And If Not

commitment.....

2012-01-27T09:24:00.001-05:00

Good Morning Company Girls...and a grey day it is today in my little corner of the world....

It's been an interesting week....for the last few months we knew that eldest daughter and her family were scheduled to move from their house to a new house in the month of February,and now...since I last communicated with you , we found out that two more daughters are moving...yes, can you believe it? Last week second eldest daughter and her partner purchased their very first home...and yesterday I found out that Emma is moving to a place of her own on the first of February!! I see the coming month as one of excitement and upheaval, joy and tears, stress and exhilaration....it should be interesting...if hubby and I can handle it all!

I was forced this week, to give some serious thought to relationships...I was asked to come to our local Children's Aid office to talk about being a foster parent who adopted a few children.....when I was asked, I laughed...and laughed and laughed some more.....you see, things aren't going so well with some of my kids right now, so I at first thought...'I am the LAST person that you want to have come and talk to prospective adopted parents!'....then the social worker said to me...she knows what has been going on....'Marie, even if you are feeling inadequate right now, people need to know about your commitment....that is the most important thing right now'. So, I went....I was suppose to talk for an hour to an hour and a half....when the worker said the evening was done, I had been sharing for 2-1/2 hours....relationships and the complexities of the lives of our children....not hard to talk about is it...not hard to find enough to say...you can go on and on and on....the interweaving of feelings, the fine dancing on eggshells as you try to navigate the patterns of their lives.....

as a mom, you want to fix things...but you cant...it's not as simple as when they were little and they fell and scraped their knee and you kissed it all better...a kiss all better doesn't solve the problems anymore...the weight of the descension overwhelms you and falls on your shoulders like a heavy cloak....it feels like the weight of those coverings they lay on you to protect you in an exray....although this cloak doesn't protect you from harmful rays or bitterness and anger...you feel every jab, every barb....every thrust wearies you.....

you try to figure out these relationships because you feel that if you could just do that then it would be a start...a start to the healing that is required...unfortunately, you also realize that it is too big...much bigger than you, as a mere mortal can handle ...the intertwining threads of their lives remind you of those huge electrical boxes filled with multicolored wires that you couldn't possible figure out.

I read many blogs and one talked about all the different papers and charts that there is to organize your life...from menu planning to thot planning...yes even to organize your thots, your prayers your challenges, your goals....I said to my hubby that I couldn't possibly do that....right now, my mind reminds me of those snowstorm days...you know when you are driving and the snow is coming at your windshield...so many white spots coming at you at a speed you can barely take in...or, if you don't live where there is snow and thus find it difficult to visualize..then, outer space...and the space ship is traveling and all the stars are coming at it...you must have watched star trek at some time....well, that's how I feel right now....all the facets of my life are traveling at me and there is no way I could ever compartmentalize into all the many categories that are required to be organized....

okay...so I ramble on....but there must be a key...a key to unlock all of this...I just haven't discovered it...and maybe I never will this side of heaven....I'm sure God has the answer....at the sharing time the other night, one parent asked me 'what keeps you going...what keeps you going to the hospital in the middle of the night...or being willing to go and help them when they've treated you so badly'? and I think the answer is that you never know when you'll be able to undo the wiring, see each individual snowflake as it comes by....you never know when your simple touch, your love will be enough to break thru all the mess...and you'll see a smile, a genuine smile filled with joy that you can feel deep down in the depths of your heart. That you've finally been able to convince them, whether they be birth child or adopted, that you are their mom, that you care...that you aren't going anywhere until the Lord takes you home...and even at that time I'll still be praying for them from heaven...I will not stop.

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Back to Normal...Whatever Normal is....

2012-01-20T09:53:00.001-05:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Normal...have we ever figured out whatever normal really is? Whatever normal is for one is completely out the window for another.....for me...it's getting back into routine...the older I get the more my mind and body crave routine...sounds like I'm a stick-in-the mud, doesn't it? Well, I guess after living for over 60 years, being married for 38-1/2 of the years, giving birth to 3 children, adopting 7 children, having 7 grandchildren..and lest I forget ...having numerous dogs in the family ...7 I believe...good grief, I'm seeing a pattern!....anyways, routine is good, routine is normal for me.

So, after four weeks of having house guests, and Christmas, New Years, and such thrown in,..this was our first 'normal' week in the house! Hubby went back to teaching two nights in the week, thus making it long days for both him and me on Mondays and Wednesdays (he goes to his day job and then pushes on to his evening classes)...on those days I usually don't cook...I tell my older kids 'it's get your own supper' night and they are used to that and make themselves something they enjoy....Maya goes off to work at the local coffee shop and Ben and Megan go off to school. The house is sooooo quiet after 7:30am....the dogs settle down and go back to sleep and I usually spend some time reading on the computer...catching up with emails and blogs and the ever changing Facebook statuses .....have you ever noticed some of the statuses..do I really want to know that you cooked a turkey, and a roast, cleaned your whole house, made 5 dozen cookies for the bake sale AND did it all before 10:30 in the morning!! Maybe I'm just feeling guilty cause I'm just in my nightgown reading this but good grief! Anyways...no, I'm not normally in my nightclothes still at 10:30am...I exaggerate....but sometime these statuses just give you far too much information!

Yes, life is getting there ...had two appointments yesterday...one was with our Children's Aid office...(NO WE ARE NOT ADOPTING MORE...WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT).....they wanted to talk to me about going to an information night for foster parents wanting to adopt...they thought I might have some knowledge in that area....after much laughter, I agreed to do that....and then I was suppose to go for a massage in the afternoon but on the way home from the first appointment I ran into a freak snowstorm....good grief...I'm not sure just what is going on with winter in our area of Canada but it's really weird...so far we've had two minor snowfalls, including yesterdays and it's coming up to the end of January....the weather guy said last night that we'll lose this snow by Sunday! Now, personally, I'm not a snow person, I know,....people in Canada are portrayed as loving snow and cold but really....some of us prefer the milder temps...really...honest! Back to my massage appointment...that I ended up rescheduling when it took me forever to get home from the first appointment and when I slowed to take a corner my abs brakes kept coming on to prevent me from sliding...I thought...'okay, I'm not willing to end up in a ditch just to get a massage and in all likelihood, undo any benefits of the massage! So, I rescheduled for today....which is hubby's alternate Friday off...which up until last night he said he'd have to work it....but..last night he said he was taking it off...so, hubby's day off wont be anything spectacular- grocery shopping, massage, paint shopping...finally picking out colours for the office (the bedroom that used to be Maya's)...and then taking the kids to youth group this evening...a ho hum regular day.....

Oh, and I'm working on a quilt wall hanging for the grand girls new bedroom,...they don't know about it so don't tell....it has a lot of appliqué which I've never really done before but it's kinda cute...I'll have to take a pic when it's done....so, ya..off to a regular routine day.....hope you all have a good one!

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My Day..

2012-01-09T08:50:00.001-05:00

Good Morning...the sun is shining, hubby is 'at the gate', according to his text, at Buffalo airport waiting to board for his flight to Florida, Ben and Megan have left for school, Maya has crawled into bed ( after working her first night shift at Tim Horton's )..... And the dogs are sleeping...the house is quiet...I'm sitting here, contemplating my day....many things to do...tidy up from the weekend, put the quilting room in order cause little William should be sleeping in it tonight....eldest son Ryan is coming down, with his family, to join in the effort to get eldest daughter's house built so they can move in, five weeks from this Wednesday. Last week number three son helped building walls also....he said he enjoyed it....good thing he likes the cold....no heat on in the new house yet.....but number three son went back to the army, ( his regular job, he normally lives on base about five hours away from here)....which is good, cause them Maya could move back into the room he was using (which was hers, before army guy came home,) to make room for eldest son's family, to stay in her new room....confused yet? It's like musical rooms(chairs) around here! That's okay...we will survive!.....when Maya wakes up then I'll get the vacuuming accomplished.....sometime today, I'll get my quilting stuff gathered up cause tomorrow is quilting class! Yea!! It'll be good to see the ladies again. I have to try and find out today, just what is going on with Emma, our wayward daughter...she is suppose to be returning to the youth home today....if she behaved herself all weekend and came home for her curfew at the youth shelter(which is a different place than the youth home).... Haven't heard from her since last Thursday when she sent me some confusing texts....I sent her a text last night but she didn't respond. So, I guess i'll try the shelter and see if she's still there. It's a sunny day, and there are things to do, places to go, people to see...guess I'll get on with my day...have a good one!- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Happy New Year!

2012-01-06T09:54:00.001-05:00

Good Morning Company Girls! ...and a Happy New Year to one and all!

I have not posted for a few weeks....things have been rather confusing, busy and my poor brain has just been patiently waiting for my regular routine to return. The kids have been off school and they return on Monday....thank goodness...not that they've really been a problem...like for instance...it's after nine and they're still in bed and the house is quiet...I like quiet...it feeds my soul....but....because they are home I don't feel back into the regular routine yet. Three weeks ago, my army guy Paul, also came home for his Christmas leave....just in time to move into the room that Maya vacated....Paul has a girlfriend, Sara and he's been spending a lot of time with her...plus helping at eldest daughter's new house with the drywall install, so he really hasn't been here a lot. Trouble is..I really don't know when he'll show up and he wasn't too impressed when he came home for supper the other night, after working all day..in the cold (there isn't any heat on in the new house yet) and all I was serving for supper was soup and grilled cheese sandwiches! Oh well...

Our Christmas was just fine....all but two kids came home for Christmas dinner....I suppose this is the beginning of 'the sharing of the kids'...my sister has had to do it for years but I haven't really had to..I've been spoiled but I guess I'll get used to the new norm. Emma even came home for the day....she behaved herself just fine (but I really think she was 'on' something....just a little too subdued for my observations).

New Years Eve was quiet...have I mentioned that I like quiet.....hubby and I usually just spend it together...this year it was the first time that two of our kids were with us to watch the ball drop in Times Square....the next year we all travelled north for a little over an hour to visit hubby's mom for the afternoon...it was a lovely visit and his mom appreciated us coming.
This week, we had a visit from a half sib of four of our adopted kids...she was adopted into another family...they hadn't seen each other in a couple of years so they were all quite excited....we took pics but Paul declined to be included so it just shows the four of them...

So, next week...I was hoping for normal routine but I'll just have to keep hoping cause hubby flies down to Miami first thing Monday morn...of course...it's just business (as he keeps assuring me)....but it's a lot warmer than it is here, I keep telling him....he's only scheduled to be gone a couple of days, returning on Wednesday evening....so...we'll see how next week goes....maybe the following week will be 'normal'....now I'll try to post some pics..not sure where they'll end up in the post but you'll get the gist.

Lauren and Samuel

Honour and Verity

Paul and Sara

Emma and Lauren and
Lauren's boyfriend Ryan

Samuel and Afton

Eldest daughter's house

The Sibs...Megan, Katie (not mine) Maya and Ben..

Samuel and William in the matching outfits we bought them for Christmas...aren't they handsome!

My Christmas table...

Hubby and his youngest grand boys .....

Opening presents....

Visiting hubby's mom....

My hubby and what he does best...putting the babies to sleep...(although it's usually interesting to see who gets to sleep first!)

That's it! I wont bore you with anymore...a snapshot of my life for the last few weeks...have a great week!

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas....

2011-12-16T08:46:00.001-05:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Well, How are you all doin'? Things are just peachy around here...I'm waiting for my grand girlies to arrive for the day....eldest daughter called last night to see if I could take them while she took eldest grandson to Toronto for his special therapy. The lady that she had lined up to babysit wasn't able to do it....her kids were busy being sick....so, it should be an interesting day...Honour is 8, Verity is 6 and Afton is 3. They keep ya goin'!

Hubby and I have been working our fingers to the bone the last few weeks. Emma's old bedroom, is significantly larger than Maya's 8 x 9 space, so when Emma moved out we decided to move Maya down to that bedroom. First of all, we had to pack up Emma's remaining stuff....then we had to assess the damage...yes, you read correctly....it would seem that whenever Emma was angry, she took it out on the walls.....several holes from kicking and punching needed to be repaired. I got the inspiration that putting some nice white wainscoting around the perimeter of the room would look nice as well as cover up at least 3 of the holes...hubby agreed....so that's what we did. Since hubby has a very busy schedule, most of the work was done on the weekends. We repainted, put up the wainscoting, new trim and baseboard, a new door (ya, that was kinda wrecked up too)..and last night Maya spent her first night in the 'new' room. We'll see how her night was when she finally decides to roll out of bed this morning. Today her work shift is 2pm-10pm, so I'll let her sleep awhile. Now, Maya's old room will be turned into an office. Hubby is in sore need of one....teaching between 2-3 classes per semester and doing the church books, and our books...he has so many different binders and cases around here..all spread out in different locations...it will be good when they're all contained in one room! This little makeover....new paint and moving the desk from the family area..oh and the printer in there wont take place for a few weeks cause Paul is coming home! He needs a place to sleep while on leave, so he'll be in Maya's old room....it's kind of a good thing that we get this break cause hubby and I are a little weary .......

How is your Christmas shopping coming along? I have one son that I still have to buy for and stocking stuff...oh, and order a plant arrangement for my mother-in-law.....we have to remember to get a turkey this weekend..we tried at our grocery shopping last weekend but they didn't have the size we needed....we don't need as big a one cause there will be less people this Christmas..Emma says that she'll come for dinner but I'm not holding my breath....haven't heard anything from Corey, so I doubt he'll come...daughter Lauren and her boyfriend will be attending his family Christmas dinner...and my mom, who has been at my place the last few Christmases will be at my brother's house. I figure a 15 pounder should do.....hope somebody has that size tomorrow.......

Hubby has next week off and the kids go to school all week, til Friday, so I'm really looking forward to having some time with him next week....and we wont have to paint anything, or nail anything...yay! Now,..if we just had the money to go away for a few days.....oh, well.....I'm just grateful that the room is done...maybe we'll even have some time to decorate our tree! Poor tree...sat for two weeks without anything on it...absolutely bare....last Sunday hubby got the lights on, so it doesn't look dark and quite so forlorn....maybe this weekend we'll get the 10 or so rubbermaid tubs upstairs and get some decorations on it....although just the lights do look pretty.....:0)

I doubt I'll have time to be on next week but....in case that I'm not, I would like to wish all the other Company girls a wonderful Christmas...I want to thank all that read my blog throughout the year, who left lovely encouraging comments,..who prayed for me and my family, please don't stop...I'm afraid that Emma is on a slippery downward slope. Thank you so much.

Merry Christmas!

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A Week in the life of.....

2011-12-02T04:03:00.001-05:00

Good Morning Company Girls! It really is morning...the wee hours of....it's 2:57a.m. as I type...I can't sleep...too many things running around in my mind...have you had that happen? You wake up just for a quick run to the bathroom and before you can drift back off to sleep, your brain turns on and dong! ..you're awake...I first saw the time at 1:38 and have been tossing and turning ever since....I struggled with what to do...obviously try to go back to sleep....tried that for about an hour..obviously didn't work....thot about what I could do if I got up....I could work on the hand quilting of a quilt I'm doing...or I could finish cutting out the pieces of a new quilt....it's a big one...12 different materials...all cut in 1-3/4" strips before you cut them into the various lengths that you want....I've already been working on them a total of about 8 hours and still have 4 lengths of material left....or...could watch something on my ipad...with earphones as not to wake someone...or...I could come out to the living room and write this post...as I'm doing....

Last Saturday, I received a call from my quilting friend Carol....her husband has been in the hospital for the last month battling another form of his cancer...poor Dave has been battling it on and off for the last 8 years....they thot he was getting better..even talked about doing rehab with him, but his body couldn't take anymore and he passed away early that morning. Today I attended a memorial service for him....it was very hard...not only seeing my friend go thru this horrible time, but I will admit to feeling a strong emotional impact because this is the first funeral I've attended since my dad died. This service was also held at our church and they even closed with the song 'How Great ThouArt'...which was sung at dad's funeral. By the end I was a blubbering mess.

Earlier in the week, I went to the dentist...I was suppose to go on Thursday but because of the service I changed it to Tuesday. I was on my way there when the traffic slowed to a crawl, it continued on for awhile and then finally cleared. As I left the highway and got on the streets of the city, it slowed again...everyone was trying to get somewhere at the same time....I started to fuss..it was raining and I was concerned about being late and then being even later for quilt class after that. I pulled out my cell phone as we were crawling (I know...against the law around here) and called the dentist office to tell them that I was coming but delayed because of traffic. By the time I got there, I was a good 15 minutes late....I hate being late...I quickly parked on a main thoroughfare, hopped out of the van, ran across the street and into the dentist office....leaving my cell phone in the cup holder on the console in the van. Normally I always have it in my purse. Well, when I came out an hour later I was shocked to see that someone had smashed the divers side window in on my van and reached in an stolen my cell phone....there I stood, in the rain..disbelief allover my face. I reached for my cell in my purse and that's when I realized...'oh no, they not only destroyed my window, they took my phone and I couldn't even call hubby to come and save me.' I went into a nearby building and asked to use there phone...they were very kind and helpful as I was an emotional mess. Hubby came but it took close to an hour...he works a good distance away...I couldn't even drive the van as the drivers' seat was filled with shattered glass and I could only sit there and watch the rain come down, getting the interior all wet and listening to little bits of glass as they sporadically tinkled down from what was left of my window.

Hubby cleaned it up as best as he could and then he drove it home while I took his car. On the way home I stopped at my cell phone provider and was quite dismayed when I found out that they no longer make my phone...good grief I only got it 18 months ago...all they had were models that I find difficult to use (with my handicapped hands)..plus they said that I wasn't eligible for an upgrade yet so that would cost $80 plus the cost of a new phone. I've never paid separately for a new phone..they've always come with the plan...good grief, phones on their own are expensive! So, my mood was even worse by the time I got home...good grief....

I started checking everywhere to find a copy of the same phone that I had but to no avail. Then I was talking to daughter Lauren...she suggested Ebay...so I did...lo and behold they did have some....hubby agreed to me ordering it and now I just have to wait for it to come in the mail. The next day hubby took the van to work, he had already arranged with a car glass place to have a replacement window ready and during his lunch hour he took it in and got it all fixed up.

So...the bottom line is....$300 deductible that we had to pay to get the window fixed thru insurance and $100 for a new phone, (that I hope comes in the mail real soon)...that means $400 that we have to try and find this close to Christmas...not a pretty picture is it....tell me...why do people in our society of today have so little respect and regard for other people's belongings? Just because this person was walking by my van, obviously looking for stuff to steal (and my phone isn't even one of those expensive kind...not a blackberry or an iphone)....it wasn't random, obviously most people don't carry around instruments to break peoples windows with as a matter of course.....but...this person did...not only destroying my window and leaving the interior to get wrecked in the rain but taking my cell..with all my contacts, my calendar with all my appointments and pictures and videos that can't be replaced......why do people think it's alright to do this...what has our society become...very sad....after Joyces' comment on Facebook I realized that I was fortunate that they didn't take my van and destroyed it...I just know that our insurance wouldn't have covered the cost of a new van as nice as the one I have...and I had also been planning to take my Ipad into quilting to show the girls some pictures but at the last minute I didn't...so thankful cause they would have taken that too....

but...as I think of my friend Carol...all that she's been thru in the last month...heck in the last 8 years....and now what she has to look forward to in the coming time...her and her husband had just celebrated their 40th anniversary...I realize that I am blessed......after all...van windows and cell phones..they're just things...material possessions that will some day be a pile of rubble....but family.... relationships with those special people in your life...those can't be replaced.....they are what is important.....

...as we prepare for this Christmas season I hope that I will remember that it's not all the 'stuff' that goes on that is important but it is those relationships, especially with your family that really counts. I always told my kids as they were growing up...look at your brothers and sisters...they'll always be here for you...ya you may bicker and fight from time to time...and from time to time they may let you down, they may disappoint you, they may even anger you...but they are still your family, they'll always be here...friends come and go but family is always there....don't you forget it. As I think of the coming Christmas season, I think in particular of two of my kids who right now are wandering in the wilderness...Corey and Emma...both doing the life that they think they want...both systematically destroying their lives....please pray for my kids...especially those two.....one day I pray that they will also remember that family matters, that family is aways there...no matter what.

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Today....

2011-11-12T09:28:00.001-05:00

Today is my sixty-first birthday.....that sounds so very old....but I really don't feel that old, in my heart...but my body has a completely different age! My body feels old as it struggles to keep up...for instance, yesterday I did the vacuuming ....something I've done prit near all my life...my mom started me doing it when I was around ten...the living room had to be thoroughly cleaned every Saturday....that was my job....plus cleaning the bathroom...there was just one small one...for six of us...how did we ever survive....anyways..back to yesterday....I knew we were going away overnite, and I knew that I didn't want to come home today and do it on my birthday....so there I was, yesterday afternoon...vacuuming. It's a job that takes a good hour..by the time you do the floors and then the carpets. When I was done, I was fatigued, very warm and in need of a sit down and a cup of cool water. Years ago, I would have gone on to do the dusting, tidy everything and leave the room sparkling...then move on to the next job! Alas, life is different...something's you have to accept....the cleaning will still be there tomorrow..

But...61....at the risk of sounding maudlin ....I imagine if the good lord gives me a full life that this means I'm about 3/4's thru.....just imagine.....in thinking back on my life...just what have I accomplished in my own little quiet corner of the world...hmmmm..... It does give one pause to stop and reflect....if I had things to do over what , if anything, would I have done differently...or, on the other hand, is there any point to thinking that or do we just look forward, with purpose and choose just how we would like the remaining 1/4 to pan out?

Things to think about as I ponder the day and anticipate a lovely lunch at an old mill with my hubby....have a lovely day!

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Emma

2011-11-08T08:22:00.001-05:00

Today is Emma's eighteenth birthday. Truth be told I've been waiting for this day for 90 weeks.... It was around that time that Emma became very difficult if not impossible to live with....someone with some legalease told us that she could do as she wanted basically but we were legally responsible for her actions until she was 18.

Today her birthday is bittersweet because 12 days ago Emma forced our hand and we took her into the shelter in the city to live. My only experience with shelters up to this point had been what i'd seen on t.v. ,......big huge rooms with cots set up.....this shelter is very different. It's run by Good Shepherd ministries....a local organization and it's specifically for youth. The building is a huge house and Emma must share a room with a couple of other girls. They provide food, laundry facilities, television and computers in a library. They even have a curfew.

In the last week that Emma lived with us, we had two meetings with the mental health clinician at the shelter...Emma included....in the meetings we agreed to give her a do over for her curfew...this clinician had two weeks previously set up a curfew schedule of 4 days at 8:30 pm, ( like the police had suggested after she had stayed out all night) and then the 5th night it would be 10 pm. In the following two weeks she never was able to accomplish that and many times she also came home reeking of cigarettes and pot. The day we all agreed to the do over Emma returned home at 11:45pm....obviously she had no intention of doing the do over. The week went downhill from there resulting with me packing her stuff and hubby taking her in to the shelter. Of course she was furious with us...but she went, refusing to speak. I don't think she really thot we'd actually go thru with it. Anyways, she's there....and as I said, it's bittersweet because this is her eighteenth...a birthday that all teens just wait for...( although in actuality I guess 19 might be more important in Ontario because that is the legal drinking age).....I feel somewhat sad this morning, thinking that we really can't have a proper birthday celebration.

Yesterday morning I called into the shelter to see how she was doing...I talked to a support worker and except for going AWOL two nights last week she's been coming in on time and no major behavior problems. Of course they're not aware that she's been stealing clothes from a local store like I know, or that she's been drinking and doing drugs....and 'having relations'......but I know, a mother finds out these things, a mother knows...I knew when my other kids were doing it and I know when Emma is.....I know. It saddens my heart to know that she is systematically destroying herself. The shelter is trying to get her into a youth home that is a little more like home...but they don't have a female spot yet.

The shelter people must have suggested that she call me....and surprise, surprise...she did...we spoke briefly, I asked if she had plans for her birthday. She said no...I asked if she'd like to go out for some supper...she said yes. I was surprised that she agreed....although the cynical side of me wonders if she'll stand me up...just to 'teach me a lesson'.....

I don't know how things are going to end up for Emma, I pray that she starts making some good choices...that she gets off this 'suicide' mission.

I pray that she has a Happy Birthday.

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Have you met my son, the doctor?

2011-11-04T08:44:00.001-04:00

Once again, haven't posted for a few weeks but I was determined to post with good news...so here it is!

This is my eldest son, Ryan....tomorrow he is scheduled to graduate with his doctorate in theology ...... Dr. Ryan Wettlaufer....isn't that fabulous! After about 15 years of post secondary education...he's finally done!

It has been a very long journey...in the beginning hubby and I, and some of our kids drove Ryan and his best friend James, out to Briarcrest College, in Sakatchewan to begin 4 years of schooling for his B.A., then we drove him to a little town outside of Boston, to work on his M.A. At Gordon Conwell, two years after that he got married and started his work on his Ph.D. at a college affiliated with the university of Toronto, back up here in Canada....if nothing else our kids get us traveling!

The last number of years have been very long....for Ryan...for his wife Jennifer...and for the rest of us , his family, as we have supported, encouraged and prayed that he would have the success and endurance to finish the race. Over the years Ryan has had to take many different jobs to support his family, to provide for them, especially as it grew to include William and Samuel, their sons. Right now he's been working with a local contractor, building houses...he's learned so much....I don't think there's anything that he can't build or fix...just a couple of weekends ago hubby and Ryan went to our trailer and ripped up the rotten flooring and replaced it with new. Now I know that hubby is capable but his strength is in numbers...he is an accountant...but knowing he had his son beside him to help with the job gave him the confidence to get the job done...and they did a great job!

There have been many times I have felt great pride in all my children...whether it be graduations from high school,college, or the military, or overcoming a difficult life experience....all the different aspects of their lives that have shaped them into the people they are today.....people that we are glad to say....'ya, they're our kids....ya, we were crazy to have nine of them...but we couldn't imagine what our life would have been like without them'......well, maybe a little quieter and without as much drama....

But tomorrow, it's Ryan's day....he's worked hard and long for it.....we are not only proud of his academic accomplishments but we are proud of the man he has become....a husband, a father, a carpenter (just like his papa), ....and a good son.

Well done.....we will watch with joy in our hearts and probably tears running down our cheeks as you walk across the stage tomorrow to claim your prize.....well done!

The pic above is him modeling his cap and gown that he must wear tomorrow...in true mother fashion, I told him that he'd better shave tomorrow!

2011-10-24T08:05:00.001-04:00

These are our good friends Dave and Anne.....we first met around eleven or twelve years ago where we camp every summer...a camp that is called Fairhavens Bible Conference grounds.....they have their trailer permanently there also. Dave and Anne are around the same age as hubby and I ...they were also foster parents for a lot of years, just as we were, they have biological children and many adopted kids, just as we do......we have many things in common....there aren't very many couples that can truly relate to what we are going thru with our lifestyle and kids....they are going thru the same thing....it's truly a wonderful friendship.

Last week Dave was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of prostrate cancer.....they'll be going thru more testing...bone scan and cat scan to see if it has spread....please pray that it hasn't ...please pray that it is contained and the doctors can remove ALL of it....

Thanks.

Location:Our Friends

Mothering

2011-10-21T10:11:00.001-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Ya, it's me again...I haven't fallen off the face of the earth just yet...but somedays I wish I could....

