve we have a plan to change things up! Maya is afraid that Christmas Eve triggers her illness....usually every Christmas Eve we attend a service at the church...come home....have a story, have some prayer time...they hang their stockings and go to bed....this year...our plan is to go out for some supper...somewhere inexpensive....and then drive down to the waterfront to see all the Christmas light display....the stockings will have been hung weeks previous....when our tree goes up and is's still a plan in the making but I will do anything that I can think of to keep Maya mentally with us and get her through this Christmas season......anything.
Almost every night, my husband prays that Maya will stay healthy, every thot and prayer, that this year will be different.

So, there is a plan....whether it's a successful plan...obviously time will I sit and hand quilt a new baby quilt, I think and pray for this wee tiny grand daughter that we anticipate meeting around the end of January.....I also can't help but think of the tiny grand daughter we buried this last August and how she won't be spending her first Christmas with heart rejoices and is saddened at the same time!

I am grateful this season that so far, my husbands Crohn's disease is in remission.....I pray that it stays that way for a very long, long forever would be nice but the doctors would pat me on the head and say...nice dream Marie.....

We think ahead to next grand baby, new daughter in law....Sara and Paul have set their date for May, perhaps Maya will finally be able to get a 'real' job as she calls where she gets paid....oh, how she misses getting paid....a special holiday that hubby has been planning and saving for a year's top secret!

It's a year to look forward be we just have to get thru the next few months! ��

~ Marie

Location:It's been awhile....

Friday, October 24, 2014

The Swirling Thoughts....

As this work week draws to a close, we have been reminded just how fragile life moment it's here, smiling for the camera and ten minutes later, it's gone...snuffed out by a senseless act....I speak of course, of the young Corporal, the very young soldier....who was also,a father and a son,....whose life ebbed away as his body lay fallen , after two wounds were put into his chest by a on social media show him smiling for the camera , standing beside a pretty blonde, in a photo op just minutes before....his life ahead of him, stretched out to fulfil his accepted role as a son to his parents, a dad to his son, and possibly a husband to his girlfriend.

I've been lulled into a sense of complacency when it comes to my son being in the military....I blame that on the fact that in the six years, he's never been deployed, never been in battle....well, not an official one, just when he's out 'in the field' and they're practicing.....I'm sure this young Corporal's mother, also felt the same way...he was a reservist....not active in the military every day, mostly on weekends and maybe a few weeks until recently.....I'm sure that when she said goodbye to him, promised to look after his son, look after his dogs while he went on an assignment in Ottawa , that they all thought was a treat....standing guard at a memorial....a guard that had been assigned after a few daring teens urinated on it a few years ago....before that it only happened at Remembrance Day.....I'm sure that his mom didn't think it would be the last time she'd ever see that beautiful smile of her son.

In August, we were grandparents expecting two new grand babies in the coming was coming from our daughter....the other from our son and his wife...everything was going well, not necessarily with our daughter, the mom....but the babe was safe, we and growing ...kicking and moving....we visited our daughter on the Monday....she smiled as she rubbed her tummy ( as pregnant mothers do) and commented about how active she was....yes, a wee baby girl that daughter had already named Trinity....the next morning, not even twenty-four hours later...that little life was snuffed out after our daughter fell from a ninth floor balcony...90'...the consequence of domestic abuse..yes, that little life was silenced.....

People take these lives we are given for granted....we get lulled into that complacency.....we assume that life will follow the usual path of being born, growing up, becoming adults, taking on responsibilities that adults do, starting our own families, raising our children, becoming grand parents, retirement and then after living a good long life...then death...then death will come. These previously mentioned situations are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to how lives really don't go according to the plan in our heads. Circumstances change, accidents happen, horrible murders occur....we have no control over it happens in the space of a breath.

We think we'll be ready, but we never have our affairs in order, to say our good byes, we think that we'll have time to make things right....right with our family,right with our friends....right with God....obviously we don't always get that opportunity.

' Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapour that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.'

~ Marie

Friday, September 12, 2014

The Rollercoaster

So, since we buried little Trinity, I've kind of taken a step back from Emma and all her drama....I did try and take her to an appointment this past Monday to get her broken arm, when she didn't answer her door after many times of knocking, and waiting down in her lobby for an hour...I left.

Waited for her to contact me....she finally did, briefly on Wednesday night....

Yesterday, was suppose to be a nice day. My sister and I were going to check out this dress store in Hamilton for a dress for son Paul's wedding...yes, the hunt is on. We didn't have any success at this particular store, which was located uptown in the city. We decided that we'd try this hamburger place that everyone raves about.....

Just sat down there and ordered our drinks when my phone rang. It was daughter Maya, at home....the police had called our house looking for me because Emma's boyfriend had been arrested and she wanted me to come...

Sister and I thot we should go, so we told the waitress there was a family emergency and left. Maya called the police were bring Emma to our house....good grief and glory be.....there goes the neighbourhood ....not one but two police cars out front of my house in broad daylight! Bet that set the tongues a waggin'!

Sister and I arrived home....Emma wasn't forthcoming with very much info which bugged me....the cops just dumped her and her wheel chair ( which the boyfriend stole from the hospital) at my house and I didn't know what the heck was going on.

Of course, hubby was teaching and missed all the fun.

Then two women showed up from Victim Services ...they talked to Emma for about an hour...tried to get her to go to the shelter and not home, but in the end she refused and insisted that she goes home.

So, I took her.....meanwhile having pieced together that her and boyfriend went to the local mall , they got into an argument, he started becoming physical, beating on her, a girl in a wheelchair, so the cops were called and they hauled him off to jail for the night. They said there'd be a restraining order on him but I highly doubt that'll stop him from coming around.

Hubby came to her apartment on the way home from class...we both tried to talk to her...she just became hysterical, saying she needed to talk to a counsellor cause they know how to talk to people.