Pretty well all of my married life I've been a mom.....we were married in '73 and eldest daughter was born in '74.....and so it started.....in '80, my brother and sister- in-law asked me to look after their little guy, 3 months old.....so every work day til he was 18 months old (and mom had the next babe) little Daniel was part of our lives....and I became his 'other' mom......in '83 a wee little girl came into our home...her name was Tanya and her mom was a single mom with a lot of problems....every few weeks we'd get a call from the mom...and out Tanya would come...sometimes in the middle of the night, delivered by a good friend....the first time she came I didn't even have a place for her to sleep...we cleared out hubby's dresser drawer, lined it with soft blankets and put her in it....every time Tanya came she looked pale and worried..within a couple of days her cheeks were rosy and her eyes sparkling. It was also at this time that I was introduced to a woman who was a foster parent. Hubby and I decided that if we could help other kids like Tanya then maybe we should become a foster parent.....and we did. That started a stretch of 19 years of fostering approximately 25 kids....some just for a few weeks...some for years.....I learned that there were all different kinds of mothers out there....some to be admired and some gave you nightmares .....some were only thinking of themselves, never putting their childrens' needs before their own....spending their welfare cheques on everything but their children. It opened up our eyes to a whole different world out there.

If you've read my blog at all in the past then you already know that we adopted 7 of the 25 that came through the front door. Every child was a different circumstance....two were new born, one had been in 4 other foster homes before he came to us...and he was 2-1/2 years old! One was almost 4 and another was abandoned at age 3.....one turned 7 the day before she came and one came on her 10th birthday.....we never went into fostering with the idea of adopting....but it does get into the back of your mind when you see these little kids , and they become part of your home, your family...your heart....

It doesn't matter what we do...or they do...or don't do....they are still your kids....you're still their mom.....whether they keep in touch with you all the time....every once in awhile or only in emergency (like when the hospital calls in the middle of the night saying your kid is there). The other night we had a horrible night with Emma.....verbal and physical abuse...no, not from us, from her ..to us....later after she was in bed, I went into speak to her...as I was leaving her, I stroked the side of her face...wondering what happened to that little girl that came when she was just seven, wondering what her future would hold for her.....

I came out of the room and one of the other kids said to me....why...why did you do that...after what she did.....I said ...what, do what....she said....talk to her and stroke the side of her face.....

......because...no matter what she does...I'm still her mother...she's still my daughter....just like the others....no matter what they do....

You start this mothering journey all wide eye and innocent...never dreaming that the hard days will be so hard....that the hurt sometimes will be more than you can bear....you just see this tiny baby...this little child....they burrow into your heart and never leave....it doesn't matter whether you personally gave birth to them or some other woman did....

I've been a mom for thirty-seven years....yes, I've done other things....a statistical typist, invigilator, Creative Circle demonstrator(needlework), a Sunday school teacher and director..a VBS director for 10 years, a foster parent, a babysitter, a fundraiser, ...many positions and some I know i've forgotten ....but I'll never stop being a mom...even though there are days when I don't want to be...when I want to run away from home and if I hear 'mom' called one more time ( especially through the bathroom door) I'll scream.....
.......it's the position you never walk away from, you never get a day off from....that you never stop being.....a mom....plain and simple.

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It's Been Awhile......

2011-09-30T22:11:00.001-04:00

Since I have posted anything....life has been unbelievingly exhausting the last few weeks.....but let me share with you something so beautiful, so wonderful.....it just brightens your whole day and makes you forget all the yuckies that you encounter just too many times in one day.....this is Samuel's very first genuine smile....

Isn't it wonderful?.....Doesn't it just make you smile yourself?

Those are the special moments that you just have to hold onto....when the world around you is just crashing...and no one has any answers....you just have to look at little Samuel and just breathe....

Some other things...our eldest daughter and her husband have sold their house and hopefully in the next few weeks they'll be able the break ground on their new house!

Number two....the quilting group at our church, a group that I'm proud to say I am part of....we held a fundraiser ..a fundraiser to help our grandson get enough money to help pay for some very special therapy that will hopefully help with his speech therapy...we raised just over $5000!!!

Number three...my grandson, the same one featured in the last paragraph has made a video for a Kraft peanut butter contest. The winner wins $10,000!!!! If they had won my daughter had wanted to use the winnings to help her son (my grandson) to get the therapy he needs...but since our fundraiser was able to do that and my grandson has enough for his special therapy, my daughter decided that another little girl named Esme....who really needs some very expensive therapy for autism could really benefit from having this prize money to pay for her therapy...it costs a lot of money but it's really good...I think it's thru the Sonrise Foundation....anyways, you can go on the website and vote for my grandson's video...it's called Nightraider.....please do that...you can vote everyday...please help Esme to get her special therapy.....the link is www.kraftpeanutbutter.com/en/contest/gallery/107/
...."please vote EVERYDAY..".we need Jairus' video...Nightraider to win...it only takes a few moments each day...and even if you have multiple computers, iPad or blackberry/iPhone...you can vote several times by going on each electronic...please help a little girl with autism...she's also legally blind and suffers from seizures.

Number four...daughter Maya got a job...up here in Canada there is a well known donut coffee shop called Tim Horton's...she got a job there...she has her very first shift tomorrow! This mama is very happy about it all!

These good things are the things to try and focus on...they kind of help when you think about the frustrating battles with Emma....

...the fact that she comes home smelling high and of cigarettes...
...the fact that she starts a co-op job from school but only shows up to it 2 out of 6 days....they let her go
....the fact that she went to school one morning and we didn't see her til the next morning...at school...when I went to talk to her...to see if she was still alive....
....the fact that I had to finally say to her that we were done...that her dad and I couldn't do this anymore....(either can her sisters and brother who are still at home)
....the fact that I told her that if she wanted to obey the rules of the house that she could come home
....the fact that after we finally thot we were done, we really weren't...when the police call you in the middle of the night to ask if they can bring her home...

....the fact that she's still coming home after curfew but is now telling us lie after lie to try and convince us that she had a legitimate reason for being late...

......the fact that we've been parents for 37 years and we've heard all the lies and we believe none of them

....the fact that one Saturday night..when we weren't wondering about Emma that we get a call...our son who is an alcoholic..got in a fight and was at the hospital with is face slashed....another midnight run to the hospital....

So......scroll back up to the top..take a good long look at that smile...isn't that the most wonderful smile you've ever seen....

Please vote for Nightraider.....every day...please....help Esme....you don't have to give money...just a click...everyday til the contest is done...please.

....and so it goes on.....

2011-09-09T08:21:00.001-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

So...it's been an interesting week this first week back at school.....can I leave home now? Oh, the drama.....

Last weekend was unbelievable....a roller coaster...well, maybe more like a drop tower of emotions...in a nut shell....on friday night it was confirmed that Emma indeed has been going out her bedroom window after hubby and I go to bed quite regularly....(I actually waited in her room for her to come back....from 2-3:15am).... Then, after we talked to her about it and then sent her to bed she took an overdose of megan's ADHD medication....rushed her to the hospital...spent the next 15 hours there while they neutralized the meds and had her see social workers and psychiatrists......came home and the next day hubby and I had to head up north to bring Maya home from her summer camp job....spent a lovely overnite in a hotel....went on the next day ..picked up Maya...then went onto Parry Sound to see our youngest grandkids and their parents....poor parents....wee Samuel has developed colic.....parents are already soooo sleep deprived that they are having difficulty functioning......oh, I remember those days so well...the nightmare that never seems to end..( now we just have the teen version)....the fun just keeps coming people!

Tuesday, school started...the coldest back to school day I think I've ever experience.....it's like over night, summer left!

Emma continued on her merry path.....coming home after curfew two nights in a row, going to a store and stealing some clothes ( she keeps doing this...one day I hope someone catches her). Constantly lying, Threatening to either kill herself or move out....

Maya had been giving us a hard time....she needs to get a job,....so far, she hasn't made any attempts, spending all day long watching movies and tv shows on YouTube....we keep telling her she is an adult now but she's resisting....I guess her teen years are a more comfortable place to be right now..so that's a battle we don't need....

Megan and Ben are back in the swing of things in their special needs classroom...this is the last for Ben...he should graduate next June...special needs kids can stay in school til their 21....which he'll be next march.....Emma should also graduate since she only needs the credits from this semester to graduate....this is her second year at grade 12, which isn't unusual in Ontario....a good amount of kids do it in two years...makes you wonder why they thot it was such brilliant idea to do away with grade 13!

Anyways, today I must drive to my chiropractor and pick up some digestive pills...yes, I know what you are thinking....it's not a wonder that this old woman needs help with her digestion!

Then come home and this afternoon pick up two grand girlies from an art class cause their mama is tied up at a teacher's meeting to bring teacher up to speed about how our oldest grandson functions.....Jairus is non verbal and delayed by a few years and once again the school and school board have cut his education assistance even more...now it's one third day, every other day...and they're insisting he takes French....French!! The poor guy is having a hard enough time with English! So, I'll get my grand girls, come home and make supper for 8 people...son Paul is going back to the army base after his summer leave and him and his girl Sara, will be here for supper. Than the kids have been yammering about going to youth group tonight...not real sure if they'll get there or not...all depends if hubby and I can find the energy after the week we've had...and so life in this household as it is, moves on.....leave you with a couple of pictures....sweet Samuel and the kids first day back to school pic...good grief...just thot...next September it should just be Megan in the pic.....yes!...things are moving along aren't they?

Have a good one ladies!

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The Last Week of Summer

2011-09-02T08:59:00.001-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Ah yes....I'm very well aware that summer doesn't officially end for a couple of more weeks...but...I'm still a mom of kids going back to school this Tuesday and to this mom, summer is done this weekend....I've often wondered when I don't have kids going 'back to school' whether I'll finally be able to change my thinking..I don't know ...it has been over 30 years of sending kids 'back to school'...time will tell I guess.

I'm looking forward to getting back into the routine again...of having my days to myself...except for the never-ending appointments with the kids.....it will be nice to have the kids actually doing something with their days instead of staring, open mouthed at the television!

Maya comes back home on Monday! In the last year she's been home two months....I think there will be some adjustments to be made...on all our parts...I spent all day last saturday getting her room ready....Maya is a hoarder...that really is an ugly name isn't it? Let's say that she just likes to keep things....everything.....I was ruthless and I really hope she doesn't get upset with me....maybe she won't notice the tag from a pair of work gloves...old candy canes....valentine cards...
cards of all sorts....running shoes that were worn to death....a plethora of unmatched socks with gigantic holes in them....school reports that she handed in 3-4 years ago....and the list goes on....and she has the smallest room in the house...about 8 x 9......so, her room is definitely cleaner than when she left....someone said I should take a picture cause when she returns, with all her stuff it probably won't look like that again! I hope..that it will be good to have her home....she really is a pretty good kid...with a smile that lights up her whole face....we'll see how next week goes.

The grandkids are suppose to be coming and staying overnite tonight....their mom and dad have to travel to a city a couple of hours away first thing in the morning so, they will stay with us...it's actually a pretty good trade cause hubby had some Marriott hotel points saved up so instead of spending Monday going up north to get Maya and coming back on the same day....we plan on leaving on Sunday, going to a town not too far away from Maya...staying the night...going to pick her up on Monday...then travel to Parry Sound,..another hour away...Maya hasn't seen new little Samuel yet...and she's dying to...Maya loves the babies....then....we'll make the 3 hour trek back home....that will be much, much longer since it's the end of the holiday weekend and EVERYONE will be coming down from up north....it's safe to say that it will most definitely take longer than the three hours! All this to say.....daughter and family will stay at our house Sunday night...to keep an eye on our teens and dogs in a trade off to us looking after their kids tonight and tomorrow....sounds good, right?

That's about all for now.....Emma was up to her usual tricks this week...but you really don't want to hear about that..suffice to say..if your a praying person that we could really use some!

Take care and have a lovely long weekend!

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2011-08-26T08:30:00.001-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

So, I've been back home for almost a week now. It's been a quiet one, well besides the usual junk that Emma hands out. Somedays she's just been acting very weird...only speaking when she absolutely needs to and when she does in an extremely quiet voice, barely above a whisper. She stays in bed every day til 3 pm. And then gets up to go to her friend's house, til 9 pm....except for one night when she kept sending me text messages asking to stay overnight. My phone was off, it was charging. Instead of coming home when she didn't receive a reply she stayed past her curfew. Finally, when I turned my phone on, I sent her one back, telling her to please come home now....she took her time and sauntered in at 11 pm..a half an hour later. We spoke....or rather I spoke....she sat and stared at me like a zombie. I told her there would be a consequence for her action. She asked what...I told her that i'd tell her the next day ( I didn't need her going to her room and cutting just because she was upset over the consequence). I did entertain the idea of not letting her go to her friends the next day...but that would be like shooting myself in the foot.....so the next day I told her that because she chose to come home two hours late that tonight she must come home two hours early...amazingly that was accepted without weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth! She had a few other things she did, but I've mentioned enough......I really do love Emma and I care what happens to her but she's really pushing the limits.....

This week I spent a couple of days emptying my fiction book shelf, cataloguing and entering their ISBN's onto a computer program called Readerware....it would have been easier with a scanner, but I don't own one....and some of my books are so old that I had to individually google some books to get their numbers. So, after two days of that...and dealing with all the dust.....I'm embarrassed to say, some books hadn't moved in 3 years and thus hadn't been dusted....but 404 books later...my fiction books are done! Now to get the energy to do the non-fiction...some of those are still packed away since our Reno 5 years ago...I think I'll sort through and purge some of those....after all, if I've done without for 5 years I imagine there are some that I don't need anymore! My fiction ones are a different story....there's like old friends...some even hrad my maiden name in the flyleaf....and I've been married 37 years! Good friends for sure!

Had a few conversations with DIL Jenn this week....Samuel is doing well, gaining weight...although not letting her get much sleep...which we all know is compounded by having an active toddler in the house...and William is ACTIVE! He's an extremely smart little boy and is not content to let the world come to him! I wish I could still be up there but hubby really needed my help at home. He's not been well for over a month now...has been to the doctor's twice.....since iVe been home I've been plying him with vitamins and other pills my chiropractor has me on for healthy digestive system...he grumbles and complains about taking them but I think he's starting to feel better....he says he just needed me home...sweet talker, he is....
I miss my boys! But glad to be back with this one....

My hubby...he's a keeper.....

William...

Don and William...

On our walk to the beach....

William....

THE most comfy position for Samuel....

- son ryan and his son...............Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

My week in Parry Sound....

2011-08-19T14:54:00.001-04:00

Good Afternoon Company Girls! I was a little busy going to the beach with daughter-in-law, Jenn and grandsons William and Samuel to post this morning but everyone is napping at the moment so here's my chance!

It's been a very good week, albeit a little tiring....okay, really...I'm 60......what do you want from me....I do realize just why the good Lord made our bodies to NOT reproduce at this age....good grief....toddlers and new borns can wear you out!

Samuel has been a very good baby....so far.....I think Ryan and Jenn are waiting for the other shoe to drop, as the saying goes. He sleeps well and is even content to just lie in his bassinet when he's awake. Once Jenn got him staying awake long enough to nurse, he started to do very well at that too.

William , the explorer,...always on the go....tries hard to be a good big brother...bringing him his blanket when he needed to sleep...or a book to read....unfortunately Samuel didn't always appreciate his thoughtfulness or exuberance with which William presented his gifts!
I will be glad to get home to be with my hubby again but I will miss these little guys. A couple of mornings William and I would go down to the bay to see the tugboats at the pier.....the weather was perfect and we had some special times....even though Parry Sound is a very hilly place...everywhere you walk there are hills to go up and down so my leg muscles got a work out as well as my pitiful arm muscles pushing the stroller....man, I'm out of shape!

Now, if I can do this again, I'll try to put some pictures up....

Samuel.....and William

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2011-08-12T08:57:00.001-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

What a week it's been in the family! Such exciting goings on....and they're just wonderful!

You may already know that our grandson was born on Tuesday afternoon, after 22 hours of labour! Yes, you read correctly....a very long time.....and the poor wee guy has been making up for it ever since....he's being a little bit of a concern because all he wants to do is sleep...which in one way is nice because mama gets some rest but in another way a very much a concern because he would rather sleep than eat! It's hard getting his breastfeeding established if he doesn't have the energy to do it!

My son and his wife live in a town a little over three hours away and DIL was being induced first thing Monday morning so we got on the road by 9 am. They hadn't induced by IV drip but rather using some gel, so she was waiting at home for things to get happening. Her and I went on a long walk in the afternoon and there was some minor activity but not a lot to speak of. At about 4pm they went back to the hospital to have more gel in and ended up staying there because there were some contractions, although irregular. After we had some supper, hubby and I and DIL's mom, Deb went to the hospital. We spent the evening as the contractions increased but by 10pm they still weren't accomplishing a lot. I'm saying all this to explain that hubby ended up going with son to get William from the people that were looking after him and then hubby stayed with William while son, Deb and I spent the night with laboring DIL. It was a very long night....we were hoping for a babe by morning but he really didn't cooperate. By this time DIL was exhausted and the doctor came and broke her water. The contractions picked up in intensity but because of her extreme exhaustion she needed pain medication and an epidural was put in. This allowed her to get some much needed rest to do the work that was needed to get the babe out. Unfortunately the babe didn't care for the epidural and showed it by decelerated heart rate during contractions...who knew that would happen....I guess some babes have this reaction, but we had no idea that it would. They monitored carefully and thankfully after two hours of the Medication they let it wear off so she could push.

So, it was some drama and some excitement......I don't remember the last time I stayed up all night....oh yes, I think it was when our very first grandson was born! Hopefully little Samuel wakes up enough very soon to start feeding properly and stop stressing everyone out...about that anyways...I'm sure there will be other things over the years....

On to the other excitement...you may remember a few months ago, in April I told you about son Paul re-enlisting in Canadian army....then he went to New Brunswick for artillery training. Today is his graduation from this training. His girlfriend Sara is down there to witness this prestigious ceremony, with our video camera and her mom's digital camera so I hope she gets a lot of pics since we couldn't be there. We are really proud of Paul..he has a 'good head on his shoulders' and is becoming a man of integrity....his papa would have been very proud, as are we. After his grad, he and Sara and another guy will drive back to Ontario where he will report to his new home, Pettawawa....down near Ottawa.

Tomorrow, the plan is that we drive back up to Parry Sound so that I can stay and help with the new babe and 20 month old William (the Explorer)...on the way we will stop in at the Baptist camp that Maya is working at, because this week she called and said she is getting baptized ! This is a big step for Maya and we are pleased that she has decided, all on her own, that she wants to do this. The only thing that she is sad about she says, is that her papa won't be there. You may remember that my dad passed away a year ago May and it's had a profound effect on Maya,...several times over the past year she has become quite sad and emotional that her papa is no longer here.

So, that is our week.....told you there was lots going on!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.....I'm anticipating a tiring but wonderful week getting to know Samuel and enjoying William...I hope you all experience God's blessing this week in your lives. Take care!

Now, I'll try to post some pics but don't know where they'll be in the post or how they'll turn out so bear with me.....

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad. Samuel

William...........

Maya....

Paul and Sara at his swearing in when enlisted...

Ryan and Jennifer and little Samuel....

Oh my goodness, I think I did it....wow!

More pictures of Samuel....

2011-08-10T18:11:00.001-04:00

My son Ryan and his wife Jennifer admiring God's handiwork!

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Location:James St,Parry Sound,Canada

Samuel has arrived!

2011-08-10T18:05:00.001-04:00

Our new grandson, Samuel Don,...born yesterday at the hospital in Parry Sound, Ontario.

Isn't he beautiful?

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Life...as I know it....

2011-07-29T08:30:00.000-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Sometimes when I write that I hear that comedian, whose name has left my memory banks at the moment declaring 'good morning Vietnam!'.....just a thot....

Well, here in Canada this weekend, it's a holiday weekend! Yay for three day weekends...not that we're going anywhere....we don't have the money to put the dogs in the kennel. Sometimes, I will admit that it's a pain in the butt...or rather the wallet,...to have dogs....kennel costs are exorbitant! I could go to the trailer on my own, of course, with my kids....not sure I want to do that with Emma , although she does seem to pick up unsavouries wherever she goes! When we came home from the trailer a couple of weeks ago, she went for a loooong walk and met a new friend! Now, before one gets to excited about a new friend, you have to know Emma....put Emma into a room just packed with teens and Emma will zoom in on the grodiest ones and act like they're THE most wonderful new friends in the whole world. I have learned to be skeptical . So,.....now she has a new friend....they have become fast and furious very quickly...already she has slept over twice...and when she goes to her house she's there for hours and hours....having fun, when I ask....my skeptical brain..always on high alert when it comes to Emma...just has to think....What the Pete are they finding that's so much fun...I think the worst and justifiably so......part of me cares, part of me wants to go there and see what they are doing....the other part is relieved that she's out of the house for a few hours...and if she's drinking, smoking and drugging...then so be it.....I've fought the battle long enough.....sounds horrible doesn't it....to hear a mom admit that...but I'm weary....

So, Ben did well with his minor surgery this week and so that just leaves Megan getting her braces off next Wednesday and baby wett being born.....no..that's not a typo...our last name starts with the letters Wett so it's just easier to shorten it to this for this circumstance. Other than that...I have nothing planned....no more appointments....yeah!

Last weekend we celebrated megan's sixteenth birthday....I jokingly asked her how it felt...she said, in all seriousness...that it felt different....okay, I didn't even pursue that answer.....Paul's girlfriend came and got our video camera to tape Paul's grad from artillery training on the 12th of august. Looking forward to seeing that tape!

Hoping to get some cleanup done around the house this weekend...it should be a quiet one.....hopefully....unless grand baby decides he wants out....or Emma decides to go for another long walk......good grief....

Have a good one ladies!
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Summertime....

2011-07-22T15:48:00.004-04:00

Good Afternoon Company Girls!!

My goodness...where to begin...it's been so long since I posted my blog that it's hard to know just what to talk about!

Well, we're well into summer aren't we....temperatures in southern Ontario have been stifling. Yesterday it was over 40 degrees Celsius...which is over 100...very hot....and you all thought Canada is a cold country!

Three weeks ago we went up to the trailer for a couple of weeks....the first week it was just Don and I and the kids ..that was a trial since Emma didn't behave herself....we even had a set of parents come to us to 'gently inform' us of her inappropriate behaviour. They meant well, and were understanding about it but..it was still hard to take. The second week we had daughter-in-law Jennifer and grandson William come and stay.....it was wonderful tp get to know our grandson better but it certainly was different having a 19 month old running around all the time...nana and papa got a workout for sure!

The third week I was suppose to stay up there, by myself with the three kids, for the week...but after the stunts Emma pulled the first week, her non cooperation the second week...I preferred not to handle the third week on my own, so I came home.

Now, we are awaiting the birth of grandson number four...William's little brother due on August the third. Jenn's mom will probably stay a few days then the plan is for me to go up for some time, to help out.

This Sunday is Megan's 16th birthday...to say that she's excited is an understatement! She's asked me at least five times in the last week and a few times the week before 'when are you getting my cake'...in exasperation I replied...'Megan, in all the birthdays that you've had here have I ever forgotten your birthday cake?' "No'....'well, then I think you can count on me getting one this time!' Jenn suggested that the next time she brings it up I should write it on a piece of paper and when she wants to ask the question just tell her to look at the paper! I thought it was a great idea!

Next week Ben is having some minor surgery and then the following week, the same day that grandbaby is due, Megan is supposed to get her braces off...cue the Hallelujah chorus!!!

Son Paul, who you may remember rejoined the Canadian Army....has been down in another province, New Brunswick, doing some more training..this time in artillery (before it was infantry)...girlfriend Sara, who's in daily contact with him, says he's doing great and enjoying himself. He's supposed to graduate on August the 12th, I believe....I really wish I had the extra funds to go and see him graduate...I've been at the last two but this one is kind of out of our price range this time...over $500 for the flight and then you have the hotel and food costs....and perhaps car rental.....probably closed to $1000 by the time you're done....oi vey....why does everything have to cost so much.....

What happened to summer holidays being the days of slow and easy? I much preferred those days...now the days just seem to be chomping at the bit to run on to September!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Maybe that's not such a bad thing...at least the kids are back to school! :0)

The weekend....

2011-06-24T08:53:00.003-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!!

Well, you've probably all heard that phrase...'the best laid plans of mice and men....', this morning we were suppose to 'get on the road', bright and early..take hubby's car to the shop for a minor tire glitch...(minor to me but not to him) and then we were suppose to head up north to take Maya to the camp that she's working at for the next two months...then we were going to come back down via the camp where our trailer is sitting and get it opened up for the season. Opening the trailer entails flushing the antifreeze out of all the water lines, emptying the trailer of all the stuff that was stored for the winter in there, cleaning up, cutting the grass and raking everything...and so on and so on.....

Well, yesterday when I was driving my van I looked up at the oil change sticker on my windshield and down at the odometer and realized that I was 26 kms past oil change time...I'm usually quite a stickler about this because we had one engine on our very first van burn out because this wasn't attended to...ever since then I'm rather paranoid about it all. Since I knew we'd be going up north today...I got it in to the oil change place....the very nice man there informed me that I had a leak in a drive shaft seal...thankfully it's still under warranty..unfortunately it needed to be attended to as early as possible...the car dealership where it is under warranty needed or could take it first thing this morning....so....hubby is on his way with it to hopefully get that fixed.....this means that we wont get away til probably noon and we wont get to stop at the trailer to get it opened up...which means when we all troop up there next Friday for our holiday...well, lets just say...it will be a very long day..doing all the work required to 'open' it and then unpacking and setting up.

This also impacts tomorrow which was going to entail taking the dogs to the vet in the morning to get their required inoculations so they can stay at the kennel next week while we are gone. You see, we have two large dogs...my hubby has to be here to take them to the vet but he had to change the time of taking his car into the shop to tomorrow morning. Yes, there's more....son Ben is going to a theme park near Toronto with the church youth group tomorrow morning...he has to be at the church for 8 a.m.,...(hubby wasn't impressed with that news) ...so now...hubby will take Ben, drop him off at the church, go to the auto repair place, leave his car, get a drive home so he can be here by 10 a.m. to take the dogs for a 10:30 a.m. appointment to get their needles. In the afternoon we have plans to visit friends that we haven't seen for awhile...we're looking forward to that but I'm starting to question whether we will be able to carry on an interesting conversation with our friends when we'll be likely to be nodding off!

On the home front Emma has been up to her normal tricks and of course we're still the worst parents ever....c'est la vie....one of these days she'll grow up and hopefully all will be well.

School is done...Megan and Ben finished yesterday and in a few moments I have to go and pick up Emma from her last exam.....
......and the summer begins....good grief.

The Grandkids are coming!!!.....

2011-06-17T08:11:00.003-04:00

The Grandkids Are Coming! The Grandkids Are Coming!!

Good Morning Company Girls! How are you doin'?

Many moons ago when eldest daughter became engaged she said...'do you mind if we use the same wedding date that you and dad have...June 16th?' we said 'no'...I mean we didn't have any copyright on that date or anything....but, unfortunately when the calendar was checked we found that the following year was a leap year and instead of the Saturday being the 16th, it was actually the 15th...eldest daughter was slightly disappointed but went with the 15th.....now, fast forward to when we both needed kids to be babysat just so we could go and have an anniversary dinner...and we would end up reciprocating for each other so we didn't have to pay a babysitter as well as expensive eating out costs....sort of a mutual babysitting club....now, my kids have outgrown the need for a babysitter (well, unless Emma gets herself in trouble and we have to have someone watch (guard) her).....but fortunately our little grandkids still need nana and papa to step in when mom and dad go away ...overnite...like they're doing today.....so....in a couple of hours Jairus,10...Honour 7-3/4,.....Verity 6,....and Afton 3....are coming to nana and papa's for a sleepover!!!