We left.

She left with us to go to the apartment below her where she knew she could get some weed. She needed something to help her sleep, she said.

Ya, this is our life.....don't ya love it?

~ Marie

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Somewhere Safe......

So, much has happened since I last wrote.....summer has turned into fall, not officially of course , but when you've had kids going off to school in September for thirty-five years, there is a certain mindset that summer has come to a conclusion on Labour Day weekend and school has begun. I've wondered, from time to time, if when we no longer have anyone going off to school the Tuesday after Labour Day whether I'll feel the you change it to the 22nd of September and hold onto those last few weeks of summer? Probably not......

This past summer, we built a new room downstairs....I use the word 'we' loosely as we didn't do the exact construction.....yes, hubby and I worked for weeks, sorting and purging and packing up the left overs to cart off to a storage locker. We needed to have everything cleared our in that area, the remaining area that didn't house bedrooms, bathroom , pantry, storage room, furnace and laundry....yes, you may have guessed that the remaining area wasn't huge in square footage, but we were desperate.....

You see, for the last ten years, at least , we've had a television in our bedroom....not very romantic you say...well, I suppose..( yes, I've read the articles ) but necessary.....the 'in house kids', ( as I call them) had taken over the living room and since they were all developmentally delayed to some degree, their television programming was....shall we say...somewhat immature and repetitive......if we wanted to watch any of our programs in the evening, you either sent them to their rooms which caused whining and wailing and gnashing of teeth...or you chose something that everyone could watch....which given the comprehension level of said in house kids, wasn't easy!

Our bedroom isn't large...not like you see on those Reno shows on tv, just enough space for a bed, two dressers, an occasional chair( that usually houses stuff that you can't find a place for, and a small cabinet that houses cd's, the cable box and the tv on top! Hubby and I must resort to watching tv while sitting on our bed....when you're a kid that's not difficult, in your twenties and thirties, well, okay....but get up in the 40, 50 and 60's......oh my, doesn't make for a comfortable evening! Since we've come to the conclusion that our in house kids, are never 'leaving the nest'.....( no available group home housing spaces) occurred to me that in ten years I'll be in my seventies ( yes, the horror of it all) and do I really want to be dealing with stiff and sore bones and numb derrière and lower back pain in our 70's and 80's!...I mean We still will but hopefully not from just watching tv!

So, the idea of a lounge, downstairs, in the remaining small space was born! Eldest son Ryan came down for the week....he demolished, he measured, he put up was a full week, to be sure.....hubby and Maya primed and painted......we moved the upstairs tv and cable box, the Wii game system , and DVDs downstairs.....we went to Ikea and purchased three occasional chairs and ottomans ....and voila! The Lounge was ready for the tv watching and game playing enjoyment of three young adults!

And.....hubby and I got our living room back......and it's been wonderful.

As in my last post, things were going okay.....we were helping Emma with the preparations for her baby coming, she moved out of the shelter and into her own apartment. Unfortunately, her abusive, gang involved boyfriend moved in with her. August 12th, dawned beautiful and indication of the horror that would occur that day when Emma for whatever reason, that hubby and I figure we'll never know, fell from the ninth floor balcony, that's 90'.....and at 29 weeks, our wee grand daughter could not survive such an impact, and moments after she was born via emergency c-section....she died....

Two weeks later we buried her in a tiny little plot in the same cemetery that my dad is buried in. It was a short service, attended by few.....the minister, now retired, that dedicated Emma all those years ago, came and said a few words , and it was done.

I stopped at her spot yesterday, I have to drive by the cemetery whenever I go into the next town...which is often.....I found tears running down my cheeks as I stared at this small rectangle of broken grass.....I found myself apologizing to her,....I'm her nana, I should have protected her....but I couldn't.....but now she was somewhere safe, somewhere that no one could hurt her ever again.

A lot of people like the fall season....I do not, I never have....I dislike Halloween, Thanksgiving is nice but a ton of work, and as I said before...I'm getting older....
The last two fall and winter season have brought us a terrible time with Maya and her emotional breakdowns.....we are praying and hoping that this season will be better, will be different but it's kind of like waiting for the other shoe to drop......

Hubby has three, yes three , evening teaching courses this term...which goes up til Christmas every week he's gone from 7 in the morning til anywhere between 9-10 in the evening, for Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday . These are particularity long days....filled with in house kids bickering, complaining and disobeying.....and apprehension of whether Maya will become ill again.
There are appointments ....doctors, dentists and social workers ( Maya is seeing one that can hopefully help her some coping skills to handle stress.

There is trying to find the time to get back up north to our trailer, to close it up for the winter, take down the tent and close up that season again til it re opens next May.

Second daughter, Lauren bought a sweet , wee pup last Sunday....the cutest little thing you ever saw....part Maltese, part Yorkshire terrier.....he's about the size of the end of the paw of one of my dogs! ...but he is, I'm NOT getting any ideas....

So, Fall may be special and wonderful to some people but for myself, no.
I enjoy the fall colours but after they disappear everything is just so barren and sad looking.....and then the snow will come...worse then last year they say...good grief.

There are things to look forward to though.....a new grand baby is due in January...we are very excited to welcome this new little son or daughter ( everyone is hoping daughter) to eldest son Ryan and wife Jennifer ....they have two beautiful boys but would dearly love to have a girl.....we shall see!

Then next May , number three son Paul is planning on marrying lovely should be a special occasion filled with family, friends and laughter and joy!

So, yes....some good things to look forward to...I think I should hang my hat on those and try to pull myself out of these doldrums!

After all, fall and winter can't last forever ( it'll only seem that way in the midst if it!) and we can remind ourselves to be grateful for each day, whether difficult or good.....

~ Marie