This has been an interesting week, since we returned from Hawaii, to say the least.....two days after we returned, I had a meeting with Emma's therapist......and with Emma present she told us that Emma acted the way she did because of the way Don and I parented her...um....We've parented approximately 25 kids in the last 36 years...so now they tell us we've done it all wrong...well, for goodness sake...please don't tell the rest of the kids...we could have a mutiny on our hands....in fact....people seem to be jumping ship....a phone message left while we were gone indicated that the social worker I meet with to pour out my troubles to and have used as a personal sounding board has gone on sick leave and will be gone indefinitely (no I didn't make her sick...the poor woman was recently diagnosed with MS...have you noticed that that seems to be happening a lot lately...a little scary).....then there was a lovely card in the mail that explained how the lady that has groomed my dogs....for over 20 years is moving 3 hours north of here and she really doesn't have anyone she could refer me to...ya...does the phrase 'being thrown under the bus' come to mind??

Yesterday, was our anniversary...please go back and read the last post to read about it....the day didn't exactly go as hubby and I had planned.....for one thing..he was teaching in the evening...which means he doesn't even come home here for supper on those days never mind us going out for supper.....so...we decided to meet for lunch.....I left home a little bit early so I could stop at a card store...to get him a card....which I did...and continued on my way....hubby works a distance away so I had to drive for a bit to meet him for lunch.....on the way, the high school called...(I almost didn't answer my cell phone...I just looked at the number and thought...'oh no, do I really want to answer this?)...but...I did...yes, indeed it was Emma...not well...in fact, lying on the floor of the cooking class room..unable to get up because of dizziness.....would I come and get her or they'd call an ambulance......well, my mother instincts thought that was a bit overkill ,..but....I thought that maybe I wasn't seeing the whole picture here...so, I turned around after calling hubby to cancel and went to the school. When I arrived they indeed had got her off the floor...the vice principal accusingly said to me...'she's not had any breakfast you know!'...what a shocker..really?.....like I'm suppose to do something about this....the girl will be 18 in November and is bigger than me...I'm suppose to spoon feed her? So, my diagnosis of the situation was this...she was dehydrated...hadn't eaten or drunk anything since 6 p.m. the night before...which she always does...(yes, I know..there goes my mother of the year award)......started feeling light headed and dizzy....started to hyperventilate and panic over it all which resulted in tingling in her finger tips and toes....so the teacher starts to panic....they think they have to call an ambulance when really after they found out that she hadn't eaten anything if they would just have had her drink some juice and eat a muffin (which they were shoving at her when I arrived)...we could have avoided all of this.....yes, I did get after Emma as we drove home..explaining to her that this was the problem when she didn't eat breakfast and didn't take a lunch.....I did reinforce to her that she had to at least drink more so this didn't happen again.....

....so, needless to say..there went lunch.....not anybodies fault mind you...but disappointing none the less.....hubby did send me an email later on that afternoon to tell me to be prepared..he was taking me out to supper on Saturday evening..after the grandkids leave...well,....they'll still be here for about an hour after we leave but we'll prevail upon Maya to keep an eye on them til their mom and dad return.....so...all is not lost but when hubby didn't come home last night til after 10:30pm..I said that I couldn't remember an anniversary that we had actually spent such little time together!

Well, I best go...the school just called...again...(do you think they have us on speed dial?) it would seem that Megan forgot her locker key...the teacher gave her the spare to use....which she promptly locked into her locker where here gym clothes and lunch are that she needs this morning.....good grief...

Have a great weekend ladies!!

Testing

2011-06-15T19:40:00.000-04:00

Trying out a post from my iPad....see if this works......today is a gloomy day, Ben's gone off to Wild Waterworks and I'm not sure if they'll get rained out!

Location:Ontario

Amazing!!!!!

2011-06-10T08:06:00.003-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls! At Last....able to do a blogger post....

The picture above is the first view from the lobby of the Silver Cloud Inn in Mukilteo, Washington....a little further down is a pic (I got them out of order, sorry) of a little bit of the lobby...very quaint and nautical....of course the picture above is of one of the many ferries that go back and forth from the mainland to the various islands nearby. Hubby and I actually took one the next day to go over to Port Gamble. We had tea at this cute little tea shop....they have hats there...fancy ladies hats that you can wear while having your tea...we declined but there were two young girls...about 12 years old...who were there,....all by themselves, having tea and wearing these fancy hats....very cute. Then we drove around some more and found a quilt shop!!!! I was so excited.....of course I would have loved to buy out the store but since it was the beginning of our trip I restrained myself....I was thrilled to find some things that I've been looking at online...some things to use in appliqueing ....some special glue and some heat resistant plastic called Templar that you make templates with.....so exciting...it's the little things ladies really!

This is a wee little lighthouse close to our hotel in Mukilteo....cute eh?
On to Hawaii...to the Queen's palace...you couldn't take pictures inside but it was very nice...a lot of beautiful wood...and a very old quilt, kept under glass that the queen and her companion worked on while she was imprisoned in one of the rooms there...(it's a long story).....I have to tell you about getting to Hawaii though....you'll be quite impressed with my hubby....you see hubby knows quite well that the extent of my flying, hours wise, is about four hours...maybe four and a half...well, flying to Hawaii from Washington is six... record for me...wasn't sure how I'd do it but I really wanted to go to Hawaii so I was willing to try.....ya, I know...overseas flights are much longer...maybe I wont get it there..but then again...maybe I'll just have to get my courage up to use the onboard washrooms......that's my greatest fear...flushing those toilets on a plane ...they scare the bejeebers out of me...so I'll do anything to avoid using them...including dehydrating myself...which I did...foolish yes, but these are desperate measures! Well when we arrived at Seatac airport for our flight, there were a lot of people standing around waiting to get their bags checked and hubby says...'I'm not waiting for this'...and proceeded to go down the aisle for first class...I'm following, protesting...'Don, Donald...we can't go here..this is first class...we're going to get in trouble'....but he kept going.....I was sure when he handed the baggage handler our tickets that the guy would say...'sorry,...wrong line'...but he didn't....I was surprised...then we were directed to the faster lane for first class to go through security....I was still quite dense and thought..'someone is going to stop us anytime now'.....as we were standing there I looked at my ticket to see where our seats were situated and it said 3C...that puzzled me because I always have the middle seat and Don has the aisle or window...well 'C' would not be the middle (??)...so I says to hubby...'what is your seat number...he said...3A....I said ..well, I'm C...does this mean we're not sitting together?...who's in between us....he just grinned and said 'ya, we're sitting together'....well, I stood there, waiting my turn to take my shoes and jacket off...empty all my stuff into those little bins....mulling this over.....and I looked at hubby...'Don, are we going first class?'...he grinned and said we were.....'How can we do that...we can't afford that...oh my goodness, what the pete are you doing?' I said...he just grinned...you see...we were flying on airmiles....he found out that by using more air miles and a little bit of money to make up the difference that we could go first class...he decided that he'd do that to surprise me, to make the 6 hour flight a little easier....insert 'aw' here....ya, he's a pretty good guy..think I'll keep him....First Class is soooooo cool...all the times I've flown and I've never realized just how the other quarter of the plane was living way up there at the front of the plane! My Goodness!
This is the view...sorry evening view so it's a little dark, from the balcony of our room on the 22nd floor .....of our hotel room in Honolulu, Hawaii....very nice...except I have a very strong fear of heights...I could force myself to go out about a foot on the balcony and that's it.....but a lovely view....
This is the pic that's out of order but it's part of the lobby in Mukilteo....
One day we went driving up the North shore in Oahu and saw these humongous sea turtles...this pic doesn't do it justice because it doesn't look as large as it really is.....
A view from a lookout where some battle with the king of Hawaii took place.....breathtaking view really....
This is a shot back in Washington....this is when we returned from Hawaii...we drove up the peninsula to the rain forest and stayed at a lodge in Lake Quinalt......very nice and peaceful after the busyness of Honolulu......
...before we left the area we went further up the coast to say we saw the Pacific Ocean...so there it is.....
Sorry...another pic out of order (I'm really not good at posting pics..)....this is hubby back in Hawaii trying to get a pic of the sea turtles in the water...when he gets the pics off his camera, which are much better than mine, I'll have to show you some.....

So, anyways...we had twelve glorious days of freedom...it was wonderful..we've never been away for that long and certainly not been away from the kids for that long...it went well at home...Emma stayed with eldest daughter Leslie...she wasn't happy but she cooked her goose and this was the consequence.....the other three stayed at home and Paul's girlfriend stayed with them...she survived, which was wonderful....it was the first vacation that I didn't have one bit of concern about what was going on at home....it was wonderful! Hubby planned our time away so very well...as he always does......Two days in Mukilteo, Washington, eight days in Hawaii, two days in the rain forest back in Washington and our final night in a lovely room overlooking Commencement Bay in Tacoma, Washington...the check in girl even upgraded us to a jacuzzi suite with no extra charge....a lovely treat situated right under the window looking out over the bay!

We had a long day of flying on Tuesday, (not first class :0) ).....from Washington to Chicago and then on a tiny little claustrophobic plane from Chicago to Buffalo and then the drive home...leaving our hotel, in Tacoma at 6:30am and arriving at home that evening at 9:30pm.....poor hubby had to get up the next morning and get off to work right away...which he wasn't looking forward to...after our holiday he was dreaming of retirement!....

It was a dream trip of a lifetime to be sure......we enjoyed every minute....I can safely say there wasn't one thing that went wrong...on our trip or at home.....it was worth the wait that we've been waiting for , for over a year....we were blessed...yes, we were blessed indeed and might thankful to the Lord for giving us this amazing opportunity.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Day One

2011-05-27T10:55:00.001-04:00

Honour's quilt and holiday talk.....

2011-05-20T07:59:00.003-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Above is 7 year old Honour, with her quilt that she made for her new cousin, due to be born in August...didn't she do a great job..of course nana's photography skills could have been better, but I think you can see it. I am very proud of her..not only for the sewing but that she even had the idea herself and gathered all the materials on her own! Way to go Honour!

I was going to post more pics to do with my post but blogger's taking five minutes at least to upload my next pic so I figured I would just get on with the post.....today we have two birthdays in our family!! Paul, who is 23 today and grand daughter Verity, who is 6!! I also have a nephew who is celebrating today and I remember that cause he was the youngest guest at our wedding. We will be celebrating 38 years on June 16th, Lord willing and Ray was just a few weeks old ...my dad also celebrates in May and before Verity was born, quite often we would celebrate Paul's and dad's at the same family gathering....yes, May is a very celebratory month in this family!

This week things have been rough with Emma.....she's got an attitude a mile long that's very difficult to live with....she told me last night that she'll probably get beat up at school today...apparently the girl that loaned her the marijuana pipe last Thursday and subsequently had it taken by the police, wants renumeration..well, Emma hasn't any money...do you know that you can buy those pipes at any local convenience store...isn't that the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard of....you can just walk in and buy something that is used to do something illegal, while you're picking up your bread and milk...isn't that wonderful....????????? It boggles my mind....my advice to her was to always stay in open spaces where there were a lot of people, preferably closer to school personnel...I know that if I called the school and reported it that it would just make it more difficult for her...the choices that kids make these days truly prove that their frontal lobe is still unattached....

This weekend little William is coming for a visit...his mom and dad are going camping...his mom and dad think this will be the last time that she can go camping before the baby comes...they really camp...you know..sleeping bags, air mattress....guess it would be hard to roll off an air mattress with a large pregnant belly....the weather hasn't been good around here the last week so it's probably best that they leave William here...toddlers and mud..oh my....

.........next week......so far..no appointments scheduled......I am thrilled...although hubby does want me to switch vehicles with him on Wednesday so I can take his car in to get the summer tires put on.....so I guess that's kind of an appointment....and then on Thursday we are scheduled to leave on our trip....it will be a loooooooooooog travelling day.....leaving Buffalo airport at 11:30am...3 hour layover in Chicago.....landing around 8pm in Seattle and then going to our hotel...about a 45 minute drive in Mukilteo (not sure if that's spelled correctly)....and then on Saturday..on to Hawaii...hubby is very excited...I'm starting to allow myself to feel a little anticipation..there's been sooooo much going on lately that I keep thinking that something will happen to prevent this from happening......hubby has been planning and saving for this trip since a year ago March...it's been a long wait of anticipation......so very grateful that eldest daughter Leslie and Paul's girlfriend, Sara have willingly stepped in to cover teen care for us...without them there wouldn't be a trip and we are extremely appreciative.....when you have four special needs teens it's not easy getting help and we are understanding of those who feel they can't handle it and are too busy with their own lives (hey, if they weren't my kids I'd probably be running in the opposite direction too!)...that's life and that's what we accepted a long time ago...some days are easier to accept than others but that is life..so be it.

Well, I've just noticed that I separated Honour's two pics of her and her quilt,...looking below you can see the quilt better ...oh well....I've never professed to be good at this computer stuff!

It's a long weekend here for Canadians...Victoria weekend ,..in commemoration of a Queen's birthday..one long ago dead but we still take the holiday...when growing up we called it the 24th of May weekend....now, the kids refer to it as the two four weekend...oh well...it's still a holiday....hopefully the weather will co-operate!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Blogger is annoying today.....

2011-05-13T12:49:00.003-04:00

Good Morning...or Afternoon Company Girls!

Well, blogger took it's time fixing itself and then I had to go out for the morning so I'm just getting to it now....

I guess it's still not completely fixed cause I was going to put some pics in...but it wouldn't retrieve them....good grief.....goes with my life the last 24 hours.....

I was going to post some pics of my grand daughter Honour...last Friday she came to my house (with her siblings,) for the day...she brought this bag with some material in it...she had actually (roughly) cut out some rectangles of material...she had decided that she wanted to make a quilt for her little cousin who is due in August....I was tickled.....she had chosen different materials in different blues...cause it's a boy, don't ya know....so...we spent the day making a little quilt...perfect size to put over him in his car seat in those cold winter months, up north. I was very proud of her..she did a great job! And if blogger gets it's act together I'll post the pics sometime!

Yesterday was a good for nothing, no good horrible day......I was suppose to go out for a lovely lunch at a tea room with some ladies from our church....but one of the ladies was called out of town for a family emergency and another was stricken with a horrible asthma attack because they were having their hardwood floors redone....so, the lunch was postponed. Which, in hindsight was a good thing because the phone call I did receive at lunch time would have spoiled the lunch anyways...big time! The high school called...Emma was caught with some dope and a pipe, off campus at the strip mall across the street...some undercover police brought her and two other girls back to the school...bottom line..she wasn't charged..got off with a warning...and suspended from school til Monday. Good grief......when will it stop...

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and that the weather is fabulous...we could really use some nice, warm weather.....

take care everyone!

Happy Mother's Day...and so on...

2011-05-06T07:55:00.004-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

My Mom...my mom is a very interesting lady.....she's changed a lot over the years (haven't we all!)......when I was about nine or ten...my mom told me about my birth....now, I was her second child...she had already given birth 3-1/2 years previous to my sister....she had all of us (4) about 3 years apart...she said it was perfect...she'd get the baby toilet trained and out of diapers and have sometime to enjoy that without doing the diaper thing for awhile. Good plan but I could never get my kids trained by 18 months like she could! Anyways, one day I was lounging on the couch and she was sweeping the floor in the kitchen...I don't remember how it came about but she told me all about it....how she woke up one night...it was a few weeks...about 3 I think, before my due date...she had to go to the bathroom...as pregnant women have need to do...in the night....especially close to the end...I always figured it got us into the habit so that when the babe was born we'd already be used to getting up in the night...I digress...she was going down the hall to the bathroom when she felt something trickling down her leg...well, more than a trickle...now my very proper mom had a fit (I probably would have too) cause she thought she was urinating...she got into the bathroom and found out it wasn't pee...it was blood...the ambulance was called....she was sitting on a chair, afraid to move cause she felt like everything would gush out...when she arrived at the hospital they determined that the placenta was delivering first....mom said that as she was lying there, praying she felt 'something' happening...she called for the nurse...the doctor came..they checked again...the placenta and I had switched places..even at that early age I had a problem with things and people telling me what to do...which I'm afraid has stuck with me all my life! So, instead of an emergency section they just did a very quick delivery.....my mom joked that I had to feel my way out because I came out hands first...I wonder if that's why..to this day...I'm extremely claustrophobic...hmmmm...

It didn't take them long to determine that I had a few things wrong with me.....what a shock for a young mom...today with ultrasounds at least the parents can be prepared to some degree....I could not bend my arms at the elbow, on my own...they found out why....no muscles in the upper part..well, I have the ones that are underneath the upper arm but not the ones on top....can never remember the names....and the muscles across the back of my shoulders are underdeveloped......my mom rallied and handled it well....the next 12 years brought four surgeries and copious doctor's and therapist visits....she learned to do my exercises at home and on the days that we didn't go to the hospital, she did them at home....never failed...never complained. She had a resolve that others didn't understand...she always expected that I could do something, just like everyone else...and she let me figure out how to do it..in my own way, much to the chagrin of others..the story is told of how one day an aunt, who was at the house was quite concerned when mom let me struggle for a number of minutes trying to put a t-shirt on....seemed heartless to my aunt...but my mom was wise...I figured out my own way of getting dressed, of eating, of holding a cup...of being independent.....as a mom, I realize just how hard that was for my mom to do.....my mom went on to have two more children...my brothers...which that in itself was brave...it's hard to have subsequent children after having a child with disabilities....

Now, my mom apologizes for being such a bother, for needing help with things....I figure that it's alright....she was there for me...she did so much for me.....it's my turn now.....

Happy Mother's Day, mom....you're the best!

Miss Afton is 3 years old today...Afton is my youngest grand daughter.....my eldest daughter Leslie gave birth to her..at home..(as she did with all her girls).....after a full day of labour....Afton just couldn't make up her mind about coming out! Today, her and her older siblings are at my house...mom and dad have gone to a homeschooling convention for the day....should be an interesting day...Honour and Verity have brought little sewing projects with them and some dvd's....

Last night, second eldest daughter Lauren took me to a 'makeup gala' at our local drug store (where she works).....it was a fun time...looking at all the different make up products and choosing a few...I will admit that I don't wear a lot of makeup and when I do, it's usually on special occasions or at least going out somewhere.....but I was able to get some new lip gloss and shadows, free mascara (Lauren was shuddering when I said my mascara was a year old!) and nail polish..oh, and a new lipstick too..so I'm ready for the summer months! It was a lovely Mother's Day thing to do...Thanks Lauren!

So, as usual..it's a busy time....Mother's Day, Afton's birthday, grandkids all day.....the remembrance of my dad going to heaven, tomorrow....

I hope you all have a marvellous weekend and if you are a mother, I hope your mother's day is everything that you would like...and if you aren't a mom (that's okay too) but that you remember that woman that did so much for you as you were growing up that made you the woman you are today!

Happy Mother's Day!

This Week.....

2011-05-05T08:09:00.003-04:00

I was reading another blog this morning and this blogger spoke about an accident in the Dallas area that took a pastor's life...he was a well known pastor, David Wilkinson.....apparently the last journal entry he made contained these words....

To those going through the valley and shadow of death, hear this word: Weeping will last through some dark, awful nights—and in that darkness you will soon hear the Father whisper, “I am with you. I cannot tell you why right now, but one day it will all make sense. You will see it was all part of my plan. It was no accident. It was no failure on your part. Hold fast. Let me embrace you in your hour of pain.”

Beloved, God has never failed to act but in goodness and love. When all means fail—his love prevails. Hold fast to your faith. Stand fast in his Word. There is no other hope in this world.

These words got me to thinking......I keep stashing 'the elephant in the room' back into the deepest parts of my mind.......when the big gray beast would try to emerge, I would push him back.....sometimes, it flashes in my mind...just what I was doing at this time last year....Don and I were enjoying a few days in Chicago...he had a pricing conference...I went along for a few days of R and R....I had been torn about going...everyone kept saying that I needed to go....I knew my dad wasn't well....every day I would communicate with my sister, and everyday she would say he was getting better...all the physical signs indicated that was the case.

By Friday, the conference was done and Don had arranged a few days at a hotel overlooking the river in Chicago...it was a beautiful room...after we checked in we went for a walk...while we were out, the first of many texts came into my phone...texts that started a fear way down in the pit of I don't know where......until the final text came in, three hours later.....'call me'...it said.....and I knew....I knew....I showed the text to Don...wordlessly.....

He was gone....my dad was gone......'I shall know Him, I shall know Him,...by the prints of the nails in His hands'....dad was seeing those prints, those marks.......

This week has been hard....lots of things going on.....Maya is home....it's so hard when they come home after being away for awhile...they resent you doing your parenting thing...they've been without it...they think they're mature...all grown up...don't need it anymore...they get annoyed..you get stressed...you can see that their maturing still has a long way to go......they wish they were back where they were...part of you wishes that too....cause the others don't stop...Emma is falling deeper, deeper and deeper into the world that changes a soul...sometimes forever ....you despair...she thinks she's figured it all out...she can live in two worlds......she can't.....she has to make a choice...but she's young and the other world is appealing...she is not strong.....the weight on a mother's heart can be overwhelming sometimes....being a mom is not for the faint of heart that's for sure....

Mother's Day is coming...what does that truly mean to you....if you are already a mom...it is entirely different than if you're not....Mother's Day for me is hope and expectation.....but not too much expectation....I've learned that over the years..too much expectation is a recipe for hurt...for spoiling the day....last year my mom barely realized that it was Mother's Day....I've been trying to figure out the right balance for the day....it falls on the day right after her husband of sixty-six years left her...not willingly...but he did.....dad used to make something of the day for mom...I guess over the years we disappointed her ...dad was used to filling in the gaps...with mom's dementia we have to be careful not to overwhelm her with too much.....yes, a fine balance...

So....this is what's been going on with me this week.....a friend of mine just called...her husband's name is Dave...they took him by ambulance into the hospital last night...Dave is dying..cancer has taken over his lungs ...would you pray for Dave and Carol.... thank you...

I am grateful that He is embracing me...without that...there is nothing......my hubby is a great man..a great husband..loving, supportive, encouraging, loyal, committed....but I learned a long time ago that he is only human...he can not be there for me all the time...no human can be..it is impossible....but God is...doesn't mean I still won't feel the hurt, the pain but there is One stronger than me, than my husband...than my dad.....have you experienced it, if not then I pray that someday soon you will...

Well done....

2011-04-29T08:16:00.005-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!!

Our son decided to re-enlist after nearly a year and a half of civilian life.....

This Is Paul......and his girlfriend Sara....and this picture is taken just after he re-enlisted in the Canadian Army.

This momentous occasion occurred while I was in Bermuda....I was disappointed that I would miss it this time...I WAS at the first time....about 4-1/2 years ago.....but this time he just found out at the beginning of April that it was happening and of course, my mother's trip could not be changed. Hubby was there of course and took pictures.

The next day Paul said a sweet good bye to his sweetheart and flew to New Brunswick, where he reported to Gagetown, for artillery training. The first enlistment, those years ago, was in the infantry. This time the infantry was full up and they had an opening in artillery.
Now , it's hurry up and wait...in true army fashion......his artillery course doesn't start til July! So, for now, he's in a holding company...which means he sits around all day, doing nothing...and getting paid for it! He says some other guys are grumbling about it but he's just smilin'.....he's been through this before...the first time through he was grumbling too...but now,...he's just smilin'....he's glad to be back.

People have asked me how I feel about it all......I feel just fine about it......really,..he's happy...isn't that what it's all about.....of course I don't want him to be put in harms way, of course, I wouldn't want him to be injured..or worse.....but...all mom's want their kids to grow up and be happy in what they've chosen to do...this is his choice and I support him.

Paul is a wonderful young man...I still remember vividly the day he walked up the steps of our front porch, holding the hand of the social worker...looking very apprehensive....he was 3-1/2 years old.....when a foster child comes to your home, most times, you really don't know just how long they will be staying with you....in fact Paul, only stayed a few months...the first time....then a judge said he could go and live with a 'quasi' family member...also for a few months...then one September day...I received another call....Paul was back 'in care' and he was asking to come back...to come back to our home. Memories come creeping back as I recall Lauren and Corey coming home from school,..walking up the road, and when Lauren saw Paul from a distance...she let out a holler and started running and when she reached him she gave him a huge hug. What a reception!

His name was actually Justin at that time....of all the kids we've adopted his case dragged on the longest...there are some cases that 'fall through the cracks'...through legal mumbo-jumbo, he was 16 years old before his adoption went through! Yes, unheard of now....but that's the way it unfolded in the life of Paul.....

When hubby and I have adopted our children....they're quite a bit younger...Paul knew that when they were adopted, Corey and Lauren...that their names were changed...we always kept their birth names as their 'third' name...but like every mom and dad we wanted to give a name of our choosing to our chosen children....up to this point they were young enough that they went along with it.....When Paul was about 8 years old, it was summertime...he said to me one day...'mom, when you adopt me....are you going to change my name?' I was taken aback, but quickly recovered and said..'well, you are older, I really think you wouldn't want to do that...would you?' 'yes, I would'...he said...well, you could have knocked me over with a feather....but, as usual...I did an excellent acting job...stayed cool.....'Really', I said.....'If you were going to change it...what would you change it to...?', he asked...'well', I said.....'you have three names....Justin Paul William...I think we'd probably just change them around.....you'd be Paul William Justin'...traditionally putting his first 'birth' name as his third.....he thought about that a moment and seemed pleased. 'You'd like that?'...'Yes, I would'. "well, we'll keep that in mind for the future", I said. A few days later, we were driving in the van and Paul spoke up...'mom?'...'yes'....'when are you going to start calling me my 'new name'...'when would you like us to'....'now'..'now?'....'okay...well, keep in mind that we might slip up and call you Justin'...'ya, I know'...'okay, will give it a try'....I had no idea whether he would continue with it or not...but a few days later he was writing his name down on a registration card for a local V.B.S....I observed him write Paul instead of Justin...I thought..well, I guess he's serious about this....fortunately, since it was his legal name, just switched around... the social worker didn't have a problem with it!

He quickly became Paul to everyone and Justin was the scared little boy that came to my home all those years ago....and also came into our hearts.....his growing up was not without trials and tribulations....but he's now a young man, a son whom we are very proud of for the good choices that he has made.

Well done Paul....

Bermuda!!!

2011-04-22T09:58:00.006-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!!

Ah....a Bermuda sunset...it was an overcast evening but it was our last evening and all the other evenings had beautiful crisp sunset shots...but I kept forgetting to take my camera to supper and supper was late enough that sunset came just as we were having dessert every night.

This is the room that my mom and I shared for the week...just out those patio doors was a fabulous view of the bluest ocean you will ever see...well, at least that I've ever seen!

This is my sister Adele and her husband Dave.....we stopped at a restaurant up at the dockyards to get a bit of something to tide us over til we got back to Willowbank (where we were staying) for teatime....they had a proper teatime served everyday at 4 p.m.

This is the view out our patio doors....lovely to wake up to every morning to be sure...

...and here's the lady we made this trip for...my mom...soaking up the rays sitting on the ferry...

Well, it was a lovely trip...I wouldn't exactly call it a holiday....I missed my hubby a lot and it's a huge responsibility having the care of an elderly person with dementia....my mom did fairly well, she did have some days when her confusion was more than other days ...there was one day when she took off on me and I couldn't find her...I'm sure that if someone had taken my blood pressure at that point it would have been through the roof! My sister, who was still recovering from her strep ear infection had some days that were more difficult then others...the hearing in the damaged ear is no longer there so she has to work very hard to keep her balance and on days when she was tired she was quite 'wonky' as she described it. Sometimes I would forget and be walking on her 'bad' side and start talking to her and suddenly realize that she wasn't responding....then I would quickly touch her arm so she'd look at me or quickly move on to her other side to have a conversation....

......the weather was just lovely...each day getting warmer than the next and we only had one day when we had a slight sprinkling of rain...which you really didn't mind at all....

All in all I would say it was a successful trip....mom finally got back to her beloved Bermuda...although she says now she wants to go back again! This time she wants warmer weather...she loves the heat.....we'll see but the reality is that I think this was her last trip...her dementia is only going to get worse and that makes care taking and her safety very difficult...especially when she gets stubborn and insists 'I can do it myself'! ...and when you ask her to stay in one spot while you're gone , just for a moment and she takes off with the attitude of 'I can go somewhere if I want..I don't need anyone with me'...scary attitude when she can't remember where she is at times!

My sister made her up a lovely photo album, complete with captions so she has a tangible remembrance of her time in Bermuda...I think it will become invaluable in the days to come!

One day my mom said to me, with some concern in her voice.."I can only remember little bits of your dad being here with me'....as I commiserated with her she said....'I'll be so glad to see him again'...I said..'ya, so will I'...she said...'I told him, you be waiting for me at those gates...you'd better be there when I come'....

True love....never dies...just waiting...

Busy, busy, frightfully busy.....

2011-04-08T07:58:00.002-04:00

Well, Good Morning Company Girls! It's Friday...again...and I must run off to my applique class soon....which I don't have my homework done for yet....good grief...at my age worrying about homework! Anyways, thot I'd take a few moments to dash off some lines...busy weekend ahead which is winding up a busy week filled with appointments and drama..... Maya is coming home for the weekend with two friends that she works with at the camps....Maya's 19th birthday is next week so she'd like to have a little celebration this weekend...special birthday supper order has already been put in....have to take her to get her health card renewed and take both my Old English sheepdogs to the groomer to get shorn...plus...a bridal shower tomorrow afternoon...the usual busy Sunday stuff...plus did I mention three extra adult size people in the house all weekend.......but Monday...Monday will come and I am scheduled to get on a plane at Toronto airport...with my mom and my sister and her husband and a few hours later land in lovely Bermuda! I am truly torn because I love Bermuda...hubby and I have been fortunate to go there twice ....once for our 25th and then for our 35th wedding anniversary...but...alas...hubby is not going and I truly hate going places without him.....yes..after 41 years of knowing each other and almost 38 years of marriage...we are still joined at the hip.....so...even though I'm sure this will be a lovely treat.....it will be difficult to be separated from my true love for so long. So...off to class..hope everyone has a marvelous week...if I can post next Friday from Bermuda than I will.... Take care everyone!

My Gang!

2011-04-01T08:59:00.005-04:00

The Grandchildren!

William is sitting on Honour's lap, Afton is next...the guy smiling in the middle is Jairus, then Verity and then Donovan!!

Jairus officially entered into the double digits this week when he celebrated his tenth birthday on Wednesday!

William is 16 months, Honour is 7, Afton is 2, Jairus is 10, Verity is 5 and Donovan is 6.

Honour and Verity love getting into my bathtub and have a ball...they turn on the air jets and make all sorts of bubbles!!

William, last Saturday morning waiting for his papa to give him his breakfast....

Good Morning Company Girls!

Well, last weekend was a wonderful, very busy weekend.....I told you about wee grandson William coming and on Sunday I invited another grandson Donovan to come ...it was a wonderful time having all the grandkids together.....as you can see in the pictures above...it's not easy getting all six kids looking at the camera at the same time!

William arrived (with his parents) about 1 o'clock on Friday.....I will admit to being a little concerned because I really haven't spent a lot of time with him since he was a newborn...and I highly doubt he'd remember that! Other times when they've been visiting, there's always a lot of family around to amuse and take care of him and I rarely get the opportunity....all my concerns were for nothing really because he was just fine...he ate well, he played, he had his bath (although he protested at getting his hair washed!) and he went down to sleep without a peep! He slept right through the night!! The next day he was absolutely no problem at all and in the afternoon his mommy and daddy came back home. It was a wonderful time and I enjoyed getting to know this littlest grandson!

In the evening hubby and I went to Toronto a Steven Curtis Chapman concert...hubby had purchased the tickets months before so we had already told our son and his wife that we'd be out for the evening when they called to ask us to babysit....It was a very good concert....and a lovely evening out and about! Toronto isn't one of my favourite places to go , but it was really one of the outlying suburbs so that was okay.

The next day was Sunday which of course started with church and our Sunday school program....usually I come home exhausted and hubby makes lunch but this time son Ryan and his wife Jenn and William had to leave in the middle of the afternoon so we had our 'big dinner' earlier....so, when I got home from church I immediately started whipping up the batter for the Yorkshire Pudding...my family loves Yorkshire so I make four batches....Donovan arrived, which was great because we hadn't seen him in months...his mom and his dad(my son Corey) aren't married and not together anymore, so it's a little difficult and complicated to see him regularly.

Then daughterLauren came by and decided to have lunch with us..which was great....it's a rare Sunday that I don't make what my kids call 'a big meal' and everyone is invited to come if they want to, kind of an open invitation...most times Lauren and Paul have other plans but sometimes they come. I'm glad Lauren decided to come..I knew she'd want to see William too!

It was a full dinner table with fifteen sitting at it...a little noisy at times but it was just great...I love having everyone come together ...there was just enough food...roast beef, roasted potatoes, gravy, peas and corn and of course the Yorkshire pudding....I think everyone enjoyed it!

At the end of the day, when everyone had left...I was picking up this and that..doing a little tidying...and hubby came up to me and gave me a hug...and whispered...'do you hear it'?....I said 'what'....'the quiet' he said.....ya,....the family is great...and I love having them all..but when everyone leaves..oh the quiet...the quiet is nice.

2011-03-25T08:57:00.002-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!!
This is William.....he is my youngest grandchild....well, youngest that is born right now....his mommy is expecting a little brother for William to play with this August...and today...William is coming here..to nana and papa's house while mommy and daddy get a well deserved little getaway overnight! I have a funny feeling that papa and I wont be getting too much rest in the next 24 hours..but that's okay..we'll survive! This is my sister Adele, yesterday she was admitted into the hospital with a very resilient infection in her ear that is not responding to medications by mouth and so they want to get her them into her via intravenous. She was away last week in Florida and thinks she may have picked it up in the swimming pool where they were staying. She's been quite ill for over ten days now....I hope these I.V. meds will do the trick!

It's been quite the week...my days have been turned upside down, backwards and inside out....we had a snowstorm on Wednesday that closed the schools for the day....good grief..I just got the kids back to school from March Break! On Tuesday I had to miss quilt class when both Megan and Ben had dentist appointments in the morning and then in the afternoon I took my sister's place (she usually does the 'mom appointments').....and took my mom to the dentist....at least I got a lot of reading done in my book!

Yesterday I took Megan to the orthodontist and in the afternoon I had a much needed massage....the evening was spent with my sister and her hubby at the hospital while she was being admitted. Today is busy, busy, busy...have to get myself into high gear and tidy up the house to prepare for William coming...he's walking now so I imagine there's all sorts of things that I will be putting up to a much safer level! To find out more of what's been going on in our house please check out my previous post....any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Take care and have a great weekend!

What Would you do?

2011-03-23T09:01:00.003-04:00

Emma....

So, last week I went and saw Emma's counselor...she thot we should touch base because Emma was cutting..again...she had stopped for a few weeks......she admitted to me that she was at a loss of what to do....she had tried everything to get Emma to want to change, to have a better life....but....Emma doesn't want to change...the counselor figures that she's very comfortable with the way things are...she has it made really....a place to live, food to eat, her very own bedroom, parents who have done for her...tried to help her in so many ways...but she just sits in her room....doing her hair and makeup...or sleeping....she's always sleeping....the 'experts' say that she's not depressed...just bored...she never does school work...sometimes she passes her school work and sometimes not...she doesn't really care...the only thing she cares about is her school friends.....when the counselor admitted to me that she was at a loss of what to do it reminded me of when I was taking Ben, my developmentally delayed 20 year old, to a social worker for anger management....she got to the point that she said that she had tried everything but because his comprehension level is so low that she couldn't think of anything to help him understand.....I came away from both meetings feeling the same way....discouraged.

Due to the damage done to them by unthinking, unknowing, and sometimes uncaring birth parents these kids and in turn, my husband and I, because we chose to adopt them, are stuck...stuck in a world where people don't know what to do...how they can be helped...and the older I get the harder it is to take...when you're in your 30's or 40's you have the energy to tackle things head on and have a 'can do' attitude. Not now...now I'm just weary.

The counselor said...come back in a few days...we'll talk again....so I did.....she suggested setting up things in our home like a group home....if she wants something she has to earn it..set out the guidelines and expectations....let her hang out with her bisexual friends with their black clothes and multiple facial piercings..because let's face it....Emma will be 18 this November and in another year she could possibly go off to college...where, as family history has presented itself in our family...the kids lead altogether different lifestyles than we (my husband and I) have brought them up with...we are a fairly conservative Christian home..when they leave they have to try everything..they are convinced that all those years we've kept them from having fun...having the good life....

So,..at first my thoughts were...absolutely not, no way....then the more I thought about it the more I thought....maybe, maybe we should consider this.....I thought some more...maybe if we let her do this now, cause just face it Marie, she's doing this lifestyle anyways...everyday, at school...when I can not do anything about it anyways....maybe if we do allow it now we can still have some input instead of waiting til she's on her own and she's completely away from any parental influences.....so, I convinced hubby...he thought I had lost my mind...maybe I have....

I set up the guidelines...they must be adhered to if she wants any privileges.....there are expectations...she must get a volunteer position..somewhere....every kid that graduates high school in Ontario must have 40 hours of volunteer work...so far Emma hasn't any.....she must do all her chores without being asked.....she must treat everyone in the family with kindness and respect. She must tell me where she's going and when she'll return.

Emma's requests were to spend more time with her school friends after school, hanging out, sleeping over at their homes, being able to call them on the phone...she also wanted them to sleep over here.....we vetoed that particular one....I have Ben and Megan in the home...two very developmentally delayed kids in the house...they don't need that kind of exposure to Emma's friends in their own home....neither do I for that matter....

So far, Emma has been doing her chores, she has plans for getting volunteer positions but hasn't followed thru yet. Last night her friend, Kimma called....she used to go to Emma's school...in fact, I'm pretty sure that she's the one that introduced Emma to the whole bisexual world....apparently, according to Facebook....Kimma and Emma are 'in a relationship'...they are 'dating' now.....I feel a huge heaviness on my heart and soul...I feel sick inside....I want to take Emma's body and just shake it...(although since she's bigger and way stronger than me, that ain't going to happen)...good grief...don't call the cops on me.....I want to yell at her and say...'smarten up' 'what the pete do you think you're doing?' 'you're ruining your life'......when I see on Facebook, all her friends congratulating them and telling Emma how wonderful it is that she's with Kimma...well, it just makes me sick and I feel badly for the kids of today that their standards and morals are so screwed that they think that all this is just fabulous....am I a homophobic?...probably....I see it as a lifestyle that has a lot of sadness in it...a lot of society 'accepts' it on the outside but on the inside they're still going 'yuck'..'how can they do that!'....

I fear for Emma...she has turned to these kids because the other kids...the non-bisexuals have shunned her...they think she's weird, not because of the bisexualism but because that's just the way she acts....I think she scares them....she does act weird a lot of the time....you'd never dream that she was going to be 18 by the end of the year....

So...what's a mother to do...what would you do?

The Quilt Room!

2011-03-10T19:56:00.004-05:00

Hello Company Girls!!!

Ta Da! The Quilt Room!

This is a small room, 8 x 10....the view standing in the doorway...I think I'll just put a little valance at the window....

This is my mom's old Singer sewing machine and cabinet....made in 1940! Cool huh?

Book shelf with all my quilting magazines and books.

Obviously, my sewing machine....the chair was in my dad's workshop...

Little ornament that I got down in Pennsylvania last Christmas when we went down for Sight 'N Sound theatre....cute huh?

Little ornament on the window sill...that I had to paint white cause the previous daughters had destroyed the window sill and hubby had to sand it...matching the stain to the rest of the window would have been next to impossible since it was done over 60 years ago!

Pressing area! The little table was also in my dad's shop....

Curtains covering the closet...the gold chair was my nana's...someday I'll get it recovered....but it's a nice spot to sit and contemplate life....

Curtains opened, displaying the fabric stash....

Another view.....

Cutting table.....the table was in an old office that hubby worked in over twenty years ago....when the weather gets warm I plan on taking it outside and painting it...maybe a nice white....

You can see the striping on the wall in this shot...turned out great and a little tip that Rachel gave me created nice clean edges....

Another view....love those walls...

And...there it is...something that I've dreamed about for years.....I've actually started a new quilt this week...and I can just leave everything laid out...don't have to pack anything up at the end of the day....fabulous...and the only expense was the paint for the walls...everything else I had in the house...now everything is in one room....before,...there was quilting stuff downstairs, in the dining room, the living room and my bedroom...I love having everything together!

So...what do you think......my hubby worked very hard and I think it's terrific.....Yes, I know...I am spoiled!!!

Happy Birthday to our son Ben who is twenty today!!!

The Weekend....

2011-02-25T15:12:00.003-05:00

Good Afternoon Company Girls!

A little late today....I had to be out the door by 8:30 a.m. today and didn't have time to do a blog post before I left! What got me out the door at such an early hour...not to mention there happened to be a snow blizzard going on at the time...what else could do it but quilting!! (Although I was out even earlier on Tuesday to take Emma to a doctor's appointment) Not my usual class which is on Monday mornings but this was a different one at another church, a bit further away . I went to it because the teacher there was going to show us how to do applique. I've always been a little intimidated by applique but this teacher took the mystery out of it and made it quite simple, really...except I was a little disappointed when she says she doesn't usually do needle turn applique, which appeals to me, but, since she doesn't like doing it...guess I'll have to look up some videos on the computer. Anyways, it was interesting to learn something new...I liked it...it will take a few lessons to complete the little wall hanging but it looks like it will be a nice experience.

This weekend hubby plans on working on my quilt room...last weekend he got the walls prepped and the ceiling painted....this weekend the walls! I'm actually giving him a little extra work because I saw on this other blog...I think it's called the lettered cottage....they put these wide, about 12" wide, horizontal strips around the wall...I thought that would add some interest to a small room...it's only 8' x 10'...but of course it's extra work. I went to Home Depot and got a paint chip card that had three shades of yellow on it...so the lightest is on the ceiling and the medium will go on the walls and the darkest will be the horizontal stripes! I can't wait!!! I'm hoping that by next week I'll be able to set it up the way I want it to look....I've already been drawing out a floor plan....I have never had anything like this before!!! Very exciting!

On Sunday we have an important lunch meeting after morning service...I'm kind of apprehensive about it. Eldest daughter and I handed in our resignations from leading the Sunday school program at our church. We've done it for the last three years. We're tired out.
Unfortunately,..and I imagine it's like this at a lot of churches, we can't get the parents to contribute to helping out with the program....we've begged, we've pleaded....everybody has an excuse....I've even joked that Sunday school should be run as a co-op! The trouble is there's a lot of parents that just wouldn't bring their kids if that was the protocol. I know...sad but true. They'll do anything to get their child to a hockey practice but not to Sunday school...not just picking on hockey...but anything else that kids are involved in. It would seem that if parents have to pay for it than they make it a priority. Anyways, the meeting is to let all the parents, (who have been specifically invited) to inform them that we are no longer doing the program as of June and to find out from them just what they're willing to do to have the program continue under new leadership. Even though daughter and I are not leading this meeting, I'm not really comfortable with it...I'm not a person that cares for confrontation. We have been assured that the leaders will keep a tight reign that it's not going to have a lot of negativity...I hope not. We shall see.

So, that's my weekend...what about yours...great things planned?

It's a Beautiful Day in the neighborhood.....

2011-02-18T08:45:00.004-05:00

Of course when will I ever learn to load the pics in backwards order!! This is Maya and the other two girls on the team of ten young people that went down to Costa Rica....this pic was actually taken when they were coming home..... Here's Maya and one of the many friends that she made in Costa Rica....

One of many beautiful sunset pictures she took...they even have a specific 'sunset time' on the schedule where they all gather at a certain spot and sing praise choruses and pray..every day...neat eh?

The cabins that the team stayed in...

...and this is a very scared Maya getting ready for take off on her very first plane ride....

Good Morning Company Girls!

Well, it's a beautiful, sunny in Southern Ontario...when the kids left for school it was a whole 8 degrees Celsius...which is about 46 Fahrenheit....I know not overly warm but a lot nicer than some of the frigid ones we've had lately....according to my little weather thingy on my sidebar, we're actually warmer than Seattle right now!...but then again they're three hours behind us so they will probably catch up!

So, that's the weather covered...what else...well, it's a long weekend here....some parts of Canada celebrate Family Day...that's a holiday that government felt we needed in the middle of February to help get us through our looooooooong winter! You are suppose to do family type things on Monday...I think this is like the third or fourth year for it...last year hubby didn't even get it off because his company decided to give us an extra day at the July 1st holiday...Canada Day....yeah I know the Americans celebrate on the 4th....anyways, sufficient to say we really didn't do anything and this year we have nothing planned...probably just working around the house...hey...that can be a family thing right?

Saw a great status on Facebook yesterday....I think it was on commenter LydiaCate's....she was repeating something she heard on a radio program....one of those things that stop and give you pause....'Are you courageous enough to let God write the testimony of your child's life'? Ya...makes you stop and think doesn't it.....my second oldest son is still in jail...he grew up in our family...learned about God just as all the kids have...accepted Jesus into his heart..just like all the kids have.....but...yet...he's in jail...for the third time.....he's twenty-seven years old....there are some kids that I will admit that it's harder to let God write their testimony.....you want to step in...you want to fix it....you can't.

Today is hubby's Friday off....maybe we'll mosey on down to Niagara-on-the-Lake for awhile...maybe have tea in the Irish shoppe...like to connect with my Irish roots every now and then...it's the closest I'll ever get to Ireland to be sure! Of course, if it's hubby's Friday off, it must be grocery day....good grief..means buying food again.....my kids at home are already all taller than me...you'd think I could stop feeding them now! Maybe we'll be able to get the paint for my quilt room today...now, that is shopping to look forward to!

So, have a great weekend...take care!

Our House...part two...

2011-02-16T08:26:00.003-05:00

It's been an interesting time in our household these last few weeks. Emotions have been up and down....Maya was thousands of miles away, working in a camp....wasn't sure deep down how I felt about that...some kids are harder to let go more than others...there's a certain kind of vulnerability about Maya that makes you apprehensive for her....that makes you concerned about the people out there set on taking advantage of her....when there were about 4-5 days that I did not have any communication from her, while she was thousands of miles away, that I did a little panic...deep down inside me....the kind that only hubby sees....and God. She was fine...just on a little camping trip to experience waterfalls, volcanoes and rainforests....but I didn't know that at the time.
.....now our thoughts travel to what she will do in the fall...her internship is done the end of April, she hopes to work the summer at one of the camps she's at now....but the fall....then what....

We finally got Ben's room done...looks pretty good and he loves it...with moving him back in his room..well then we were ready for the big shuffle......there are three bedrooms downstairs..all in various sizes....the medium size one was for older son Paul but also a guest room since he was already in the army when it was completed and so wasn't home too often. When he resigned from the army and moved back home, he acquired a girlfriend(well, actually he had the girlfriend for awhile.....so even though he was home...he really wasn't. So, after a year, we asked if we could put some of his stuff into storage...we needed the space...he agreed. When we started on Ben's room well he went to stay in Paul's room for what I hoped was a couple of weeks...turned out to be a couple of months.....in Paul's room, the one that Ben was staying was a double size bed....passed on when an aunt died....so it's Aunt Edith's bed...that's what we call it....double was good for when Ryan and Jenn came visiting....but then Ryan and Jenn grew, they already had a big dog but then they had Sweet William and now we are eagerly looking forward to another grandbaby in August...changes had to be made....medium size room was not big enough for two adults, a toddler in a playpen and a large dog....so....when Ben moved back to his room last Saturday, to his brand new double bed I might add,....we decided to move Aunt Edith's bed into the largest room...which is Emma's...at first she didn't like the idea...but after it was set up and she had the bed made up looking ever so nice,..she admitted that she really did like it.
Now Emma's old twin size bed was in better condition then Megan's bed (which was upstairs in Megan's room, the room next to ours) So..we moved Emma's old bed into the medium size room.....by then it was after 11 p.m. and we were done in.

The next afternoon, I spoke to Megan.....she had been moping around, wondering when something was going to be done in her room.....so, I said to her..."Megan...you know how Ben just got this nice new room done....'ya'....and Emma just got the flooring done in her room and the double bed put in there....'ya'.....well,...how would you like a different room too? " Well, her eyes lit up, she clapped her hands 'yes. yes, yes'!! We could move your stuff down to Paul's room if you like...more squeals...more yeses!! So, we did.

All this to say...it's very different in our house now...the atmosphere is different...it's like hubby and I have claimed back our house...weird eh? I wasn't anticipating that feeling at all...and I'm sure it'll change once again when Maya finishes her internship and comes home in April..but for now...it's different.

Oh...and if Paul still needs a place to lay his head the odd night that he's not at the girlfriend's family house...well, there will be room....we haven't forgotten him....but..he's not the homebody anymore...the guy that didn't leave his computer for days on end...he's out and about, he has a life...just as it should be for a grown man...another change in this mother's heart....letting them go...one of the hardest things....but you put on your game face and you forge ahead....sometimes they get upset when you make these plans without them...but, as mom you have to....in their mind, they want to move on but they don't seem to like it too much when you do....they don't like seeing you make changes that don't include them..they feel you are shutting them out...you're not....but just as they are moving on, so must you...it's the circle of life....everything is in motion, and you go with the flow....

...all for now, from this old house.....and this old mom.....

My house....it's a very, very fine house..with...

2011-02-11T07:54:00.004-05:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

I'm quite annoyed with myself because I just realized that I forgot to get Maya's Costa Rica pics put on my computer so I could show you some! Next Week For Sure! Some of the pics are quite good...she got better at photography as time went on....she has some amazing sunset pics ....they have incredible sunsets there in Costa Rica...in fact, the camp program has a definite activity each day...entitle 'sunset'...everyone gathers in one area, watches the sunset and sings praise choruses...neat eh? Maya had a wonderful time and would have loved to have stayed longer...she wasn't minding the temps in the high 70's, low 80's at all! It took her forever to get home though....it would seem that Houston was having some problems with ice....and since they don't get that very often they struggled with getting their planes off the ground...Maya's travel route was thru Houston..so, the the morning of departure they left camp at 5 a.m. to catch a 7:30am flight out of San Jose.....which meant of course they were up by 4:30am....when they got to the airport they found that their flight had been cancelled from Houston's standpoint...they sat at the airport all day and got on a 4 pm flight...landed in Houston just after 7pm.....then waited til 8am the following morning for their flight to Detroit! Maya found that the floor at Houston airport isn't really conducive to very much sleep! They landed in Detroit about 11am and then started the long drive home...she should have been in our area about 4:30pm for pick up but due to snow and highway conditions, didn't arrive til 7:30pm...then it took us a whole hour to get home from the pick up! All in all, she was travelling for 39 hours! ....and she still had a smile on her face...that's our Maya!

So, this week we're putting the finishing touches on Ben's room...it's taken forever...we moved the guy out into another room sometime in November....but hubby only has so many hours in the day..when you add in his day job, his teaching job and doing the churches 'books'....well, I think he's done pretty well at getting it all done....we just have to get Ben a new mattress and boxspring...he now has a double size bed instead of a twin...and he should be able to move back in! I'm in the middle of painting the logo for the Toronto Blue Jays baseball team on one wall...Ben is a big fan and especially asked for it....it wont be of the same caliber as Rachels work but Ben likes it, so I guess that's all that matters!

We had a tiny bit of money left from our deck project, the deck that didn't happen.....quick recap...since we put on the additions on our house almost five years ago I've wanted to enlarge the deck..right now it's just 12' x 12' and when you put up the table and chairs..well, there isn't room for anything else...I wanted some sitting/lounging area...so last year out income tax refund was larger than usual and we set aside some of it to do just that...well, summer came and went and the job didn't get done (see last paragraph indicating hubby's busy timetable)..then in the fall...both vehicles needed new tires....8 tires are a ton of money...didn't know what to do...you have to be safe...so...I quickly weighed safety over lounging and safety won...there went the deck money! When we did Ben's room, which is in the basement, it, of course, has a concrete floor....I was going to paint it but the guy at Home Depot described this complicated procedure for 'pargeing' the floor before you paint...it sounded very intense..the guy must have seen the panic look in my eyes because he took me to the flooring area and showed me some vinyl flooring..you put it down similar to a laminate..and it's good for moist conditions...it does look really nice on Ben's floor..we opted for a non-wood look...kind of a dark grey with bits of blue in it....he loves it!

Well, in this great bedroom turnaround ...that we haven't explained to the kids yet....Emma's room...which is also in the basement....will become Emma's/guest room...we are moving a double size bed into her room (that is now in a smaller room..which is too small for when Jenn and Ryan and baby and doggie visit)....so, I said to hubby last weekend...'is there any money left in the deck account?'...he said 'a little'...I said, 'enough to put that vinyl flooring in Emma's/guest room?' he thought so...yea!...So yesterday, I purchased the required product and hopefully this Saturday hubby will get a good start on it! Once he gets started it really doesn't take a long time to get down......then...the great bedroom shuffle will begin! I am thrilled to my toes!!!! You see...we have a small bungalow, built about 60 years ago with three small bedrooms on the main floor.....as our family grew we worked on the basement unfinished space and put in 2 bedrooms and a 3 piece bath....then, when we put on the additions, we dug out the foundation also....under one addition we put another bedroom (the other is just a storage room)...so...that gives us three up and three down.....the bedrooms on the main floor are ours, Megan and Maya's.....well, unbeknownst to Megan...she will be moving to the new bedroom downstairs...aka Paul's/guest room, that Ben is using right now (it has the old double bed).....but that double bed will be going into Emma's room...which is a larger bedroom, to become the Emma's/guest bedroom...with me so far?....then Megan's room will become my quilting room!!!! Now do you see why I'm thrilled to my toes....yes!!! I haven't explained all this to the girls yet....it'll just start 50 million questions that I prefer to delay for as long as possible....

So, ya..that's what's going on at my house...how's things at yours?

Checking in...

2011-02-04T08:54:00.002-05:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

How is everyone today? We had our big storm this week...left us with about a foot of snow...thank the Lord it was the day before the kids were due back to school...by the next day everything was cleaned up enough for them to start their second semester!!! Yay!!!! It is the most wonderful time of the year....

Beautiful Maya is coming home today!!! I can't wait to see her and hear all about Costa Rica...I've been doing a little mom panic the last few days cause I haven't heard anything from her, directly thu Facebook IM or indirectly thru their blog...since last Friday night....I know she'll have mixed feelings about leaving the beautiful place she's been in and coming back to these minus temperatures...but at least she wont be scared to fly today! They are scheduled to fly into Detroit at 6 p.m. today, so they probably wont hit our area til going on midnight....sounds like a late night tonight! She says she's taken lots of pictures so I'll have to get them on my computer and show you some.

Other than that there's not too much going on..son Corey is still in jail...wont be released til April....I hope he learns something from this, this time...but I doubt it....time will tell.

Hope you guys have a great weekend!

What would you really....

2011-01-28T08:30:00.003-05:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

When I was growing up, we didn't have a lot of money...I can vividly remember my dad coming home with a smile on his face....he reached into his pocket and came out with ....chocolate bars....oh, the excitement....four chocolate bars, displayed in his hand, in an arc, like a deck of cards....sister and I were so excited!! My dad worked hard at a steel company and at a coke ovens...he'd come home covered in black soot...I remember him washing up at the kitchen sink...getting all clean. When we moved out to the 'country'..(now it's the suburbs that everyone wants to live in)...he would work all day, come home at the stroke of 5 p.m., and we'd sit down to eat. Supper was suppose to be ready at 5, cause dad had work to do....he'd usually spend any remaining daylight hours working outside.....doing yard work, rototilling the soil....

.....today, most men have different days, days filled with stuff that usually of course, our fathers didn't have..it wasn't even invented yet....computers...televisions...oh yes, we had televisions, but they were black and white, you might get 2 or 3 stations, you had to get up off your duff to change the station...you actually had to wait for the t.v. to 'warm up' after you turned it on before you could watch anything! Now, you can actually work on your computer while you watch the t.v.! Quite often, that's what my hubby is doing....because he wants to spend time with me, he'll often bring his laptop , sit down beside me and 'watch' the t.v. too. He doesn't go out and rotortil the garden but he does work in the evenings...just different kind of work..but works, just the same....

Hubby and I don't have a lot of money either...of course, our kids think we do...they think we are holding out on them.....that if we really wanted to help them, we'd just give it to them...or buy them this, or that.....which I'd really love to do....if I could....I'd also love to be able to give more to more charities...there are so many worthwhile ones out there..especially the ones in other countries that help children.....

I watched some guys on tv last night claim their lottery prize...that they won 7-8 years ago....apparently the small convenience store owners that sold them the ticket, cheated them out of their winnings..they were eventually found out and sent to jail....the guys were finally able o collect...over 2 million each!! What would I do with that much money???

Well, first...I'd pay off our mortgage, line of credit, charge cards....have absolutely no debt..wouldn't that be a wonder after almost 38 years of marriage! Then I'd go down my kids, one by one, all nine of them, and take care of their debt...school loans are a biggy....then I'd want to get a professional family photograph portrait done...(they're sooo expensive), then I'd take all the kids, and grandkids on a holiday...somewhere, something really special....then I'd give to the charities that I always wanted to give...sponsor some more Compassion kids...then,...whatever was left would go for our retirement (something that is a concern right now since we have virtually nothing saved and people, we are getting up there ya know!)

So, where is that pin to pop that bubble? Hubby and I don't ever play the lottery...so, there's really no chance of ever winning and doing all that...but some days, it's nice to dream..just for a few minutes.....then we get on with real life.....stretching the pennies to get from one pay check to another, trying to see how many days I can go without moving the van so the gas gauge needle doesn't go even lower, trying to meet the material needs of four teens....not easy....for instance, every month Megan comes home from school and for several days 'reminds' me that teacher wants the snack money.....in the special needs class that her and Ben attend, they shop for snacks every month and then the kids are learning about shopping and preparing snack food.....the 'donation' is the term they use at the beginning of the year...but every month the teacher is at the kids to bring their money in...well, sometimes I just don't have an extra $40 in the budget...so, I just ignore it...maybe next month...I really think they need to change their word terminology here though cause obviously it's not a donation.!

So, financially, this is my life and I'm okay with that....I grew up with it....it's fun to dream sometimes as long as we don't let the dreams rule us and spoil our joy....we do get little and big perks along the way...the Lord gives us these little pleasures just as we would want to do it for our kids..if we could...I hope they realize that if we could that we'd do it in a heart beat...but if I could do stuff like that for them, I'd rather do these things...I'd get more students for Leslie's Musikgarten classes, I'd find Ryan a teaching job, I'd fine some way to keep Corey out of jail and functioning in a 'regular' life, I'd pay off Lauren's debt and help her go back to school, I'd help Paul find the perfect job that would satisfy his heart, I'd help Ben find a really nice group home to live in and a job that would make him feel good about himself, I'd help Maya find a full time job when she was done with this internship that she's on, something to encourage her and make her feel good about herself, I'd help Emma to find out who she really is, that she's worth more than she thinks she is and she wouldn't settle for second rate, and I'd help Megan find a lovely group home that she would feel at home in and loved.

That's what I'd really like to do....just the musings of my heart and mind today...what would you really like to do?

'Big Huge Elephant Feet running thru my mind....

2011-01-21T08:24:00.003-05:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Sorry, I just finished my morning tea, so I'll just get into my post....my hubby just asked me what I was going to write about....I'm not sure...a lot of things going on in my brain! Today is his Friday off but he has a dentist appointment this morning...I'm not sure what we'll do with the rest of the day yet.....with this super cold weather we've been having it really doesn't make my thoughts willing to do anything that requires going outdoors!

This week started out with a confirmation of something that I've been wondering about for a few weeks now....I heard that my son, Corey has been in jail since before Christmas....our phone system that we use doesn't accept collect calls and since that's the only way you can call someone from the jail, he wasn't able to call us, we found out through a friend of his on Monday afternoon. On Monday evening I went to see him....it was hard....not sure how long he'll be in this time....

On Tuesday I went for a massage....since my muscle tone is so poor I have to have these fairly regularly, every 3 weeks or so, ....I've been having this tightness that I couldn't get rid of in/under my left shoulder blade.....the therapist says I've popped a rib! She worked at it but I'm still not sure if it's back in...she recommends getting to the chiropractor....sigh...always something with this body of mind....and you can throw in a dilly of a sinus infection too....sections of my left cheek keep feeling numb...quite painful...hubby brought home some Aleve...said..'give it a try'...so I did...not sure about it yet...do any of you use it?....I usually just do a combo of Tylenol and Advil. 2 of each, extra strength at a time...but of course they wear off after a few hours.....

My mom has wanted to go to Bermuda for a very long time...before my dad became too ill to travel they used to go quite regularly...there's a lovely resort there called Willowbank...it's quite peaceful....hubby and I've been a couple of times.....
Since my dad died, she's been constant in her desire to get there....sister and I thought we should try before her mind becomes so bad that it wouldn't do any good.....sister and her hubby decided to take her...this past week, my mom was talking about it and said to me...why don't you come too....I was quite surprised ....sounds weird, I know but I'm kind of undecided....it's weird cause normally if someone hands you a trip to Bermuda (she'd pay) you would jump at it....me..well...you see,...I really dislike going places without hubby(he can't get the time off) ....but on the other hand....it would be nice to go with my mom..help out sister and her hubby...I'm sure that there will be times when mom will be too weary to go anywhere and that would mean sister and hubby would have to stay at the resort too.....if I went then I could stay with her while they went and did the touristy thing....in my mother's current state of dementia, she couldn't be left alone...she's already said that she'd have no problem catching the bus on her own to get to that village to catch the ferry.....oh, the terror of it all......I could read the headlines now 'Missing Elderly Canadian Woman in Bermuda'!!....so these thoughts are running through my mind.....

What else is there...well....hubby and I have our big, once in a lifetime trip to Hawaii the end of May....which is fabulous I know...but have you ever tried to get someone to teen sit for twelve days?? They're not really lining up at the door, ya know! So, that's a concern....I can't even parcel them out cause they still have school to get to and I can't expect someone to drive them....they have to stay home but I can't think of anyone that could move in for that time period.

This week I had to take Ben to see a social worker at the Children's Aid Society.....I forget what they call that in the states...something with the letter D in it I think....Ben needed another letter from a professional, confirming that he understood the finality of having a vasectomy done...ya, you read that right...Ben will be 20 in March...and yes that's a tad young..but believe me...you really don't want a delayed person procreating with another delayed person....that only equals 'another delayed child that gets put into the system' again.....that's not fair to the child or to Ben....my kids that have delays, like Maya, get very upset at their birth parents ....they blame the birth parents for having to cope with these delays...and it's not fair to Ben...Ben loves little kids..he's a great uncle....but he could never safely parent a child....they would just apprehend any offspring of Ben...and that would hurt him more. He accepts that this surgery has to be done. When you have delayed kids you not only have to protect them now but in the future also.
It's a hard call...but a necessary one.

Tomorrow, hubby and I are suppose to take my mom out for lunch...I hope she wants to go...when my brother wanted to take her out before Christmas she was upset cause the retirement home was having her favourite ....'liver and onions' ...ugh...and she was going to miss it...how anyone would get upset about missing liver is beyond me..but hey..each to their own....hubby and I've wanted to take her to this really nice restaurant for some time...in fact we wanted to take her and dad last Christmas but the dad became too ill to go....so...hopefully, tomorrow works just fine...I haven't told her yet ..I figured she'd just forget anyways....

So, ya...that's the things 'running through this old brain'.....for the next two weeks the kids are off...so to speak.....exams, the end of semester one, semester turn around and the beginning of semester two at the highschool...all take place in the next two weeks....if you're the praying type I would appreciate your consideration.....two weeks of Emma is really more that the mind can bear!

....oh...and hubby informed me yesterday that there's a really good chance that he'll be in Longbeach..ya, California...the first week of February for negotiations with work....he asked me if that thought would convince me to go to Bermuda...hmmmmmmm....

A Mothers Heart

2011-01-18T09:01:00.003-05:00

I went to see my son in jail last night.

I haven't heard anything from my son since December 19th. He didn't show up for Christmas dinner....he didn't call us on New Year's Eve....no matter how drunk he gets, he always calls on New Years Eve....but he didn't.

I tried calling the only phone number I had for him...it's the number of the woman that he lives with....she said he wasn't there...she said she didn't know when he'd be back home.

I tried her again and again...no answer...voice mail...I left messages.....

Yesterday, the mother of my son's son contacted me...she said...'I know where Corey is'

I said 'where'

'He's in jail.'

I said to my daughter yesterday morning...I think Corey might be in jail...I think I should call this guy that I know...he's a cop...maybe he could find out for me......

A mother knows when something is wrong.....

So, yesterday I went to jail...and saw my son....

His first words were...' Don't worry...I'm fine'

He and 'the woman' got drunk on December 20th, not unusual,they always do, they fought, they always do, he broke the television and probably hit her...she probably hit him back....she called the cops....he was arrested..

His 'video hearing' is tomorrow...he will be sentenced on Thursday....not sure if he'll stay in the local jail or go to one of he bigger prisons, farther away...

The biggest despair is this...when he finally gets out again...he'll probably return to her...he has no place else to go...he can't look after himself...whatever money he makes at odd moving jobs, either goes to drink or drugs.....he'd never have anything to pay his rent...to buy food....it's a life of despair..really....he's 27 years old...and this is his life.....

This is what saddens a mothers heart....

Little Bits....

2011-01-14T07:50:00.003-05:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Well, it's finally Friday...it's been a week filled with appointments everyday and this is the first day without any.....I'm sitting here trying to decide just what to do.....do I clean up the house (which desperately needs it), do I do some laundry, do I go and visit my mom (who I haven't been able to visit for awhile), do I try a new bread recipe, do I make some Irish Soda bread to take to my mom, do I just sit and work on my quilt....or..do I just sit and stare off into space?

hmmmmm...decisions, decisions...what's a girl to do.....

Lately, I've been battling a lot of fatigue and two health practitioners suggested it could have something to do with my thyroid (which stopped working years ago and for which I ingest a small little pill each day to compensate for it)....last year they upped the dosage of said pill so I really didn't want to go that route again..........so I went to dear old google....I think you could find out just about anything on google, don't you? Anyways, after living with this for about fourteen years, I actually found out that there are a few things I shouldn't be eating!! Who knew! You'd think that doctors might mention this little fact, don't you? At least 5 different sites mentioned the same list of negative foods that weren't a good thing for my non-functioning thyroid! Some are much easier to live with then others but the biggest ones are canola oil and anything with soya in it.......do you know that all our manufactured breads, salad dressings, a lot of condiments, chocolate bars all have canola oil, or soya oil, or soya lecithin (I can't even say the word properly!)...this makes eating somewhat of a challenge! So...I've been looking up recipes for homemade salad dressings, even homemade Miracle Whip, if you can believe it...and I made my first loaf of whole wheat bread this week! Fortunately, and my son will be pleased to hear this....hubby unpacked my bread maker that said son gave to me a year ago Christmas and I finally put it to good use...and it will get a lot of use...no more store bought bread....I'm tired of feeling tired!

On another note, Maya got to Costa Rica safely and is really enjoying herself.....she said she was nervous at the first flight but the second was a piece of cake! Oh no, I think we've created a monster!...now, whenever Don and I go away she's going to be in a bad mood cause she wants to go too! I'm really glad that she's been able to have this experience...she says the weather is great and laughed (she called on skype) when I said we were preparing fora snow blizzard this week! She is doing a lot of maintenance type stuff this week but apparently next week they work with the kids....I just pray every day that she'll be a blessing to someone that day. She's a good kid.

Daughter-in-law Jenn had a check-up at the doctor's yesterday...poor kid is overwhelmed with nauseousness and dizziness...but she did hear the hearbeat..160/minute and the doctor puts the due date the first few days of August...a summer baby....isn't that great! They usually don't have snow in Parry Sound in August so hopefully that wont be a problem, this time!

I guess that's all for now....hope you all have a great weekend!

Take care now!

Maya's Adventure!

2011-01-07T08:09:00.004-05:00

Good Morning Company girls and Happy New Year!

At this time, which is about 8:17am our time, which is 7:17am Houston time, this little girl...well, not so little , is in a plane which is over Arkansas and should land in Texas just past 8:00am Houston time!! Then in about two hours, her and the rest of the team get on another plane and go to Costa Rica! Maya, is scheduled to be there until February 4th

She called yesterday afternoon, before they were scheduled to leave the camp up north. She was complaining that her tummy hurt...she's never been on a plane before and she was starting to get nervous...so, I did the mommy thing and tried to reinforce what fun going on a plane is....that she was going to have a great time...that she was going to love it.....Do you remember how you felt before your very first plane ride? I do.

I was 42 years old...yes, that old...when hubby said we were going away for our twentieth wedding anniversary...I was very excited because we had never gone away before...can you imagine...20 years married and had never been away on a long trip, from our kids...not even once.....never been on an airplane...oh ,my goodness.... as the time got closer I started to desperately figure out just how long would it take to drive to Seattle!! Needless to say, hubby squashed those thoughts like a bug! Of course, we wouldn't be driving!! So, I did a lot of praying, took my Gravol, took some Immodium...and got on the plane....and except for hating using the washrooms on planes....I love flying now!!! So, I tried to pass all this wisdom onto Maya,.....but I'm not sure she was buying it! I wish she had someway of calling me when she gets to Houston...but she left her cell phone at home (not a good idea to take it to another country...you know teenagers and phones!)...and because she's not used to using a pay phone, I'm not sure she'll think of using one and calling collect...oh my.....my little girl is all on her own...well, really she's with ten other people on her team....and I was reminded when I woke this morning with that song going thru my head......You know the one, from Sound of Music where the older nun looks to the hills and sings "you'll never walk alone"..ya, that one....I know the Lord is with her...whether she's up north, or thousands of miles away in an airplane for the very first time!

Oh...and as you can see by the top picture, (even though it's a terrible picture of me) taken the first day we took her up to the camp up north in September....she's quite a bit bigger than me...

but she still my little girl...especially when she calls and says....mom, I'm nervous.....mom, my tummy hurts......mom,....I love you......love you too Maya....you're going to have a great time! We'll be praying for you! This is a great adventure...go for it!

Just checked the tracking map.......aren't computers great.....she's over Texas, approaching Houston......oh my....

The Special Gift....

2011-01-03T19:11:00.003-05:00

I rarely dream and when I do they usually disappear from my mind like a vapour upon wakening.

A few years ago I did have a dream that stayed with me...it was quite vivid and actually answered a question that I had wanted the answer of for more than twenty years. To this day, I really feel that it was the Lord who gave the dream...it was a special gift. I wasn't surprised at it taking over twenty years...after all God's time is not our time...his time is but a blink of an eye. I will not tell you about that dream right now but I will tell you about one that happened just this past Sunday morning.

At the start of this dream my eldest daughter Leslie and I were at a hospital...it was a very old building...one that I had never been to before. Leslie had just given birth to a baby but didn't look like she had...she was very slim and wearing shorts and a summer top. The two of us were sitting in a very long narrow room...it was actually a closed in porch of this old hospital....all along the exterior wall of this outer porch were the little baby isolettes...just like you see in a nursery on their little stands. A nurse was standing by one of the isolettes and told us to come over to hold the baby....the baby was extremely tiny and in a clear cylinder about 8" long and about a couple of inches in diameter. (I know that it sounds just too weird but please bear with me) While I was holding the cylinder Leslie saw someone out on the sidewalk that she knew and said that she had to go and talk to them...so she left. There I sat with this baby...after awhile I went to lay it back down in its' little bed, but the nurse said, 'Oh no, they like to be held - you should hold it...so I did.

The next scene, was in a huge room that had chairs all around the perimeter of it - my mom was with me...it was some community meeting about 'water'...what about it I really don't know but as we were walking to our seats my mom said that she was going to get a coffee. I was still holding the baby so I said that I'd go and get chairs for us...which I did. While sitting there, this young man came along and sat down...I was dismayed because I'm not one of those assertive people that feel comfortable in asking people to move ...but after a moment, another young man came along and said to the first guy...'hey, there's a couple of seats together over there..let's go there'...so they did.
Meanwhile, the baby started to move in the cylinder-it moved out of the top of it and started to get bigger...I said, ' Oh, you decided to wake up, did you?'

The next scene, the baby was a normal size and was on my lap with a receiving blanket loosely wrapped around him...yes, it was a little boy -- as I spoke and smiled at him, he smiled back.
Then I happened to look up and there, coming towards me was my sister, Adele, with a big grin on her face. She was pushing a wheelchair...not an ordinary wheelchair but one where the person could lounge , sitting sideways in it. In the wheelchair was my dad, dressed in hospital clothes with hospital sheets over him. He was smiling and at his right shoulder was my mom. The look on my mom's face was indescribable....she was filled with such joy that she just beamed...her whole face was wreathed in a smile.
I said, rather incredulously, 'What are you doing here? How can you be here - you're dead!' Adele said, 'He knew that you wanted to see him, so he came'.
'Give the baby to me' dad said, so I did and then I layed my face sideways on the upper part of my dad's arm, facing the baby, and wept. The tears just silently rolled down my cheeks.

And then I awoke.

I nudged my hubby and said.'Don, it's time to get up'...he said, 'no, I've set the alarm'...so I just layed there, quiet...thinking about my dream..trying to figure it out......and I think I have.

You see the last time that I had such a vivid, impactful dream was like I said, a few years ago...and it was an answer to a question that was always at the back of my mind for many years....I got my answer and it came in the form of a dream and I'm convinced that God gave me that special gift, that answer....and now he had done it again.

About 3-1/2 years ago Leslie had been pregnant but halfway thru the pregnancy, at about 18 weeks it was determined that the baby had died...it was a nightmare especially since the same thing had happened to me about 28 years earlier. Leslie was induced, went through labour and delivered a tiny, tiny baby boy...Leslie didn't want to look at the baby but I went with the midwife and we went into the next room and did look at him...even though he was very tiny, both the midwife and I thought he was a boy. His name was Hayden.

My sister Adele, was the last person to see my dad alive, so that's why she should be the one to bring him to me. Dad was still in the hospital the last time I saw him alive, dressed in a hospital gown with sheets over him.

My mom has been very lonely without my dad and her greatest joy would be to be reunited with him.

Since my dad died, my greatest heartache was that I had wanted to see him one more time while he was still alive...I didn't and it bothered me so much....the Lord knew that this was my great desire and he gave me this beautiful gift, this gift of seeing my dad just one more time.

My dad always loved to hold his new grandbabies...and he never got to hold Hayden...well, now he did.

So, I hope you don't think that I'm totally weird...because I will admit to you that this dream made me feel so good....much better than I have in months.....I saw my dad....one more time.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T14:31:00.003-05:00

Well, a Happy New Year to one and all!

It's been awhile since I posted....life has a way of getting in the way of doing the things you like...for instance, I haven't been able to do one bit of quilting this whole darn holiday!!! Priorities, please people!!

I will admit to you that this holiday was the hardest one that I've ever gone through....never in a million years did I think that it would be ever this hard without my dad.....if you still have your dad living please treasure him...please show him how much you care and just how much he means to you...not that I didn't when my dad was alive but I didn't realize just how deep the pain would go, and I'd give anything to wrap my arms around him just one more time.

I was really slow in doing the Christmas shopping this year...just kept putting it off..until two weeks before Christmas I was in despair because I only had stuff for the grands and nothing for the kids....I couldn't figure out why...I'm one of these people that starts planning in the summer and purchasing in the fall to spread it out so it's easier on our bank account...not this year...as I pondered this I realized that by putting it off, I was actually putting Christmas off....I didn't want it to happen...I poured it on and had all the shopping done by Christmas eve.

One of the gifts that I wrapped and put under the tree was a watch that used to belong to my dad....it was given to him by his place of employment when he retired. I found it while cleaning out mom and dad's house and thought that I'd just keep it for a while...it occurred to me when eldest son successfully defended his thesis a few weeks ago that he might like it. I knew my dad would be thrilled and very proud that Ryan had become 'a doctor' after all his years of hard work...my dad was a hard worker, and he respected those who worked hard to achieve a goal. I knew my dad would be pleased so I took it to the watchmaker and had a new battery put in and put it under the tree. Ryan is my traditional child.....I knew he would appreciate it and I hope he treasures it as much as I did.

Someone asked me last week what my most favourite gift was....I would have to say that it was the envelope in the Christmas tree that Ryan wanted me to open first....so I did...inside was something wrapped quite well....as i tugged at the wrapping I caught a glimpse of an ultrasound picture and I instantly knew that it was of my very newest grandbaby!! As you know, Ryan and Jenn were expecting earlier but had a miscarriage.....we are praying that this little one grows safe and strong and hopefully, Lord willing will be born part way thru the summer months. There was nothing else that could have had a positive impact on me as that on such a difficult day...Praise the Lord!

Corey, number two son did not show up for Christmas dinner even though he said he was planning to....I haven't heard anything from him...I tried calling but his significant other said he wasn't there and didn't know when to expect him...he usually calls on New Years Eve but we didn't hear from him either...he's definitely one of my kids that's wandering in the wilderness.....I wish I could help him in some way but he's truly messed.

So that's the holidays...today we're having a little dinner for Maya who is leaving tomorrow to go back to camp up north and then on Thursday she and her team will be travelling to Detroit to catch their flight early Friday morning to Houston and then on to Costa Rica. The team will be there until February 4. It's a new experience for her and for this momma....but as usual I'll put on my acting face and send her out for this greatest and newest adventure!

Have a happy new year one and all!

My Son the Doctor!

2010-12-17T08:12:00.003-05:00

Good Morning Company Girls!!

Well, this week I have wonderful news to tell you about so I'm going to start off with that right away! Last Friday was hubby's alternate Friday off and we were able to travel to Toronto...which is about an hour away from here. Toronto is a very busy and for me, confusing city....to say it intimidates me would be an understatement! I was glad it was hubby's day off because that means he was able to do the driving! If he hadn't then I would have gathered up my courage and made the trek to the big city myself if I had to because my eldest son was defending his doctoral thesis!!!! Yes, can you believe it...a very exciting day, to be sure. I had never been to a 'defense' before..didn't know what to expect..didn't even know what to wear! Fortunately we left in plenty of time to find parking and get in there before it started because they had signs posted that latecomers would not be admitted! I knew my daughter-in-law, Jennifer would be disappointed at this because she had hoped that hubby would be able to slip out part way through the defense, and take the baby and she would be able to come in and observe her hubby, at this pivotal part in their lives. I felt bad for her, if it was my hubby I certainly would want to be in there! Anyways, if you've never been to a 'defense', I'll give you a brief overview....in this room, a little bigger than most living rooms...and placed in the centre there is a long table with chairs. Six chairs are placed with water glasses at each place and a pitcher of water in the middle. Also, in the middle of the table was one of those 'spider' speaker phones that you see on television shows...this is needed because one of the questioning professors lives and teaches in Michigan and would do his questioning via speaker phone.

At first, it was just hubby and I and Ryan in the room....slowly, other men started coming in...these were the other professors...and last to come in was another professor who was the chairman of the committee. So, do you have the picture set in your mind? The next thing to happen was that we were sent out of the room! Apparently all the professors had to chat and decide who was going to ask what...oh yes, they had already got the Michigan professor on the phone.....so, we waited at a little sitting area for about ten minutes, then we were called back in.

Hubby and I sat over, against the wall and for the next one hour and forty-five minutes were quiet as two mice could be while we observed our son as he defended his thesis. Each professor took turns for approximately fifteen minutes asking him questions...'Why did you say that', 'What is the meaning of that section', 'What were you thinking when you said that'.....I will admit to being fascinated...I will also admit to not understanding everything they said...you see the topic was from the New Testament.....in fact I'd really have to get my brain working at even understanding the topic of his thesis,...Conjectural Emendation in New Testament Criticism with the Epistle of James as a Case Study. Say that five times fast!

When Ryan was much younger, like in elementary school, he was a challenge...in fact one teacher thought he was ADHD.....I questioned that...to me he didn't seem that way at all....they said....'he's always looking out the window, not paying attention'....I questioned Ryan on that...he said ' they teach the same thing, over and over for three days...I got it the first day'..ahhh, so there you go.....another thing he liked to do was challenge what you said...everything we'd talk to him about, or the teachers did..he'd challenge...we began to call it 'his word games'...he'd love them, you could tell...he'd also loved to debate....whether he'd believed in the topic or not, he could debate it and do it well.....this is the son that we cut our parenting teeth on.....he was definitely the kid that 'walked to the beat of a different drummer'! At first I thought that he'd be the death of me(so to speak) but when he was older I could appreciate his thinking, I no longer found it frustrating but found that it was a marvellous strength! No one was going to convince him to do anything that he didn't want to do! A fabulous trait to have when faced with peer pressure every day! So...you get the general idea of the personality of my son...which hasn't changed a lot in this thirty-four year old man!

After the professors had their allotted fifteen minutes then they went for round two...five minutes each.....then,...they sent us out again!

After about ten minutes they called him and us back in again....the professor that was his advisor came and got us...smiling from ear to ear, and tipping the committees hand when he said 'Congratulations, Ryan!'

When we were all seated again, the chairman gave the official news, that other than a few minor corrections before it could be published, he congratulated Ryan on successfully defending his thesis!!!!! After fourteen years of post secondary schooling, it had come to this! To say that hubby and I were proud, was an understatement, really, words could not really describe how we felt.

As we were getting ready to leave one of the professors turned to us and said....'Well, you both did very well, just sitting there quietly and not jumping in and defending your son!' I replied, 'well, no, Ryan has always been able to express himself well, we didn't need to'.......I knew, and had tremendous confidence in him......I had witnessed it from the time he was a young boy, I knew he could do it....and as I sat there observing and praying, praying that the Lord would speak through him, that whatever words that came out of his mouth would be from Him, I was assured that all would be well.

Apparently, his convocation isn't til next fall...good grief...I don't think we'll be able to call him doctor before that..but...it does have a nice ring to it doesn't it?

Dr. Ryan Wettlaufer...cool eh?

Now, if any of you know of a bible college needing a really, really fabulous new testament teacher...please let me know...I can personally vouch for him..if that counts!

Have a good week, with last minute Christmas preparations!

A Christmas Memory...

2010-12-10T08:58:00.002-05:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Rachel's suggestion this morning sent me waaaaaaaaaaay back in my memory banks.....I had to have been only 6 years old. I went to bed that night with visions of Santa and sugar plums dancing in my head...as well as a loose tooth! When I awoke the next morning, I discovered it was missing!! No longer in my mouth, not in the bed..no where to be found...it must have been swallowed...oh no! I immediately didn't feel very good, I remember having a stomach ache...knowing me it was most likely my brain working overtime.....when your only six it does give you a moment of panic to know you swallowed a tooth! My older sister went racing down the stairs to see what Santa had left under the tree...in our family, Santa gifts were never wrapped but just displayed under the tree...something I will admit to continuing with my kids...after all, Santa doesn't have the time to wrap gifts you know.....anyways, back to my story....

.....there I was, sitting on the toilet with this stomach ache...the bathroom in this very old house was directly across from the top of the stairs....my dad was sitting on the edge of the tub with his arm around me....sister dear came to the bottom of the stairs and started hollering, telling me what I got...dad, quickly shushed her....he didn't think it was fair that I was stuck in the bathroom while she was having all the fun! I remember, even at that young age...it wasn't my mom that stayed with me...(she was probably trying to keep younger brother from tearing the place apart)....it was my dad...I remember being pleased that he stayed with me til I felt better. When I finally got downstairs I was so excited....a brand new Betsey Wetsey doll...ya, you guessed it..you gave her a bottle and she wet her diaper....quite the new innovation for a doll 53 years ago! The only other thing I remember about that morning is that my sister wrecked the cellophane on the doll box getting to what she thought was her doll, only to have my mom tell her that the blond haired Betsey was mine and the brown haired one belonged to her....I remember not being thrilled over having a wrecked box!

....I guess what I'm saying is the best memory of that whole thing was my dad patiently waiting with this little girl in the bathroom....being ever so nice to me.....it made me feel special on that Christmas morning.

I pray that on this Christmas morning that each of you feel very special in some way....we all need that sometimes, don't we?

Oi vey!

2010-12-03T07:53:00.003-05:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

I hope that the ones that celebrated Thanksgiving last week had a wonderful time....these two pics are of William , he's our youngest grandson, and he turned one this week...yes, he really is that cute.....

This week I did a lot of driving and on one trip to take Maya back up north, which was on William's birthday, I was recalling the trip I made a year ago to witness his birth.... oh . my. goodness! Never have I ever been more scared in my life as I drove through a snow storm for over 45 minutes and I couldn't even see past the front of my van!!! It was just me, praying constantly, knuckle gripping the steering wheel and using those poles at the side of the road with the diamonds on them to guide me. Thankfully, in taking Maya home I just ran into some very light, hardly there, flurries.

So, this week is one that I'm very glad is over....too much driving..really, I don't mind driving..it's especially easy in my 'new to me' van.....but it was a lot and at gas prices..up to $1.12 a litre..(if you multiply that by 3.79 then you get how much that is per gallon, if you don't live in Canada that is)......so, that to be said, when I took Ben for his shift on the Salvation Army 'bubble' or 'kettle'...whichever way you say it.....at the mall 25 minute drive away...I took a good book and sat in one of the comfy mall chairs and read while he did his 3 hour shift....if I could just figure out what to get my adult children then I could have been shopping...but....I hate shopping and so I hate just wandering aimlessly...thinking...'well, maybe they might like that'....good grief!

On Tuesday, Maya had the biggest adventure so far in her life, I think...she had to come down from up north because she had a specialist appointment on Wednesday morning at 9 a.m., hubby decided that taking the bus down into our area would be the way to go.....speaking of go...we have a fast transit system that involves bus and trains around our area called the GO system...good friends of ours, well the husband is a GO bus driver.....hubby talked to him and gave hubby the scoop on what Maya's suppose to do...it involved her taking the bus so far and then getting on a train to come the rest of the way...she was nervous...I don't blame her...I'd have been nervous too...but I did the mommy thing and told her that she'd do great, that I'd be praying for her and that it was a great adventure!!! Inside I was thinking...oh my goodness!

She did just fine.....very pleased with herself...and so was this momma!

So, on Tuesday, before I picked Maya up, I had to take Ben to his kettle shift, then take Emma and Megan to another city, down the main highway about half an hour away, for an appointment that Emma had...then back home, drop the girls off then out to another city on the other side of ours to pick up Maya then back up to the mall to pick up Ben....all that took about 4-1/2 hours...non-stop, go, go, go.....did I tell you I just turned 60, I'm old people...too old for this stuff....

Then, the next day...took Maya into the city for her appointment...stopped to visit my mom ...home again for an hour then onto another appointment in the next town...finished that at 2p.m., drove Maya back up north, stopped long enough to use the facilities, grabbed a hot chocolate and donut at Tim Horton's, then drove back, getting home around 7 p.m.!!!

Yesterday, I went to the naturopath...she wanted to try this treatment on me,...called Bowen.....it was kind of weird and I kind of wondered about it's validity since she didn't seem to be doing much...but, good grief..was I ever in pain by the afternoon! Then I had to take Emma to the church...her and I were attending a ladies Christmas dinner...I was eating and she was serving...(I was mildly surprised that she actually went!)...eldest daughter, Leslie also sang at it...it was a lovely dinner..turkey with all the trimmings...haven't enjoyed having that done for me in years!

That brings us to today...no appointments so to speak...but I do have to go and get some bloodwork done for the naturopath.....not my favourite thing to do...since I'm physically disable in my arms then they have to take the blood from my foot..ya, ouch!...plus it has to be a fasting one so when hubby brought my tea this morning, I had to remind him that I couldn't have it...he knew but had forgotten....so, I'd better go and face the music...it's the only way I'll get a cup of tea!!

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend...we plan on travelling north to have birthday celebrations with that cutie at the top of the screen...and his parents too, of course....then on Sunday after church, we plan on going and cutting down our Christmas tree at the tree farm...then in the evening, we plan on meeting with(just hubby and I) my siblings and spouses to celebrate my mom's 85th birthday!!!

Ya, tis the season! go, go, go....

2010-11-30T08:44:00.002-05:00

We were just getting ready for bed when I heard the wailing.....coming from downstairs....I knew it was Emma....she was once again angry with me.....

She wanted her 'friend' to come and sleep over.....she had already tried to convince me that this girl needed to come and live with us...that her dad was kicking her out...she needed a place to stay.......this is the same girl that used the 'b' word, for a female dog...which is fine if you're actually talking about dogs...but she was talking about me...just a few months ago....and Emma now wanted her to come to live with us.......

I told her that first of all...we didn't have the room.....she indicated her bedroom floor...I said that was fine for a one night sleep over but not an extended indefinite stay......I also said that because this girl was underage that she really should be calling Children's Aid ...they could help her in ways that we couldn't...they could put her in touch with government agencies that could help her to establish life on her own......the bottom line is that I didn't want this child in my home.....this is unusual for me....I've been accused by family members of 'collecting' kids....and I will admit that my 'former' foster mother heart wanted to help this girl, wanted to give her the mothering that I knew she had never experienced...but I just can't.....too much going on with Emma these days, too much going on with Megan these days, concerns for Paul, Corey, Ryan, Jenn, Leslie, Jairus, Lauren, Ryan P, and most of all, concern for my beloved....who works too hard....he doesn't need another teen in this house, especially one that we would have no real jurisdiction over....

Emma wants to hang out with school friends after school, on weekends....any time.....we say no.......these kids are the ones that claim to be bisexual, who post really gross pics on Facebook, most have the tattoos and the multiple piercings, the less than appropriate clothing attire....

.......I said to Emma, as she sobbed....Emma, when you were younger and you made the choice to go out on the road, get to close to a moving car, too near to the campfire and kept on having asthmatic attacks in the pool...dad and I did something...we kept you away from the road, out of the path of a moving car, stopped you from leaning too close to the fire and made sure you took your inhaler before swimming.....that's because you were making bad choices that would harm you...we are your parents, we love you...it was our job to keep you safe.....

......now, you are older but sometimes you are still making choices that are harmful to you.....hanging out with these kids after school (I can not control her hanging out with them during the seven hours of school time).....is harmful to you.....we have to try and keep you safe.....she just cried...'just stop, I don't want you to'.....'I know, but I have to...that's my responsibility, I'm your parent'....

Earlier, I had found a paper on the floor in her room...(she had left it in plain view for me to find)...it said (in her favourite colour)....there will be five new cuts on my arm for everyday that I'm not allowed to see my friends......I asked 'are you trying to blackmail me.....if you do this, it will be your choice....I don't want you to do it..but it will be your choice...and it's liable to get you onto the psych ward....'I don't care', she says........'well, it is your choice', I say.

So, as I sit beside her bed, at 11:45pm....I'm drawn to touch her shoulder, as she cries, to rub it gently....she cries out..'don't touch me, I don't want you to touch me'....I continue to rub......I say...'I'm your mom and I love you'.......

...a few more minutes pass...she says 'just go, just go'....and so I do....but, as I leave I gently, inconspicuously, move a pair of scissors of the floor, that were by my feet.....to under the bed...no, I don't think she's suicidal....I just didn't want anymore cutting...I didn't want the scissors there, prompting her to use them.....

....another evening past....another day today......we'll see how today goes.....

#1 Son...

2010-11-24T09:06:00.005-05:00

Ryan with son William on his shoulders...William actually enjoys his dad holding him this way....

Eldest son Ryan holding Flannery as she is now..... (I know ..I uploaded the pics in wrong order...adjust!)

Eldest Son Ryan holding his dog Flannery when she was a pup......

These pictures are posted because 34 years ago on November 25 at approximately 7:30am, Ryan came whimpering and mewing into this world .....it was a planned c-section, big sister Leslie's birth made that a necessity......she couldn't get down the birth canal so they were pretty sure that babe #2 wouldn't be able to either. Thirty-four years ago they did things a little differently.....you were admitted the previous evening to prep you properly.....husbands/dad's were not allowed in the delivery room......with Leslie, because it was suddenly needed they just put me out, general anesthetic....with Ryan I opted for an epidural......worst mistake of my life....I really should have known better.....I had two epidurals with Leslie...neither one 'took'....

.......when they inserted the needle for Ryan, I remember thinking that it was higher than I remembered the ones for Leslie's...but I was sooo nervous that I didn't give it much thought....until the doctor made the first incision and I felt it!! I let out a gasp...the doctor leaned over the drape and said...'did you feel that?'...yes!!!.....in went the local freezing...(they were prepared...that's a scary thought!)......I didn't think that I'd feel a thing....being frozen and all....was I wrong! It felt like they were going through my body and trying to come out my spine!..I lay there praying and hoping that it would be over quickly....a few moments later the doctor exclaimed...'it's a boy.....what?, I said (i had been convinced I was having another girl)...it's a boy!

They laid him in a little bassinet, and wheeled him over...not too close but I could still see this tiny, wee babe (6lbs7oz) on his tummy, curled up with his knees under him, and he was just making these little mewing sounds.....so tiny.....he obviously wasn't happy about being taken from his warm secure spot to this cold, sterile room....and it was snowing outside.....hey, I just realized that when baby William was born this last December that it was the snowingl for him also....they both came into the world as the snow came down outside....hmmmm.....

...anyways, it was quite the day.....when they had stitched me up they wheeled us both out into the hallway where hubby was waiting.....he was overjoyed that he had a new baby...hubby loves the babies.....we had to stay in the hospital a week...another thing they did differently back then...sections were always a week in the hospital......I ended up having complications from the epidural...some of the medication got into the spinal fluid and went up to my brain....horrible headaches....then the meds they gave to counteract that gave me hives! A birth to remember for sure!

Thirty four years later, that tiny wee babe is all grown up.....he's a good husband, a proud dad, a scholar....he's spent the last fourteen years going through post secondary education and Lord willing should be graduating with his ph.d. in new testament theology next spring...he's an excellent carpenter, he's made me many wonderful things....he's got a good head on his shoulders...and as his siblings will attest to, knows anything about everything ....he's going through a bit of a rough time right now...he's been trying so very hard to get a teaching position the last few years but these positions seem to be as scarce as hen's teeth.....he's discouraged...we pray for him every day....even little 2 year old Afton (grandaughter #3) prays everyday for 'uncle wyan to get a job'.....there is a job out there somewhere, of that I am convinced....I truly believe that God wouldn't have led him into this field if he didn't want him to use it to further his kingdom by teaching others....yes, I truly believe this...unfortunately, we want it now and our timing isn't God's timing.....it's all about resting in him, isn't it...easier said then done when you're discouraged..been there many a time....

God has a plan and His love has not failed me yet because I know that my Redeemer lives....because..

He runs to the weary, the worn and the weak (that's me)

And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken

They conquered death to bring me victory.....

....and I know my Redeemer lives!

...and he lives for everyone of my children, in heaven and on earth....He has not forgotten.....

Ryan....I type this for all to see....dad and I are so proud of you.....we are proud that even amidst your sorrow that you keep going....you are a responsible, sensitive, caring man.....all the positions you fill..as a husband, a dad, a teacher, a carpenter, a co-worker, a friend....and most of all to us...a son...our very first son......you have filled our hearts with pride....and tomorrow we wish you a very Happy Birthday....may the Lord shine his face upon you and give you peace, my son. We love you.

Happy Birthday, Ryan!

An Amazing Weekend!

2010-11-19T08:10:00.004-05:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Well, I've waited til today to blog about my amazing weekend last weekend because I wanted to share with the Company Girls that graciously read my blog......for so long it seems like it's all been doom and gloom, but not this time...the only gloomy thing is that I don't have pics to show you...I know...failed again....you see we got this new camera about a year ago and I haven't made myself figure out how to load the pics on my computer yet and well, poor hubby is usually too busy during the week with working three jobs that I don't want to bug him about it when he's finally home.

but.....

I can still tell you about it...and maybe post pics over the weekend when hubby has a few moments...

...well, if you read last Friday's post then you would know that it was my 60th birthday....hubby had made plans...hubby loves making plans! Just after noon on Friday we left the house and drove down to Niagara Falls.....it had promised to be a sunny day but so far it wasn't.....by the time we had arrived though the sun was shining...lovely because the hotel room he had booked overlooked the falls from the fifteenth floor! Gorgeous, breathtaking view! While we were getting settled into there, my cell phone rang...it was my youngest brother calling, which I thot was strange since he's an elementary teacher and he should still be in school...which he was...I heard excited kids in the background......and then singing! His class sang Happy Birthday ...chachacha! to me!! I giggled throughout the song...what a hoot!

Then, after a little reading time (yes, I had brought a book...(never like to go somewhere without one) we changed our clothes cause hubby said we were eating someplace over the border in Buffalo and we had to be slightly dressed up....
....at the border crossing, the guard, of course was very nosy...asking a million questions...asked hubby what he got me for my birthday..hubby said..'this weekend away from the kids'...the cheeky guard said 'well, if you hadn't had the kids you wouldn't have to get away, would you?'....nervy pup, I'd say! Anyways, then we went to Joannes, where I did a little fabric shopping, and bought my first official Christmas gift for little Miss Honour, my 7 year old grandaughter....a small Singer sewing machine.....the label said for 6 years plus so I guess that fits her.....I hope she likes it!

Then onto supper at the Asa Ransom House....an old house set up for dining and staying at...they had a few rooms ...but the dining room was lovely ..very homey....we enjoyed a tasty meal...during the meal, eldest son Ryan called to wish me a Happy Birthday......Ryan lives about 3 hours and a bit away from us with his wife and baby son....

Then we crossed back into Canada to return to our hotel...unfortunately the fog had moved in so our perfect view was gone! It was like being in a room surrounded by cotton balls...very surreal!
...but at 9 p.m. all of a sudden there were fire works high in the sky above the clouds...I have no idea how they got them so high...we were on the fifteenth floor and they were higher than us....we stood at the window just delighted to watch them...I secretly thought...'look at that, fireworks just for me to celebrate my birthday!'....(ya, I know..just a little vain... :0)

The next day, we had a leisurely morning...hubby insisted on room service for breakfast...I had a fit when I saw the prices and just ordered a muffin off of his breakfast order...good grief they sure charge a lot...but then again it was Niagara Falls...everything is expensive there!

When we checked out at noon we travelled slowly back home, stopping at the Butterfly conservatory...an amazing place with a huge amount of beautiful butterflies in a natural habitat just flying around...they even landed on me!

Then we continued on to Niagara-on-the-Lake, where it was tea time! We went to the Irish shop and had tea and scones...after that we walked around for a bit but it had turned quite chilly so we finally left....just outside of NOTL, there is a lavender farm...now, I love lavender and hubby had planned to stop there....a really nice young man who owns the place with his wife, told us all about the different kinds and invited us back next spring when they have a whole weekend filled with activities....after buying some lavender body wash, we moved on...hubby said we had to stop on the way home to pick up a birthday cake for Sunday...he had invited my siblings and spouses for birthday cake on Sunday afternoon....as we got closer to Grimsby, he asked if I was ready for supper...now I kind of had been thinking that something was afoot here....both of us were a little weary and we're both usually on the same wave length....I would have gladly gone home, put my feet up and had some tea at this point and I knew he would feel that way too....but..here he was suggesting supper out...after we had already spent all this money....hmmmmm......
....also he had been texting madly throughout the day with someone...he wouldn't tell me who....the plot thickens...
after some supper, we stopped by the grocery store and he went in and got the cake...and then finally we were on the way home...not without some more texting though....the texting was weird cause hubby doesn't usually do a lot of texting.....hmmmmm......

When we arrived home ..all the lights were on and cars in the driveway...I thot I saw son Ryan, who was suppose to be 3 hours away in my bedroom window! I said to hubby...'was that Ryan?'....he shrugged and said..'I don't know, I didn't see him'...as we were getting out of the car I could hear the grand kids squealing...all the windows were open.....

walking into the house...everyone was exclaiming Happy Birthday...all my kids and some significant others were there...(well, except Corey, but I really wouldn't have expected to see him.....)...then eldest daughter said, apologetically....'um we kind of made a mess in your bedroom...you'd better come and see'.....so I did......as I walked into my bedroom I was dumbfounded! They had completely redecorated my bedroom while we were away! They had all worked together, stripped the room, removed old wallpaper that had only been there for over thirty years!....painted the walls and ceiling......installed a closet organizer...had always wanted one of those....and eldest son had made, stained and put up a shelf around the perimeter of the three walls of my room, about a foot lower than the ceiling, for my teddy bear collection.....yes, I've had a teddy bear collection for years....and now I could display them all!

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!

What a treat....what an amazing thing for them all to do....even little Honour told me she had helped! They all worked together..all my kids to do this unbelievable thing...for me!

The next day after the siblings had left and we were all sitting around the dining room table....Lauren said..'well, mom..you only turn 60 once, we had to do something!'......

..and they sure did...but as I looked around the table, I will admit to getting a little teary eyed.....the thing that meant the most was that they had all come together, they had all worked together...it really made the last 36 years of parenting worthwhile....and that border crossing guard was wrong....if we hadn't had all the kids, life would yes, probably have been a little less stressful at times but....man, I think it would have been really boring and I would have missed out on this! To see my kids altogether like that...well, it warmed my heart and made it all worthwhile.

Have a great weekend!

Happy Birthday to me!

2010-11-12T08:52:00.003-05:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Well, today is my sixtieth birthday...yes, I'm really old! I actually don't feel that old...I was saying to one of my daughter's, just a bit ago that when I was younger, I thought 60 was really old! Well, now it really doesn't seem so.....although my eyes did betray me in the shower yesterday....

you see, when we went to San Antonio the guests shampoos and lotions were from Bath and Beyond...really nice Orange Ginger....so, of course, cause you are suppose to bring these little bottles home with you...that's what Oprah says.... I did...now the shampoo and body lotions are in these tiny brown bottles and the shampoo is in a clear one...I noticed just before I got in the shower that the conditioner one that I had been using was almost gone so I went to my travel bag and grab another bottle. After shampooing I put the conditioner on...well, it just didn't seem to go on the same way as before...it made me think...did I get the body lotion...I squinted at the bottle and couldn't see a darn thing...my glasses were on the vanity so I reached out of the shower, put them on..and lo and behold, yes, I had just put body lotion on my hair!! Good grief! So then I had to rewash my hair and go without conditioner...I guess that's what you'd call a senior moment!

So, fortunately today is hubby's alternate Friday off...he's made plans...anybody that knows my hubby knows that he delights in making plans to surprise me....so..because he had a few points left to get to the gold level for a hotel chain(Marriott)..he decided, with my suggestion, to book a hotel room for tonight at Niagara Falls! He also planned that we'd slip across the border to Joannes in Buffalo....Joannes isn't in Canada....to look at quilt fabric...he said that maybe I could buy a little....then he's made dinner reservations at some restaurant in Buffalo...I have no idea where..he wont tell me.....then we come back to Niagara Falls in Canada for the night...tomorrow, I'm not sure what he's got cooked up..but....he says he doesn't want to bring me home to the kids til he absolutely has to....you know it's been a rough couple of weeks with the kids...I really do need a break....so, that's it! Sounds pretty nice, eh? He's a pretty good hubby...I think I'll keep him..for at least another 37 years I hope!....oh....wait a minute...that would make me 97...good grief...I don't want to live to that old!

On Sunday, our children's program, of which eldest daughter and I co-ordinate, will be doing their Operation Christmas Child shoe box packing! It will be a full morning to be sure!..

so..that's my weekend...at least, I hope...that's what is planned, Lord willing, as my grandfather used to say.....what are your plans?

The Gentle Heart

2010-11-10T08:59:00.003-05:00

Maya is struggling....of all my kids I think that she is the most sensitive....the one that struggles with her emotions...they overwhelm her and she becomes a puddle. My heart aches for her.

Maya has called many times since she's been away....most times she is in a good mood ...doing well....but the closer that we come to Christmas the harder it is for her....last night, as soon as I picked up the phone...before I even said a word...I could hear her tears...her voice quivering....she's dreading Christmas without her grandfather....I am too, but when I allow myself to think about it it just makes me really sad, and sometimes tears will fall......she's also worried about her grandmother...worried that she'll go for another walk, get lost again or even worse, have an accident....

it's really hard to comfort your child when they're so far away, to reassure them that it will be okay...we will watch grandma, the weather's getting colder...she wont go wandering in the cold weather (we hope)....yes, we agree, Christmas will be different, no, it wont be the same....

...you hear the tears, the words seem inadequate, you speak softly, calmly...all the while your heart is breaking too....but you're a mom and you try to be strong...because that's what they're looking for, that's what they need.....

...she wants to go to the cemetery when she gets home at Christmas, she wants to see the gravestone.....I can understand that because in comparison to my siblings, I go there often...but I know Maya and I know that it will turn her into a puddle...

she ends the call by saying how much she loves me and how much she loves her dad...good words to hear from a teenager....

Maya's a big girl with a gentle heart....easily wounded....

parenting...it doesn't get easier as they get older, does it.....

Books, Kindles and the Anglican church...

2010-11-07T15:43:00.003-05:00

It's a quiet Sunday afternoon so far....the grand babies are off visiting a friend...they're suppose to come later to have birthday cake. Tomorrow is Emma's seventeenth birthday so were having cake today, when people are available.

I've been reading this afternoon...mainly because I overdid yesterday....we've started the long process of fixing Ben's bedroom....yesterday I went through everything in his room..really, Ben would qualify for one of those hoarder shows..anyways, did that...moved all the furniture out, threw out his bed and mattress...the bed was at least 20 years old....we've bought a new bed..a double size...he's quite tall, he needs it..when they get that tall they look a little ridiculous in a twin size....anyways, this old body is paying the price today so this afternoon, as I said I've been reading.....

....tried to get some done on the book for my book club that meets on Tuesday...we're doing the Joanna Weaver book....'Having a Mary heart in a Martha world'...very good but I will admit that I don't seem to be in the mood for reading non fiction this afternoon.....so after a couple of chapters...suppose to read four....I moved onto my fiction read....the latest in the Father Tim series (which comes after the Mitford series)...I will admit to absolutely loving the Mitford series....I wish I could live in Mitford, a fictitious town, I know..but I still want to live there....it even made me appreciate the Anglican church that my son became part of....at first, when he did that , I was very upset....you know when you bring up your children in a certain way, a certain faith, a certain church..when they choose a different way, or a different faith and or a different church..well, it's hard...you become very hurt...it's almost like they're rejecting you...but after reading the Mitford series and learning more about the Anglican (Episcopalian) church...I then could appreciate the parts that my son found so appealing...anyways...that's kind of off the topic now isn't it.....

I do enjoy reading, in fact I feel sorry for people that don't enjoy it....so, many times, growing up, when I didn't have a friend to share things with then I lose myself in a book, their lives would become mine, you could go off to different lands, to different families...for a few hours, you could just immerse yourself in a life that wasn't yours...I found it very enjoyable...and when the book came to an end I'd feel a little sad...the characters in the stories had become friends and I'd no longer be part of their lives. Many a time I'd wish the stories would go on and on and not stop....

Today in my inbox, there was an ad for the newest Kindle...I'm torn about wanting one...part of me does...(even though I can't afford it) and the other part doesn't...I do like the feel of a book in my hand, they become an old friend that I put on my library shelf..yes, I have over 700....and I can return to them, I can stand and look at them,...remembering stories, choosing one to reread that fits my mood...the Kindle or other such readers do have some advantages, one in particular is transportation...books are heavy...put 3-4 in my carry on bag and it's alright if you have a short walk between gates at the airport but they can get pretty heavy....one slim Kindle in your bag would solve a lot. But,..do I go away enough to justify the cost....no, I think not...so, I'll stick with my books...I did get smarter this time though..when we went to San Antonio last month I put the majority of my books in my checked and just chose one for the flight..plus a couple of magazines...never know when you might like a change in a read...

So..that's my quiet afternoon....reading...it's a good thing.

A few hours......

2010-11-05T08:00:00.003-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Well, how are you all doing? Personally, I'm very glad that it's Friday...today is not hubby's alternate Friday off...that is a definite draw back....I truly love those days....puts you in the mood for retiring that's for sure!

Last week I asked you to pray for my hubby and I'm very grateful to those that did....you see, that week, a few days before...hubby had an extremely stressful day and when he came home from teaching that evening he was confused, disoriented and couldn't remember anything. It was quite alarming! The next day, he was acting normally although he had a bad headache.... he (at my insistence) got his blood pressure checked and it was fairly high making me wonder just how high it was the previous night to cause the situation that occurred! Well, we got him into the doctor this week and the doctor did say that there was a possibility that he had a TIA . For now he's put him on a low grade aspirin daily and is sending him for an MRI. Unfortunately, there's usually a long waiting list so who knows when that will happen! The doctor did say that if it happens again that I should get him into emergency right away. So..it's a wait and see time.....unfortunately, now I have to work extra hard not to tell him too much of what's going on with the kids because I don't want to stress him more....very hard after sharing everything for the last 40 years!

So, this past week I went to quilt class on Monday...started hand stitching a new quilt...I think I'll give it to my mom...when I got the top put together the whole pattern just hollered that it was her style...it takes me about 6 months to handstitch a throw size so maybe by the beginning of summer I'll have it done...I'm looking forward to winter days, sitting with my mom at her wee apartment in the retirement residence, just sitting there sewing and keeping her company....

Tuesday, I had an appointment with a social worker that I see about once a month...I originally went to see her to get help with Ben but now she helps me....it's a positive relationship..she helps me to see the trees thru the forest..or vice versa...can never keep that straight....

On Wednesday, Don and I were suppose to have an appointment with Emma's counsellor but one of us (the counsellor or me) goofed up the location (she has two offices) and it didn't happen..it's rescheduled for next week...which is a good thing, since to add with the cutting situation Emma has now decided that she's bisexual...apparently most of the kids she hangs out with...you know the kind...multiple body piercings, tattoos,black clothing..you get the picture...are also bisexual...it seems to be the 'in' thing to be these days..especially when you see it all the time in television shows and movies....quite frankly hubby and I are really struggling with this latest development.....

Thursday had me taking my mom back to the dentist...this time it was just for a cleaning...she nearly blew a gasket when she paid the bill...all the while I was driving her home she was very quiet...when I asked what was going on she complained about the cost and whether it was really worth it to have this done at her age.....I kind of turned the tables and pointed out that at least she had the money available to her to get it done...some people don't....that got her to thinking that at least she still had her own teeth...I agreed that that was a good thing....I then suggested that maybe we could stop and have lunch at a restaurant instead of at the retirement place....she agreed and we had a nice lunch.
...later...that day...I took Emma to a talent agency that had spied her at a fair this past August..they wanted to see her...she was thrilled...I was sceptical but thought that if it was legitimate that maybe it would give her a different focus in her life...she really is a pretty girl...the interview went well..they're suppose to call next week to see if they can use her....

next week we have a few family birthdays...Emma on Monday and grandson Donovan on Tuesday..November is a big birthday month in the family so that by the time December rolls around you're thoroughly tired of birthday cake!

Today, even though it's not a 'hubby day off'....I'm going to take a day off......it's been quite a week....I think I deserve it!....I'm thinking of going somewhere and hiding.....last night I said to hubby.....'you wouldn't be upset if I ran away tomorrow would you...you'd understand right'....he said yes he'd understand but that he'd be upset...well, can't have that...blood pressure you know...maybe I'll just run away for a few hours.....

Goings on....

2010-10-29T09:32:00.002-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Well, it's been an interesting week but I'm determined only to speak of positive things today so ..here goes!

I'm thinking.........thinking........hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........

okay...well, that's not happening......

...so, I'll stick to the facts... :0)

* today eldest daughter is leaving her family and flying to ...wait for this....TEXAS! ...all by herself!.....she even has a layover...somewhere.....I think she's a little concerned about travelling on her own ..but I know she'll handle it just fine....hey...she has four little kids..she can handle anything! She's flying into DFW to partake in a music workshop for her Musikgarten classes that she teaches...this will allow her to add a different age level to her teaching classes....

* this weekend, I believe is the cutoff date for applications/resumes to be handed into a college/university in our city that has a position that would be perfect for eldest son to teach. Now, we're just praying that the Lord thinks it's the perfect spot for Ryan also. Ryan has his own blog...it's for professional reasons...not a chatty one like mine...but I was very impressed with it......I'd hire him...but then I'm a tiny bit biased......you should go and look at it...(it's also got some really cute pics of my grandbaby).... http://ryandwettlaufer.blogspot.com/

*today, we need to go up to where we camp, where Maya, third eldest daughter is working...apparently they've decided to move the teams' base camp even further north......so, instead of her being 2-1/4 hours away...she'll be more like 3-1/2 hours and I don't know how to get there on my own.....where she is now is a piece of cake...I've been driving there for over 30 years...but the new place...well, I could get there but I'm not very comfortable about it.....she wants us to come and get her guitars (acoustic and bass plus amp cause she doesn't wants to take them to the new camp), plus she needs us to bring her snow pants...apparently it's suppose to be a very snowy and cold winter...she'll need them....

*plus side...Megan went to her friend's house last night for a sleep over...that means 24 hours of respite from Megan...woohoo! ...sounds awful I know, but people ..you have to live with her..take my word for it!

*a friend of mine, Kelly just finished 6 months of chemo and radiation therapy for breast cancer....Praise the Lord! She considers herself a survivor...I'm really happy for her!

*because eldest daughter is going away..guess what.....the job she does in the children's program every Sunday will be mine...... oh. my.goodness. To say I'm NOT looking forward to this would be an understatement.....she does what we call the opening in the program..a 45 minute slot of high energy, music filled, game time, Bible filled, ...well, you get the idea.....did you see the high energy...ladies, anyone that knows me knows that that is NOT ME!!! So, I'll definitely be out of my element!

* this week I got to take my mom too the dentist...I can add it to my resume....I have to take kids to the dentist, the pediadontist, the orthodontist, and oh yes, took Ben to the Oral surgeon this week...he needs to have one impacted wisdom tooth removed next month.....and now my mom.....she has to go back too cause some of her fillings are sooooo old, like 25-30 years ,that they stopped doing there work (protecting the tooth) and now she has cavities underneath...goodness, makes me wonder about my old fillings..let's just not go there....geesh!

*I'll leave you with one last thing...not trying to sound mysterious but there's a situation with my hubby that we need to get checked out...don't want to go into it cause all the kids don't know about it yet...maybe it's nothing but just the same I'll feel better (I hope) after the doctor's visit on Tuesday...maybe you could remember him in your prayers..his name is Don.....thank you.

So, I hope you all have a great weekend......we're getting into November.....had a wee bit of a panic this week because Christmas is sooooo close and I haven't done any shopping yet...Lord have mercy!

Thank you Jesus...

2010-10-22T07:43:00.004-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls....

The last few mornings the Lord has brought a particular song to my mind....I find the Lord does that for me, especially in times of great emotional stress......when my dad died just five months ago, I had barely heard the news,and while in that hotel room in Chicago , the song that almost immediately filled my heart was one that I couldn't even remember singing or hearing for a very long time...in fact , I don't know when I did...maybe when I was a child....it was the chorus of the song that went something like this....

'I shall know Him, I shall know Him,
When redeemed by His side I shall stand,
I shall know Him, I shall know Him,
By the prints of the nails in His hands'

...and thru my tears and anguish I could visualize my dad standing by our Lord, smiling from ear to ear, no longer in horrible pain and I cried out....'are you there dad...are you standing with Jesus?....and immediately I had that assurance that indeed he was......

The last few days another song has come to mind....I shared it with my daughter-in-law because this week we found out that our unborn grandbaby was already with the Lord....please pray for my son Ryan and my daughter-in-law Jennifer as they struggle thru this time of despair, of walking thru the valley of shadows.....

The song that the Lord gave to me also speaks of our Redeemer...it was popular a few years back, sung by Nicole Mullins.....I've heard daughter Leslie sing it a few times.....it's a beautiful song with words that describe and remind us that when we try to limit God, try to put Him in a box that He's just so much greater than we could ever imagine...and even though we will not know the 'whys' this side of heaven that there is a 'why' and He is in control....

Who taught the sun to stand in the morning,........(it's shining this morning, as I type)
Who told the ocean that you can only come this far?
Who showed the moon where to hide til evening,
Whose words alone can catch a falling star?

Well, I know my Redeemer lives,
Yes, I know my Redeemer lives,
All of creation testify
This life within me cries
I know why my Redeemer lives....

The very God that spins things in orbit,
He runs to the weary , the worn and the weak ......(thank you Jesus, that's me)
And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken
They CONQUERED death to bring me victory!!!

To take away my shame
And He lives forever I'll proclaim
That the payment for MY sin
Was the precious life He gave
But now He's alive
And there's an empty grave.

...lift your hands with me ladies and proclaim. even if our spirit is broken, we KNOW deep inside that we are being held up, we can go forward, we can testify......

AND I KNOW MY REDEEMER LIVES,
YES, I KNOW MY REDEEMER LIVES,
LET ALL CREATION TESTIFY
THIS LIFE WITHIN ME CRIES
THAT I KNOW MY REDEEMER LIVES....

...go to utube and listen to Nicole sing it...it's powerful ladies...you'll feel your heart soar thru your tears......as I think of my dad.....my unborn child Leah, my unborn grandbabies Hayden and now this little one...I'm so glad that Jesus is there...He's always been there, thru my doubt, thru my tears, thru my anguish.....

I know my Redeemer lives! Hallelujah....thank you Jesus....

A lovely weekend...

2010-10-15T08:05:00.003-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Well, it seems like forever since I wrote a post! Things have been surely happening around here!

Last weekend was Thanksgiving in Canada.....and we went to Texas! Ya, I know...we're soooo patriotic! Hubby had been planning this since Spring, the onlylong holiday weekend that we'd be able to do it was on Thanksgiving. At first it didn't go over very well with all our kids...'what...you're not going to be here!!!'.....but they did just fine without us...they even had a lovely turkey dinner with all the trimmings!

Anyways, back to Texas...last Thursday we flew out of Buffalo, did a layover in Maryland and then onto San Antonio! We arrived in time for some supper...hubby checked on his GPS for the nearest Chik-fil-a, which was in Southpark mall and we headed there. I do enjoy them....I wish we had them in Canada! We were staying in the Riverwalk Marriott (or the other way around....Marriott Riverwalk)......and it was just lovely....our room overlooked the Riverwalk....unfortunately it was right smack dab in the center of the two streets that run on either side so we got all the traffic noise too!...You couldn't leave the balcony door open at night if you wanted to sleep...plus they warned you that you could get crickets...or was it grasshoppers....coming in....I wonderedhow they could reach the tenth floor...but anyways....it was lovely and relaxing...not a lot of activity....until the next afternoon....oh mygoodness.....there was a ladies conference across the street....Women of Joy I believe...they had several thousand ladies at it....I was soooooo wishing I could have joined them! I don't think hubby would have liked that...although he was trying to figure out how we could possibly get into the little Steven Curtis Chapman concert he gave there! I'm pretty sure a goodly amount of the ladies were staying at our hotel.....I've never heard so many beautiful southern accents all in one place! I remembered that fellow Company Girl Jen from Finding Heaven was suppose to be there....I kept searching all the ladies faces to see if I could see her but all I really knew of what she looked like was that little pic from her blog....anyways, I didn't see her....I told hubby that maybe I should just stand at the conference centre when all the ladies came streaming out with a sigh...you know like the drivers do at airports....Jen for finding Heaven....this is Marie from And if Not..... but I'm really not that brave of a person...especially with thousands of ladies...I guess it would have been like finding a needle in a haystack!

Anyways....we visited a few historical places....one not too far from the hotel...I think it was the Presidents Mansion or home...something like that...the thing that excited me the most was the sweet lady there asked if we were seniors! Hubby joked that I would be in a few weeks so that nice lady said she'd give me the dollar discount as an early birthday gift! My very first Seniors discount!!! Something to put in the memory book for sure! This place did have the most peaceful garden area you'd ever want to sit in...I was wishing I'd brought my book...I would have happily spent the rest of the day sitting in there enjoying the tranquility!

We also had lunch on the Riverwalk at a really nice Italian place , we've eaten at it before when we visited....., hubby looked over at me and said...oh, no a bird just pooped on your shirt sleeve..sure enough...the perfect ending to our lunch....sitting outside, a table right on the Riverwalk.....right under an overhang..where a stupid pigeon decided to rest it's weary bones and clean out it's system....yuck! It was a lovely lunch...really....and the waiter was really apologetic as he brought me a wet cloth to clean up......poor guy..he can't control the dumb birds...

It was a lovely weekend...the weather was perfect, the company was even better! I do love my hubby..he is the best!

It was a very long day of travelling on Monday...we left the hotel just before 11 a.m., returned the rental car...got to the airport......left San Antonio, flew to Houston..then on to Chicago....a trillion hours of layover there...landed in Buffalo at midnight and arrived home just before 2 a.m. on Tuesday....yes...a very long travel day....I'm still trying to catch up....

Oh..and before we left for our holiday...eldest son and his wife called with the most excellent news...yes,..a new grandbaby is on the way....I see a new quilt needing to be made.....what fun!

Oh...and on the Emma front ...things have calmed down to some degree and we are(she is) going to weekly counselling sessions.............. time will tell....

Have a great weekend!

.....stupid blogger was acting up today and whenever I went back to correct a mistake it kept erasing the next letter...so in a few places my words run together...sorry couldn't figure out how to get it to stop doing that!

Riverwalk...ahhhhh....

2010-10-01T09:22:00.002-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Well, it's another lovely fall day here in Southern Ontario...the sun is shining!...We haven't seen too much of that this week...as usual, it's been a very busy week....appointments with dentists, went to quilt class where I'm learning how to make a stack and whack quilt, my siblings and my mom went to the cemetery on Wednesday to see my dad's gravestone...it was finally installed...looks lovely....

but today is hubby's day off...sometime today we have to get the grocery shopping done...and then tonight my one grandson, that I don't see very often..(his mom and dad aren't married and he's mostly with his mom), is coming to sleep over...it should be interesting since we really haven't had any amount of time with him since Easter!

So..have a lovely weekend.....I am buying our turkey today cause next weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving...I'm actually buying it for my kids to cook...cause we're not suppose to be here....next Thursday hubby and I are suppose to fly to San Antonio for the weekend!!! He used his 25 year gift certificate from the company he works for to purchase a few nights at a hotel right on the Riverwalk...I'm very excited and looking forward to it soooo much! With everything that has happened in the last six months we truly need a break from all the things we've dealt with and continue to do so.

Have a great weekend!

The Crazy Grey haired lady running around today is just me...

2010-09-24T07:56:00.004-04:00

Hello Company Girls!

Well, it's a lovely mild day here in Southern Ontario, Canada...and I'm enjoying it! I will admit, and I realize that it's almost committing suicide to do so.....but....I'm not an autumn person...or winter.....the only redeeming things in my books are beautiful coloured foliage and Christmas...other than that I'm afraid I'd jump right to spring! When I read my blogs....so many people rave about autumn and how much they love it!...me...not so much....I hate seeing all the trees go bare, the grass yellow and brown...I hate the cold...can you tell I'm not really an outdoorsey person?

So...today is a busy day.....I decided to have a family dinner tonight...usually these occur on Sundays but eldest son and wife and baby William are coming tonight....I'm not sure if they're staying one or two nights but....they are coming! (For those of you that don't know, they live just over three hours away and with our schedule and their schedule we only see each other once every 3-4 months...babies do a lot of growing and changing in that time!)

Plus in the last week there have been three birthdays in the family...first was eldest daughter's, Leslie...she turned 36 (good grief I'm old!)...then Laurens' boyfriend Ryan..he's been coming around long enough that he's part of the family, and then Laurens' birthday...(which I blogged about a couple of posts back)......so it's grand birthday time!! I was going to bake some cakes but ran out of time and energy last night...and today the roast of beef has to be in the oven most of the day.....it's got to be fairly large to feed all 16 of us! So, must purchase the cake today....finish the cleaning, pick up a small table and chairs from sister, pick up prescription from drug store, pick up Maya's guitar that I dropped off yesterday at music store to get string replaced, set the table, find autumn decor somewhere downstairs, finish prepping veggies, make Yorkshire pudding batter, and fortunately, in all of this, have a massage...that I booked 3weeks ago, before I even knew I'd be doing this today!

....and, if Megan's glasses just happen to come in today (please read previous post)...then I'll take her to get those too......when she gets home from school.....

So, I must get going....things to do, places to go, people to see...have a wonderful weekend!

The Glasses

2010-09-23T08:49:00.003-04:00

So Megan's glasses broke on the weekend.......tragic for her, annoying for us....just in case you're thinking I'm hard hearted...please let me explain.....Megan is developmentally delayed..she's our youngest at age 15 but cognitively she's 3-4 years old. Have you ever lived with a hormonally charged teenage girl who has the comprehension of a small child ..think about it...think about having all those lovely 'coming of age' talks with your teen daughter...and then think about having said discussion...again and again and again......that's living with Megan....so, back to the glasses. We took her right to the eye doctors when it happened but they were officially closed so the lady there just taped them and said 'come back on Tuesday, she needs an eye exam anyways'.....of course, since the break was just where the bridge meets the actual frame around the lens, the tape was really useless....so Saturday night hubby and I are trying some kind of super glue..which seemed to hold...we put tape on just to be sure....that lasted Sunday and Monday...on Tuesday she came home from school with them in pieces..again....

Now...before we left for the eye doctors she was going on about a new glass case...without a word of a lie...i told her five times that she'd get a new eye glass case when she got her new glasses....which wouldn't be that day cause they have to order them....we don't normally go to those places that have them done in an hour....I tried that for my glasses one time and quite frankly it wasn't worth it...the quality just wasn't there....anyways back to the cases, after the doctor did the eye exam and said her eyes were just fine....we went out to look at new glass frames...chose a pair....the lady said it would be a week before they come in...maybe if we were lucky they'd come on Friday.......and Megan opens her mouth...and you know it...says...what about the glass case....will I get that today????? Good Grief!

So yesterday, being Wednesday..she comes home from school....'did they call, are my glasses ready?' 'No...what did they tell you?'...'well, she said maybe Friday'...'is this Friday?'...'well, it's almost Friday'...'no, it isn't...anyways, don't get your hopes up that they'll be ready for Friday..it'll probably be next Tuesday'...'why, next Tuesday?', she asks...'because that's a week', I say.....'but I can't see to do anything at school'....'well, I'm sorry but there's really nothing I can do about it..we've done all that we can....you'll just have to wait'.....

A little later..she came back again......'why can't they be ready for Monday?'...'cause the office isn't open on Monday'.....'aren't they working on them?'...'they don't work on them at the office they work on them at the glass factory' (for lack of better terminology)....'will they work on them tonight?'...'no, they'll only work on them in the day'...'why?'...'cause they go home to their families at night...just like your dad does'...'but my dad doesn't come home at night'...'that's cause your dad goes and teaches at the colleges some nights..,but the people at the glass factory go home to their families at night'....'what about on Saturday and Sunday...will they work on them then?'...'no, is your dad at work on Saturday and Sunday?'...'no'...'well, then, those people deserve some time with their families too'...'but I need my glasses'....'I know...there's nothing more i can do'.....'but what about the recycling?'

'What about recycling'....'my class does it tomorrow at school....I always wear my glasses to do recycling'...'well, you can do it without this time'...'but I can't read without them'...'yes, that would be difficult but you can do all the rest of the stuff at school....now, go do your laundry'....

So, the rest of the evening, Megan...did her laundry, set the table, unloaded the dishwasher, played her game boy, ate her supper, made her lunch for today...all without glasses.

This morning, as she was leaving for school..she says...'so, this is day two'....'day two of what', I said....'day two without glasses'......

'Megan, ....last night you did your laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, set the table, ate your supper, made your lunch..and the night before you played the WII and had a shower......all without your glasses didn't you'...'yes'.....'well, you can still do everything at school today just fine'...

...'but I can't read my journal'.....'no...you can't read your journal'.......

....and my mother keeps telling me that I have the patience of Job...I question that...cause inside I feel like I really don't......

.....maybe you could join me in prayer right now that the glasses are really ready by tomorrow.....I would be ever so grateful......

The Ride!

2010-09-22T08:02:00.005-04:00

I don't know if I told this story before...but it's such a good one that it bears repeating. (Is that the correct way to spell bears or is it bares....hmm...I think it might be bares but you choose the one you want!)

Anyways, the summer of 1986, hubby and I had been a foster family for about three years. We were on our holidays and we had one little boy as well as our oldest two...the little boy was quite the terror so I really don't know why we were even giving this any consideration at all...but we were young and so we did. You see, we had been approved for one foster child and if you wanted to be approved for two you had to inform 'the agency' -Children's Aid it's called in Canada.....well...we spent our whole holiday discussing this....whether it was a really good idea or not..whether we could actually 'handle' four kids...(the Lord must have been having a giggle about that since he ended up giving us nine!) On with the story,.....we decided that we would...but quite frankly,..whenever I thought about it when we returned home...I'd get cold feet...I wasn't entirely convinced that I could do it. Finally, about a month later...I know, I'm a big scaredy cat...I called. It was on a Monday...I remember it well....I talked to the social worker that we usually dealt with..she was in charge of the babies..we were approved for 0-2 years old. She said that she wouldn't have time to come out that week to do our home check for another child...it would have to be the following week. Okay, I thought...that was fine....on the Friday of the same week, I got a call from this worker......she asked if we'd be interested in having a newborn....I was very excited...who doesn't love brand new babies....I said 'YES!"....she said that she'd bring this little one out on Monday....'but' ..I said...'we haven't been approved for two yet!' The worker said that it was okay...she come out on the date scheduled to do that......then the worker said when the baby had been born.....she had been born on the very day, the Monday...that I finally got the nerve up to call the agency!!

Now, some people would call this a coincidence, a fluke....me...well, I can definitely see the Lord's hand in this whole situation...he planned it all.....and over the next number of years whenever I questioned whether we were the right mom and dad for this little one, I would remember just how the Lord brought her into our family in the first place...and I would know that it was right.

Twenty-four years ago today I made that call....two years later she became our very first child that we adopted.....the first of seven...what a ride the Lord has taken us on...but I wouldn't have missed it...I'm glad he chose us!

Happy Birthday! Lauren Kristie Victoria!!

* the pic is Lauren holding baby William last Christmas...

Neverending Love....

2010-09-16T23:47:00.003-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

I have an Uncle Shorty....yes, he really is short....his actual name is Hugh, but I was told that he preferred Shorty ...he really didn't think Hugh was a 'manly' name...which is kind of humorous since he also name his own son Hugh! Uncle Shorty was married to Aunt Elsie...she was one of my dad's older sisters. Uncle Shorty was a neat man....always caring, always seemed much younger than his 91 years. When his wife was declining and she had difficulty moving he did everything for her..bathing , dressing, did her hair..even put her earrings in for her..so she always looked nice. Aunt Elsie got to the point where her speech was so slurred that people couldn't understand her...she needed special care in a nursing home but Uncle Shorty still tried to do everything for her..he moved into the nursing home with her..even though he didn't need to be in a nursing home. I'll always remember when he'd take her for a drive..after he put her in the car, he'd lean over her to buckle her seat belt for her....he'd say something to her and give her a little kiss. It was my dad that told me that he always told her that he loved her...every single time he buckled her seat belt for her! I was awestruck. About a year and a half ago, Aunt Elsie died and Uncle Shorty moved out of the nursing home...he lived in Ottawa for about the last 40 or so years...but his only son, his only child left (his daughter died of cancer 9 years ago) lived in Victoria, British Columbia. So, Uncle Shorty decided that that's where he'd go. I had mixed feelings at the time...I knew he was lonely, I knew it would be good for him to be near his son...but I also knew that I'd probably never see him again alive. It made me very sad as I hugged him good bye...but..I did see him again..he and his son flew back in May for my dad's funeral. I cried when I saw him come into the funeral home and embrace my little mom. He had been their Best Man at their wedding...now they both were without their spouses.

You may have caught that I referred to Uncle Shorty in the past tense, a few sentences back. That's because this morning he was probably giving my dad a big hug as he joined him in heaven....he was a great husband, father, grandfather...and a great uncle.

We will miss him but rejoice with him that he is with the Lord...and all the special people, his wife, his daughter, my dad...and a host of others that have gone on before.

Oh dear....

2010-09-10T08:27:00.003-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!!

Well, it's been some week...good grief!

On Monday we took Maya up to the camp where she'll be spending a lot of her time for the next few months! Poor kid...she was apprehensive but tried not to show it...I'd show you pictures but hubby still hasn't put them on...... I casually said to him the other night...um...do you think you would have time to put my picture gallery back on (from the external hard drive) this evening? He looked at me rather sheepishly and replied...'well, I'm not quite sure how to do that...I think I need to check with James..(son-in-law that took everything off my laptop and put it onto the external hard drive to begin with!)....I was confused...I said 'well, then how come you told him you could put it back on...no problemo!???' Good grief....well, anyways...no pics of Maya looking cautiously pleased to be at her new place. Hopefully this gets worked out very soon!

On Tuesday the other three started off to school...took a pic of that too...wasn't going to given that they're all so darn big now...but one of them said before they left 'aren't you going to take our picture...you always take our picture...it's tradition!' So..I dutifully got the camera out....hopefully you'll see that too...someday.....

Wednesday I went to the dentist...no..not for me..but to watch over grandgirls while eldest daughter had her cleaning and check-up...I will admit to coming away from there quite worn out...where do they get their energy! On the way home I stopped and visited with my mom for awhile........she's doing pretty well most times...but the nurse came to check on her when she didn't show up for lunch one day....she was playing her piano...my mom says that was the only way she got through the three years that my dad was overseas (WWll) after they were married, when he was in the war.....so, the nurse goes in to check and there was mom, sitting, playing the piano...the tears running down her cheeks...the nurse started crying because when she checked to see the song my mom was playing it was one entitled 'Without Him'......now the nurse thought it was about my dad but it's really a song talking about Jesus.....I would imagine in my mom's case she was probably crying about both.....poor wee mom...

Yesterday...I did nothing, absolutely, positively nothing... I realized after a very poor night of very little sleep that I was in a tremendous amount of pain...everywhere....and whenever I got up to do anything, it just made it worse.....it made me extremely fatigued....so..I rested. Maya called to say that she had tipped the canoe she had been in with two other people....she said the water was freezing...I encouraged her to have a nice warm shower but she didn't have time before lunch to do so...thankfully she wasn't hurt and didn't ruin any of her new clothes or her one pair of running shoes she has with her...she was wearing older clothes and flip flops on her feet.....

Today is just starting.....the pain is manageable so far so maybe I'll get something accomplished! Although I'm not sure what...do you ever have one of those days (I have a lot of them) when you have so many things that you could and should be doing that you end up doing nothing because you can't decide what to do?

Oh dear, I think it's just getting back into the routine of things that's the problem....and if it isn't...well, let's say..that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Have a great weekend, company girls!

Letting Go...

2010-09-03T07:53:00.005-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Today Is The Last Official Day of Summer Holiday for My Teens!

Tuesday , Lord willing, three of them will get up early...that will be a departure for Emma to be sure who has slept in every day since we came home from Fairhavens til at least noon and most days, except Sunday, til 2p.m. ! They will leave the house at 7:45am and not return until 3 pm.

Maya, the one who is the eldest of the group (in reality Ben is but since he's developmentaly delayed and stuck as an 8 year old the rest of his life, Maya has moved into the eldest spot. I know it doesn't sound nice but it's a reality in this home and family.) Maya, Lord willing, will leave on Monday. The plan is for Hubby and I to take her up to Fairhavens (where our trailer is) with all her earthly possessions...because between Fairhavens and a place called Muskoka Bible Centre..a camp a little further north, those are the places that Maya will live for the next 8 months until the end of April. Of course she's very excited about the possibility of going on her very first plane ride to Costa Rica in January where the team that she's on are suppose to work for the whole month! I'm not quite sure if I'm ready for one of my babies to go that far away from me....but once again, I shall do an emmy award performance...it's all about the acting isn't it, when we're moms......

....have you thought about that...how many times your kids are going through a rough time...whether it's just a scrape on the knee, to giving birth to their first baby.....to moving out on their own to joining a fairly intense profession, to moving thousands of miles away to different time zones or just moving ten minutes away....how often do we put on our game face and plough on..cause that's what our kids are looking for...they're not looking for us to show all the fear and angst in our hearts that we can already see on their faces.....no, they're looking for us to be strong...someone that they can depend on while inside we're ready to scream and hold on to them because we know all those exciting adventures come with situations and decisions that they will be going through without you.....it's called growing up.....most moms have a problem with it...their kids growing up that is...in our family it really depends on the kid....all these times we are called upon to cover our feelings up and put on a solid front, as they say.

Sometimes, kids need to grow up and they don't want to....Maya is one of those kids. Yes, she'd love some of the things of growing up...she'd love to have a boyfriend...something I keep telling her to be patient about...the absolutely best guy for Maya is out there..somewhere...he'll have to be a special guy..someone who doesn't push her to hard...who doesn't expect too much...someone who will love and cherish her for the wonderful person that she is. Maya has a fabulous smile...it lights up a room. She's helpful and capable of so many things. I pray that any guy who comes into Maya's life will truly value her for who she really is....someone very special.

Then again...all my kids are special, each one unique...sometimes I wonder why God chose me to be their mom....it's like he said.....long before I was born...okay Marie, I'm going to give you this great guy to marry and you're going to have a few kids (understatement for me but not for Him)...some of them I will choose special to be born to you, one of them will live with me instead of you, and some I will pick out special to be born to other moms but really, they will live with you...you will be their mom. It will not be an easy mom role...in fact some days will be darn hard and some days you will feel like giving up....you will say you are done....but remember, I am with you, I will uphold you in my right hand, I will shelter you ...and I will give you strength.

Strength to rush a child to the e.r. who just burned her face, strength to comfort a child when his pet dog died, strength to let a child go when they make bad choices, strength to let your child go into the army, strength to let your child meet her birth parent (when every part of you screamed no) strength to go to appointment after appointment with a developmentally delayed child and hear those doctor's words that they'll never get better, strength to let a child go who you know needs this independence to grow but you're not convinced in your heart that she's ready (or maybe you're not ready), strength to go to counselling with a child and you don't know if it's ever going to get better, strength to deal with the repetitive questions, over and over and over, of why a child can't see her birth sister....a situation that was decided by others and you have no control over...a situation that because the child is developmentally three years old, the child will never comprehend.

So, yes, on Monday I'll be needing an extra measure of this strength Lord, because it will be hard ..it will be very hard to look into Maya's face and....let go.

Letting go...I think one of the hardest things a mom has to do.

Part of a Week in the Life of....

2010-09-02T09:34:00.003-04:00

Well, it's been a very busy week....hubby still hasn't had the time to put my pics on the laptop so no pics to show you. On Monday, I took Megan for her annual check up with the pediatrician.....he's at the children's hospital in the city, so it's a bit of a trek to get there. He decided that Megan needed some bloodwork and they prefer having it done at the hospital so we had to stay for that...after waiting for an hour and a quarter to have our number called, they brought Megan in to draw her blood. Megan's never had that done before so understandably went into a panic...the tears flowed, but through constant talking to her and making her always look at me and not at the needle..we got through it.

Then I raced home...dropped Megan off and then picked up Emma and arrived a few moments late for her appointment at the high school with the Vice-Principal. She wanted to talk to Emma about this years classes and about Emma's need to smarten up and perform better. I'm afraid I wasn't very impressed with the v.p., her little speech lacked any kind of substance....Emma just said yes, yes, and yes..and the v.p. said..well, I hope you have a good year! Then she sent her to the guidance office to change her classes a bit....
...so..after leaving the house at 10 a.m., I didn't return til 4 p.m........I would say that maybe one hour in total was actually any interaction with other people...the rest was driving and waiting...and waiting...and waiting...I was glad I had brought along a book to read!

Tuesday was a little more relaxing...went to visit my mom for a bit then on to my massage appointment.....I have this little problem with my muscles...they don't work very well and the doctor says I need regular massage....my massage therapist and I have become friends (I like to think)..we chat about everything..so it's kind of like massage and friend therapy at the same time! It was a lovely 45 minutes!

Wednesday, I woke Maya early because we still haven't found a bathing suit for her...had to go to a mall that's twice as far away as the one I usually got to but we had success and Maya got her bathing suit! We were also looking for hair clips...ones that were recommended to use to 'wrap' her hair around her head each night before she uses her hair cover...no luck with that but did find the hair conditioner to use on her hair that was recommended...on sale! Bonus! Maya didn't end up getting her hair cut last Friday...the hairdresser said that she'd find it much higher maintenance to cut it short...she'd have to flat iron it every few days and do all manner of stuff to it just to keep it looking nice. She ended up relaxing it and trimming off the dead ends.....Maya, although initially was disappointed that she didn't get it cut short, in the end was pleased with the results and has been finding it fairly easy to look after this week. It really does help to have a professional look after these things!

Today, I hope to go and see my mom then return in time for my grandgirls to come for a visit! Eldest daughter has to take her son (my grandson) for an appointment in the big city of Toronto...knowing traffic she wont return til early evening. Emma and Maya are going out with a friend in the afternoon...then Emma, and hubby and I have a counselling appointment this evening. I hope we get a few situations that have arisen this past week ironed out!

Tomorrow....well, tomorrow is the dreaded shopping day.....I know, I know...it's all in the attitude...well, when it comes to shopping for clothing my attitude distinctly sucks! Actually, there is some shopping I actually like...such as meandering through Home Sense...or places like that....or put me in a fabric store looking at the quilting fabrics...I find that very peaceful...but clothing shopping....ugh.....but I've put it off long enough....school commences on Tuesday and I can't have my kids looking like ragamuffins!

Have a good day!

Marie

Summer ending..........

2010-08-27T08:30:00.003-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

My goodness...the end of summer is coming quickly! I know it really doesn't end until the latter half of September but I always count the first day of school, which around here is September 7th, as the start of fall.

In the last couple of weeks I've once again had to endure major problems with my computer...son-in-law finally had to put everything on an external hard drive and wipe my machine clean and reinstall everything back...well,...almost everything.....it was getting very late in the evening when this was happening and hubby said he would install the rest...including all my pics...but that hasn't happened yet...so, no pics with this post!

My beloved Montana van which has taken me through thick and thin for the last seven years has been dragging lately.....little indicators that a retirement home was calling it's name, I'm afraid! The transmission has been jerking...not a good thing and a very expensive fix....the exhaust system died...I fit in with the teenagers vehicles for a few days....it was also going to be over $800 to fix, then my brakes needed some work...another few hundred, then all my fluids were dirty and needed changing and flushing..or was it the other way around....another few hundred dollars....another thing filled with carbon needed cleaning....the long and the short of it all was that the total would be close to $2000 to get it ready for winter. Hubby declared...'I'm not putting that kind of money into a vehicle that old with that many klicks' (in Canadian that is short for kilometres which in American means miles....we used to have miles back when I was growing up but some government person declared we had to go metric....I've never really got the hang of it yet...but, I digress....)......he sent me a link to many vehicles and after much deliberation we decided to try out a used (we can't afford new) Kia Sedona! We liked it very much....so...now the bank and us are on first name basis...once again...for the next six years til it's paid off! The van is very nice...has all the bells and whistles and a bonus...a sun roof! I like it!!

I can't remember whether I mentioned this or not, but daughter number three, named Maya...that just graduated highschool this past June...was looking into applying for an internship position with the christian camp where we have our trailer . Well, she did and was accepted! So...that means that she will leave home on September 6th and, except for two weeks at Christmas...will be gone til April 29th! She's very excited..she'll be learning many new things and making new friends as she works actually between two camps up north and one camp in Costa Rica (for the month of January). I think we're going to miss her around here...for the most part she's a pleasant young lady....needs to do some maturing yet..which I'm sure this internship will help with...but for the most part she's a good kid, with a good heart! So we've been running around trying to get all the stuff she needs for the next year! Not easy!!

Today, I must take her to a hairdresser that specializes in minority hair....you see Maya's had her hair braided for her, by someone else...mostly eldest daughter..since she was 3 years old. She prefers it that way...in fact, once we did straighten it but it was only a few days past when she was asking for it to be braided....she just isn't into the habit of looking after it every, single day! She's not a real girly, girl so different hair styles, flat irons, curling irons and such really have little interest for her. So...off we go today to get some advice and hopefully a hair style that Maya can manage on her own since eldest daughter wont be close by to braid it every week! I'll try to take pics and show you next week!

So...things are hopping around here! Getting Maya ready....getting school stuff for the other three....Emma has declared that she isn't going to school if she can't get some certain clips to put her extensions in with....quite frankly..her behaviour hasn't been stellar and conducive to me doing anything for her but sometimes I give in just to 'get her off my back'....I know, I know....what can I tell you...I'm old and tired. In fact..everyday she stays in bed til at least noon..sometimes even two...and I let her just cause than it's less time I have to deal with her! Sounds horrible, I know...but I repeat....old and tired...

Next week, we'll have more school shopping...clothes and such....Megan's annual check up with the pediatrician...Emma and I have an appointment with the school about her classes because she did so poorly last semester, Emma and I also have a counselor appointment, babysitting grandbabies, hopefully a chiropractor and a massage appointment...I think the week will go quickly!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

The Sure Thing.....

2010-08-19T08:18:00.003-04:00

The sure things in life...what are they?

As I sit in my bed this morning, my lap top on my lap (what a concept)....the house is quiet, hubby and son have left for work..teens are still sleeping, doggies are still dozing.....I think about this question.....

....in these days of so much unrest in the world, so many things that give you pause, that even give you angst......

...what am I sure of....I think I'm sure of some things......like the love of my husband, of my parents, of my children (except when they're teens!), of my grandchildren.....but when you think of it.....that all can change....after all, we are human...we make poor choices....we choose to fall in or out of love, children and grandchildren will disappoint, parents and grandchildren disappoint, people that we never really thought would leave us, do....the human frailties come glaring into our faces, into our lives.....

...we make plans for our lives, fumbling, fragile plans that we believe are strong and sure but are really as fragile as that white dandelion spent flower that we blow in the wind.....

...now, just in case you are wondering...no, some terrible thing has not befallen me...nothing more than usual......my kids are still hurting, are still struggling....that's what really brings a mom's heart down ,doesn't it...you want to fix everything...just as you did when they were little with a bandaid and a hug...a little push out the door with the words 'you'll be okay...just go and play'....

but...they're all grown up...have made their choices ...some good...some not so good......sometimes you say something...sometimes you don't.....sometimes you're there to pick up the pieces and sometimes ...well, sometimes it's just not enough....because, no matter how much you love them..each and every one of them.......it's still not a sure thing, is it? We'd like to think so but, really....it isn't. It's not enough.

I've been reminded of a song the last few days......it's really not even a song...it's just a few lines repeated, over and over and over again.....and this is what I am sure of.....without a doubt....no matter what I do or I don't do...whether I've done something bad in my life or good, whether I walk away or stay.......

Jesus' blood never fails me yet, never fails me yet, never fails me yet,
this one thing I know,
for he loves me so.......

it's the only sure thing...really, honestly, truly.....for it's the blood that gives us strength from day to day, ....it soothes my doubts and calms my fears....when all the humans in your life let you down, don't quite come through when you need them, when life is not going according to our timetable, the way we'd like it to.......this is the only sure thing....because He loves me so.

Holidays Done!!!

2010-08-06T11:10:00.003-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Well, we've come to the end of our holidays...we've been at our trailer for the last two weeks and tomorrow we plan on heading back home. It's been a good two weeks.....we've rested, except for one day that we had to go home for appointments. That's been good because we really needed it.....too much has been going on in the last four months.....I'm eager for the next month to go by and hopefully , as school starts on the 7th of September, things will get back to 'normal'...whatever that is!

Some of the grandkids were here last weekend which meant the trailer was hopping! They love coming to the trailer...sometimes, in a very crazy thot I think it would be great to bring, just one at a time though, (I'm not that crazy) to the trailer with us.....oh maybe when we don't have kids of our own here...believe me that's a handful and a half as it is! The contract that Emma and I signed at the counselors' office, before we came up here seems to have worked well.....whenever she started becoming 'unlivable' we reminded her of it and she seemed to smooth out. While we've been up here we heard about an 'intern' program, associated with this retreat centre and two others, for kids graduated from highschool...we encouraged Maya to apply and she decided to try it out...now we just have to see if she's accepted. If she is, she will be away from home for 8 months...just coming home at Christmas...something like going away to college but with a little more supervision..which will be good for Maya in her maturing process. We are and she is, hoping she gets accepted. This past week Maya went golfing and shot a 34....from the mens tees! That's pretty good! Unfortunately, yesterday while being the goalie in the staff vs campers soccer game, her hand stopped the ball and the ball won. So ...off we go to the nearest town and hospital where the doctor said she had torn some ligaments...not good but fortunately she had her arm brace from basketball, with her, and has been wearing that. She said today it just hurt a little and when her dad said it was a good golfing day (weather wise) and he might go out...well, she was all eager to join him!

This week it has been very interesting. The speaker/preacher that we have is from a big church in Ottawa. I've heard him before a couple of times and was looking forward to hearing him again. During one of his sermons, he talked about his dad......he said he was out on the golf course the day before and was reminded of the last time he had been out..about five years ago...his dad had been with him. At that time his dad confessed to him that he was having some problems with his memory....a couple of years later his dad was officially diagnosed with Altzheimers.....my grandma had that...it's a terrible disease......now, he says, his dad doesn't remember a lot...I know that after awhile these patients don't even recognize their own family.....I could see the emotion in the pastor's face as he spoke......at that moment I was filled with gratitude that even though my dad left us before I wanted him to, that right up until the end...he still knew me,...he could still tell me that he loved me....what a gift! Up here, at Fairhavens, I have a very good friend....her name is Anne.....Annes' elderly mother lives in a nursing home and for some reason in the last few weeks her mom has gone rapidly downhill...her mom, at the age of 87 still smokes...every day....now they've found spots on her lungs and just the other day, after she fell out of her bed...they did a cat scan and found spots on her brain.....this wee little scottish lady doesn't have very long...she also has dementia......Anne told me that the other day when her daughter was visiting the grandma that the grandma spent the whole time talking to her spoon......what the saddest thing about this whole thing is that Anne has been faithful in talking to her mom and dad about the Lord and before her dad died five years ago, he did accept Jesus into his heart....but her mom didn't and still hasn't. Anne is in despair at the thoughts of her mom dying without truly accepting the Lord....and now, how do you have conversations about it with someone who talks to a spoon. Anne wants to see her mom again, in heaven, with her dad.....We can only pray that the Lord will grant her mom some moments of clarity before she leaves for good. Once again, I thought of my dad.....I told my hubby that I'm so glad that I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I will see my dad again...another gift, isn't it...a wonderful gift of assurance....I'm indeed a fortunate woman to have received two such wonderful gifts in one week. I am blessed.

Yea Mom!

2010-07-28T23:05:00.002-04:00

We're up at the trailer this week...trying to squeeze in a week or two of rest......but...before we could actually get going, we had to come back down to the city....a 2-1/4 hour drive.....youngest daughter, who has cardiac issues needed to have her annual check-up....it was suppose to happen on May 11th...but on that day we buried my dad. When specialists reschedule appointments..well, you don't really argue.....hubby had to come down on the same day to do his very last class for this semester...the final exam......so, early yesterday morning, we left the oldest two behind and brought the youngest two and made the trek down.

It ended up being a full day....going to the children's hospital for the ecg and check-up....which she came through with flying colours..the doctor was extremely pleased.....then onto the car repair shop where they replaced my one front headlight ...and what a lovely treat...when I asked them how much I owed...they just waved me off and said 'nothing'...see...there are nice people left in this world!

Back at home, we had to make a quick trip to the drug store and the hardware store...grabbed some subs for our supper....raced back home....inhaled the subs and ran out the door to drop hubby off at his class....teacher mustn't be late you know.......than I went over to eldest daughter's house and dropped off the two youngest so I could go see that lady at the top of the screen...my mom.

She's been at a rehab place for the last two weeks...recovering from a fall where she fractured her pelvis. They had a meeting on Monday morning...they asked my mom....'well, do you need our help getting in and out of bed and toileting?', no, she says...'well, how about getting washed and dressed....do we help you with that?'...no, she says.....'well, how about getting down to the dining room for meals...do we help you with that........no, she says....then the lady asking the questions says.....well, then..what are we doing for you?....my mom just smiled.

My mom is a very stubborn Irish woman......she wouldn't give into this fracture....she kept pushing herself..doing the exercises...I think at the age of 84-1/2 that she's just amazing...so instead of staying there 6-8 weeks they say she can come home on the 9th of August...just 4 weeks after going there! It will be so great to see her back at her retirement home...we're all looking forward to it immensely!

So, we had a nice visit....she couldn't remember that she was getting to go home early but she was thrilled when I told her...but that's okay...I got to tell her again....she said at one point with lip trembling that she was glad dad wasn't here to see her like this....we joked about how he'd be getting after her for falling.......but, she's right he would have been distressed...but he also would have been very proud of her.....just as I am.

Way to go mom...ya' did great!

Ramblings.....

2010-07-21T16:27:00.002-04:00

A lot of things going through my mind today ~ for a number of weeks I've been having a problem with my stove...it's only 4 years old and we paid a lot of money for it...so this kind of bothered me that it should be acting up. Finally, one day last week, after I used it, the clock panel started flashing like it was on steroids and after frantically pushing everything on the touch pad it finally shut off...completely....nothing displayed...unless you opened the oven door...then the clock came back on....to make a very long story, short....I'm on first name basis with the repair guy now..his name is Dan...he's been to my house three time....the first time he thought he had diagnosed the problem, the second time, replaced a very expensive part and declared it fixed...the third time , he came back because after I used it, it was obviously not fixed! So, tomorrow he's suppose to come back because yesterday, he decided that he finally figured it out....biggest difficulty is...he couldn't hook the stove back up.....no stove for three days....now, normally this might not be a problem...my teens are fairly self sufficient at scrounging up stuff and hubby is suppose to be home tonight so maybe he'll bar-b-que....but, you see, the grandkids are visiting...4 of them.....that means I have 8 kids in the house wanting food.....dear Lord....

anyways, we will survive and this too shall pass.

I was thinking about my dad today....it's getting better, he's not constantly in my mind anymore...I can go to the cemetery and not cry every time.....I was thinking today at how brave my sister is. You see, a week before my dad died, he had a mild heart attack....mild for others but he only had 29% function left to begin with..so mild was significant. When I arrived at the hospital, dad looked pretty bad...in fact, it scared the heck out of me. My sister and mom had been there for a couple of hours before me, and mom was getting tired so sister took her to get some supper and then on home. Dad was in a lot of distress, only semi-conscious, and very restless in his bed. I decided I would stay longer...
......as the evening progressed, and he was still very restless, I was concerned and checked with the nurse..she said that was very normal after a heart attack.....dad kept moving his legs and his arms, trying and sometimes succeeding, pulling his leads off......it became quite late...I didn't want to leave him....people called, encouraging me to go home, nurses said they'd watch him...I finally decided to leave his side....I leaned over to kiss him goodnight and tell him I love him...I found myself calling him daddy...which took me aback, I hadn't called him that in years...but I did....and I cried and I begged him not to leave me...oh, I was very selfish....he had been through so much but there I was saying..'daddy, please don't leave...I don't want you to go'.

A week later, dad was having more chest pains, this time it was just my sister with him....she was very brave...a lot braver than I...she told him that it was okay, that if he had to leave, that it was okay......and he left.

I don't know why I was thinking of that today...maybe having so many in the house at one time just gets your mind going in different directions.....maybe I'm just tired.....maybe I'll be glad when summer is done and the 'routine of life' starts up again, maybe, just maybe, I was reminded because last night I was having chest pain and going down my left arm....and for my kids reading this, don't have a cow...I just picked up Afton when I shouldn't have....don't tell dad...he'll have a fit! It does get your mind wondering though when you have pain like that...it also reminds you of other things I guess.

That's all...better go figure out what to feed the masses!

Dignity~

2010-07-16T08:41:00.004-04:00

"Gabe's mom says the first twenty years are all about charm. From twenty to forty, it's about beauty. Forty to sixty is the contentment season, and then sixty to eighty are the dignity years."

Good Morning Company Girls!

As I pondered this quote yesterday.....it made me smile.....I've had mixed feelings about having my sixtieth birthday this November... sixty sounds so old .....but dignity sounds quite lovely...has a nice ring to it....I'm unsure of whether I can pull it off....but it's worth a try!

The book that I got the quote from was just a little book that I found on a discount table....in fact, I think I bought it with someone else in mind but ended up reading it myself...and even though it was just a little fiction diddy...it had some nuggets in it that I truly found touching my heart...don't you just love little surprises like that! Another quote was a paraphrase of a scripture verse in Matthew 11 ~

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me -- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace."

~Learn the unforced rhythms of grace~ oh my, now that really spoke to my heart....doesn't that just impress you with dignity ?

I truly need a real rest these days...and I realized that it has to come from within...starting in my heart......

...if we keep on chasing after rest in all the wrong places.....going different places, doing restful things, being with certain people (or not being with certain people) then we're really just chasing after the soap bubble that a child blows into the air....we can't really catch them can we, as they float so high and lazily away from our reach.....the true rest that we are yearning for, searching for, trying to attain, would not be there even if we were able to reach it with our fingertips....because it's all surface, it's all so elusive.....and even a really good sleep or nap does not provide the rest that we are desperately needing at this point in our lives....

.....instead of me railing against God and my 'lot in life'....I need to realize and accept that he's just writing a new history in my life....something that I need to move with , gracefully and with dignity~

who knew that a little discounted fiction book could make me see all that!

When I rail against what plan God has for me...it's exhausting...I am weary.....okay the constant physical pain I have has a lot to do with it all but I know, that what I really have to work on is my heart. I can't change the physical pain ...it's always there, it always will be there (something to look forward to in heaven...no pain...what a concept!)....but....I can work on my heart...and maybe coming into my sixtieth birthday.....I'll be able to do it with dignity.

Things.........

2010-07-12T08:33:00.002-04:00

Here's my wee mom....this very stubborn Irish lady decided to go for a walk while I was away at the trailer....it was quite a significant walk...she was determined to get to the Winners store...she was bored and wanted to buy a blue t-shirt...and a shower cap.....well, after walking a few kilometres, her hip cracked and down she went...fortunately, right in front of the fire station...ambulance was called...she insisted that she was fine..just needed to get her 'sea legs'...but after a trial walk, she accepted the fact that maybe it should be exrayed...fractured pelvis! So, she's been in the hospital for the past week...nothing they can really do...just has to knit back together itself....speaking of knitting...thought I'd take some to her...she's sooooooooo bored......today, they're suppose to take her to a convalescent home for rehab.....I hope it wont be too long before she's back in the Retirement Home.....

Here's sweet Jairus...with his quilt...finally done...I started it last September and I'm afraid it took me about three months longer than usual to get it done....I think he's pleased...

This is a pic of the whole thing...I finished sewing the binding on at the trailer and asked our next door trailer neighbor if I could lay it on her hammock to take the picture...she so ever nicely said...'sure'...

Now if I could just get the time to get the next top done, I'd be happy! It's quite unsettling not to have a quilt to sit down and relax with....and with my life right now I need lots of relaxation.....

all for today!

there is hope, isn't there?

2010-07-06T10:05:00.003-04:00

Okay, so I'm sitting at my trailer, wondering what the heck I'm doing here...it's stinking hot...which is fine if you have air conditioning...which...I'm very glad and appreciative that we do as the temperature mounts up to the 90's!! So...what is the problem....everyone wants to be in the air conditioning..which is similar to when it rains when you're camping...everyone wants to be in the trailer.....6 large bodies in a small 29' trailer is not comfortable.....whereas, a scant 2-1/4 hour drive from here is my house...albeit, not a huge house...not even a large house but..significantly bigger than an 8 x 29' trailer!

We have our trailer at a bible conference grounds...there are bible study services every morning, there are activities for our teens every morning and evening ( a big selling point to be here ) , people are friendly...over the years we've made some friends and acquaintances that we see every year.....in fact, last night hubby and I visited with a couple that live about 20 minutes from us at home, but we never see...but we usually visit with once a year when they're here... go figure!

Eldest son is being interviewed tomorrow for a teaching position.....in Saskatchewan.....I'm of two minds on this....I really want him to get a teaching position, anywhere really to get his foot in the door of his teaching career that he's worked so very hard to attain for the last 14 years....but...Saskatchewan...really people...do you know how far that is from Ontario!!!

So, as we sit here, in our little tin box......I ponder these things...amongst others.....will #2 son ever get his life turned around, will #3 son rejoin the army or spend then rest of his life installing hot tubs (which is most excellent right now cause it pays the bills and puts gas in his truck...but will he be satisfied with that long term...I think not).....will #2 daughter get a job real soon....I sure hope so ...it really becomes difficult to pay the rent and other bills when very little money is coming in.....will #3 daughter get a job soon...yes, I know that she just graduated highschool...but the longer she sits around the harder it will be...we've tried to convince her that that part of her life is done but I don't think she's convinced yet...will #4 daughter still carry on about moving out when we get home or will the counselling work.....I could say more about each of my kids but they'd probably kill me......at least be slightly upset with me.....

I've heard people say that their parenting is done when the kids become adults....I don't agree...it's just different....the parenting we still do with the teens at home is way different to the parenting we do with the kids no longer at home...but it still is...parenting that is.....just different.....

so, that's my thots for today......speaking of parenting...I miss my dad...a lot.....wouldn't mind some parenting from him right now.....have to wait til I see him again......when he gives me that big hug and says 'Hi, Marie'...with that upward lilt to his voice that I can still hear.....lookin' forward to that day.....hope I see all my kids there too.....is that too much for a mom to hope for ..I don't know.....

Maya Graduates!

2010-07-02T00:40:00.004-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Maya Graduated from high school this week!!!!!!

We are so proud of her! She worked very hard and she even surprised herself and us by winning an award! It was the Kinsmen Award for Academic improvement in Special Services...and it came with a $200 cheque....she was soooooooooo excited!

For the past 4-1/2 months Maya did her last semester of high school in a co-op placement ...the first half in a classroom setting at one of the hospitals and the second half actually in one of the hospital getting practical training in an E.A. (Environmental Aid) and a porter...she loved being a porter...the E.A.,...not so much..but she did very well. Plus, she had to take a bus, for the very first time, making connections and transfers and go clear across the other side of the city...about an hour bus ride....I think she was more scared of that but in no time she caught on and was at ease with it. Her shifts were at different times..some were even at 6 a.m.! Which meant she had to get up at 4 a.m., to catch the 5 a.m., to get there by 6 a.m. I didn't hear her complain once!

The trouble is..now she must find a job..we were hoping that she'd do well enough that the hospital would hire her...but there are no available porter positions at this time.....plus..the longer she's away from the hospital, the harder it will be to get a job there. Good grief...always something.

Emma continues to give us a significant amount of grief but she did see the counsellor last week...one positive step.

So, today we plan on going to the trailer for a week...the weather is suppose to be pretty good next week so I hope the kids co-operate and the week goes well.

Hope you all have a wonderful week!

Summer is Here!!!!

2010-06-25T08:36:00.002-04:00

Good Morning Company Girls!

Well, I just have a few minutes...hubby and I are taking our new mattress up to our trailer (about 2-/14 hours drive away) today plus 'opening up' the trailer for the season....hubby does most of the work while I bat at mosquitoes...the water lines have to be flushed out, the hydro turned on, the grass, which is probably a foot high needs to be cut. Maya wanted to come along but this is hubby's last Friday off before the holidays kick in...I figure any Fridays off in the summer will be with everyone.....so this is our very last alone one. Anyways, eldest daughter ended up needing Maya to babysit......

This week the sale of mom and dad's house went through...kind of bittersweet...good to get it all done but the final door closing on an earthly, physical connection with dad. Now, some more work as we clear out all the rest of the household goods that we left in for stageing.

This past Father's Day was extremely difficult....I stayed home from church, went to the cemetery.....dad's graveside looked pretty pathetic...abandoned, my brother called it....so he got to work and added some topsoil and peat moss...planted a lily flower.....I guess we'll have to see about a gravestone soon...not quite sure on the timing of these things....I think you have to wait a certain amount of time for the ground to settle but no idea how long.

Second oldest daughter called early this morning asking for thoughts and prayers for a friend she used to work with....a 22 year old young man named Mark who was diagnosed with brain cancer a short time ago....it would seem that he's not responding to the usual cancer treatments...chemo and such ...they're taking him in for emergency treatment...if you could remember him in your quiet time that would be a good thing....

...so, that's about it..oh, I did see a new counselor for Emma last night...Emma has an appointment with her tomorrow morning...Emma is still pursuing another living situation....although she keeps talking about how excited she is to see her friends at the trailer this summer...go figure....you have to be brilliant to figure out teens these days....and I'm not...I'd just like it to be done with...either way at this point.....defeatist attitude I know...but I'm tired.

Take care girls and have a great first weekend of the summer!